When it comes to relationships, there is no bond quite like the one a girl shares with her bestie. Be it a childhood pal or a college roommate, this is the person that blurs the line between friend and family. As the definition of “ride or die”, she is the rock you lean on when times get tough and the phone call you make with exciting news. Sister, secret keeper, snuggle buddy—a true bestie is hard to come by. But when you find one (or maybe a few) of those special people, you know right away that it’s the real deal.
So what happens when life takes an unexpected turn and said friend begins a new chapter in an entirely different city or state? Well, panic ensues-and so do a few other scenarios. Here are seventeen of them:
1. At first the struggle is so very real. In a physical sense, you’ve lost your partner in crime, and without her the usual experiences you’ve made ritual don’t feel quite the same.
2. You try to fill the void with lots and lots of texting. From where you’re getting coffee to the new gym she’s joined, you learn more about her daily activities once she’s gone than you knew when she was here.
3. You feel weirdly obligated to interact with other people since she’s no longer available for weekly activities. This in turn brings you to the sad realization that the term “social circle” is really just code for “I basically have one friend.”
4.You make it a point to soak up her new city. You learn exactly what it costs to get there and how long in advance to book a train ticket or flight. After a visit or two under your belt, you’ve decided on favorite spots and created new fun memories together. Actually when you think about it, it’s almost like you live there too (only you don’t).
5. You use social media to stalk each other regularly, so as to not miss out on a thing.
6. You’re met with a strange, guilt-inducing sense of sadness the first time you see an instagram of her hanging out with her “new city” friends. Of course you’re happy she’s enjoying herself, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel all kinds of FOMO for at least a minute or two.
7. Hunting for, deciding on and decorating a new apartment all involve a perpetual reliance on your cell phone. Who says you can’t do a walk-through on FaceTime? This will be your home-away-from-home, after all.
8. It becomes your job to update her on all happenings taking place here at home.
9. Phone calls (yes, your phone still does that) and long-winded emails are used to replace your once scheduled coffee dates. Aside from the distance, not much else has changed.
10. Getting to catch up with her mom and dad feels like a mini-family reunion.
11. You plan to do fun things whenever she’s home that you may not have otherwise done. Oddly enough, this in turn allows you to see your own city or town in a brand new light.
12. When either of you starts dating someone new you make it a point to get to know them so you still feel like you can be a sound judge during later relationship talks. By the time you’ve met in person, they’ve heard enough about you to be nervous, uneasy and just a little bit scared.
13. You’ve officially mailed your first “this reminded me of you” gift.
14. You may or may not receive an exciting text about a shirt she just bought—only to remember you bought that same thing last week.
15. Whether it’s The Bachelor, Housewives or The Walking Dead, you try to text during all the new episodes of your go-to shows.
16. Returning or having clothes, books or accessories returned now requires either a month long delay or a postal stamp—which is depressing.
17. Slowly the realization sets in that there will be a day or perhaps even a few when you’re both too busy with life, work and whatever else is going on to catch up. And while you may have once feared this distance would damage your relationship, you now find instead that you’re pretty damn lucky to have a friendship that’s proven otherwise.