The Fine Art Of Solitude

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As you wake up from a deep slumber, you think to yourself why is it that a lot of people tell you that one of the worst things in life is waking up alone. You get lost in your thoughts and become quite baffled; you are brought up with a mentality that constantly encourages you to be content with yourself and to rely on yourself as your own source of happiness. Small portions of sunlight shine bright into your room, as the window and shades were only half open. It’s not too sunny and not too dark. The bed is almost too comfortable to get yourself up; you enjoy the comfort of your body buried into the soft inflated blankets of your bed as you watch the curtains softly swing back and forth from the wind entering into the bedroom. You then realize it’s time to make your coffee whilst listening to your favorite music before you get further bewildered by your thoughts. Your mind is consumed with all the responsibilities that are waiting to be taken care of.

As you sip into the cup of coffee, you smell the fresh black beans and instantly you’re ready to rule the world. You wear your favorite clothes and carry your favorite bag. All the small things that make you feel optimistic and positive about are the ones that count. You find yourself heading to university, as content and joyful as can be. You attend classes and as soon as it’s time for assembly hour, you suddenly realize that most of your friends have travelled abroad and you’re the only one you’ve got. You contain your buoyancy and place a pair of giant beats on your ears to block all external voices and forget about the world around you. You enjoy the music and step into a different world that you’re reading about in you’re favorite book.

A long day is now ending as you step into the house. Your father is sitting on his favorite wooden chair by the balcony wearing a suit. Only his shirt, half buttoned with sleeves pulled up, and his black jacket that matched with his black pants now hanging behind the chair he’s sitting on. He seems to be enjoying the last few puffs of his cigar, as he sits with one leg on top of the other, before heading some place else. You can see him as he stares into pure nothingness. Even though you can sense his presence, his mind is wandering in some other place.

As you enter the living room, you smell your favorite odor, a lemon coconut scented air refresher that your mother had filled the house with earlier that morning. You find your mother doing the laundry whilst watching her favorite movie “Gone with the wind”, enjoying the silence of the house before your siblings get back from school. You head to help her, containing yourself from saying a word.

Your sisters get back from school. The two girls start arguing about which doll to play with, which cartoon channels to watch and which one of them would be lucky enough to take that last piece of Kinder chocolate. You head back to your room to escape all the madness as you watch your mom take control of the situation by trying to make both sisters happy in order to restore the silence.

As you head to sleep, you look through the window only to realize what was once sunshine is now dawn and colorless. The birds that were at some point humming are now asleep. The cars that were moving hastily are now parked. The sound of life and humanity has been put to a halt. Your mother is reading a book in her bed waiting on your father to come back home. Your sisters have collapsed in front of the television while watching “Tom and Jerry”.

You find it difficult to apprehend the fact a household of 5 individuals satisfied with their own selves are living together, yet alone.

You get into bed and sense your body sinking into your bed gradually. You think of everything that has happened during your day and get lost in your thoughts once more. As your head descends into your pillow, you realize that there exists a very thin line between solitude and contentment. There exists a very thin line between feeling lonely and feeling happy. They say “Happiness isn’t real unless it’s shared”; no matter how delighted one is, you must find someone to share your happiness with. You eventually realize that the hardest thing is not waking up alone, but rather it’s coming back home to nobody to share your thoughts with; you forcing yourself to sleep before realizing you’re falling asleep alone. TC mark

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