5 Things You Shouldn’t Judge Her For
By Sally Abbas
1. Don’t judge her by what you hear about her from other people.
Why deny yourself the chance of learning someone’s ins and outs, their ups and downs? Why blind yourself without even giving yourself a reason to be blinded? She is what she makes of herself, not what other people make of her. She is who she is at the end of every night, when all her makeup is off and when her mind is at rest. She is who she is when she does what she loves and when she goes after what she loves. She’s the way she feels and listens, not the way she looks and sounds. Let yourself judge her for her being and not her figure. Don’t let yourself have a notion of her that isn’t true, because the only truth there is lies within her heart– not within the words of others.
2. Don’t judge her for being outgoing.
Because deep down she could be the most innocent human being. Don’t judge her for hiding her fear of the unknown and covering her purity with her loud voice and her big dreams. She hides her fears in her voice and her personality. Her comfort-ability with others makes her comfortable with herself. They seek her in times of need because she seeks them in times of rejuvenation– because even her outgoing self needs to be brought back to life. She knows everyone and everyone may know her, but does she even know herself? Help her find herself when she has lost all hope. And not the self that she chooses to project in front of others, but the self that she chooses to see whenever she looks in the mirror. Be her mirror and her best friend. Become the person she has no words for; because every outgoing person wishes someone would make them come to a complete stop. Make her cluelessly fall in love with you to the point of no return.
3. Don’t judge her for having big dreams.
Let her tackle them. Let her go for them. Just let her dream, and don’t judge her based on her dreams. Dreaming is her harmless way of loving herself when other people chose not to. It’s a way of pushing herself and conquering the odds. It’s her way of letting herself be happy– even if she deep down knows they may not come true. Let her ramble about everything she wants to do in the next hour, day, and year. Let her share every instant of her life with you, for sharing those dreams with you is an honor you should cherish. Because maybe someday you’ll be with her in all her glory as she takes on those dreams. Be her cheerleader at the time she needs you most. Cheer her on through her busy schedule knowing that someday she’ll be yours; that at the end of the day she will come back to you, and no one else. Let her dance around in the rain as she dreams of her aspirations and future endeavors. She knows she may not accomplish them all, but she just needs someone to listen.
4. Don’t judge her for being too romantic.
For memorizing every line Noah says to Allie. For shedding tears even in instances when they are far from needed. Don’t judge her for having high hopes when it comes to relationships. Her dreams seep into her reality in a way of romance, and you should learn to be okay with every bit of that– for being romantic is not her means of being desperate. It’s not her means of saying she wants everything to be a perfect fairytale, for she’s also wise enough to know that all she may need is you and your being. Believing in romance is her way of making this life worth living. For what is there to look forward to in life if there were no roses grown and no hearts at ease when they are received? She loves everything about romance for she is in love with love. She’s in love with the idea of being in love. She’s in love with the way a movie ends and a new outlook on life begins. She’s in love with everything that gives life meaning, and it should be totally okay with you that romance tops her list; because that list is part of her adventures into the unknown. She may believe in love and all it’s glory, but she also believes in the simple things, the little things. The little words and gestures that make life worth waking up for. So pay close attention and you’ll learn to pick up on the simple pleasures she craves and not judge her for wanting them.
5. Don’t judge her for being too nice.
For her kind soul that gets kinder as the years go on. Don’t ask her to have a heavy heart. Don’t ask her to treat people any way that she wouldn’t want to treat them. Her kindness is already engraved in a part of her heart that cannot be removed. She sees the good in people regardless of the bad they’ve done to her. She chooses to live a life free of grudges and drama, so let her be. Let her be because her kindness will become your kindness. You’ll crave that kindness when she forgets about it just as much as her own body starts to realize it’s mis-being. She lives off of that kindness, for she can never sleep at night knowing she missed out on an opportunity of helping someone. She helps people grow even at times when she can’t grow herself, because that is exactly what kindness is. Let her be kind to you and you’ll learn how to be kind in the exact way she has always wanted. She’ll help you more than you’ll ever help her. She’ll be kind to your soul because her soul has been guarded from the world for so long. For all she wants is someone who can tame that kind heart of hers and steer it in the right direction.
Don’t judge her; don’t change her; just love her.