I Love You In Languages You Don’t Comprehend

man carrying woman while standing on snow road
reza hasannia / Unsplash

Meeting you has been eye-opening. I was fine. I know I was. I was just a well-rooted, cautious hard worker, trying to save up my money, put myself through college while managing my job. And then, you happened.

I was hesitant to leave home and go to a land I’d never heard of. I’m not outgoing, I’m not a traveler. Or at least I thought I wasn’t. And now, when I’ve met you – after I’ve spent time looking into those light brown eyes and holding those soft, tender hands – all I want to do is catch a flight out of my abode to wherever you are.

It’s crazy. You and I, we’ll never be “we.” You and I know that. It’s a discussion that has kept you distracted from work while I stay up – both glued to our phones, trying to make sense of this. And it’s funny, because translating what the other says through technology has done more damage than good.

You say you love me and don’t want to hurt me. But the message I receive always seems too distorted. I say I love you and I want to be with you, despite the sacrifices I must make. But you seem to misunderstand because  clarity is hard to find when I can’t hold your hand and explain the same to you.

Night and day, the very construct of time and endless skies – there are just so many barriers that separate you and I from being “we.” From being “us.”

For me, the hardest is language. See, I would normally write essays upon essays, telling you I love you. I would pour my heart out in a postcard or over a text and explain to you just how anxious I feel knowing you’re far beyond my reach. But I can’t. I’ve tried. But you don’t understand it. So much is lost in translation that I fear my feelings will be reduced to mere buttons on your phone as you keep copy pasting the pain of my heart to make sense of the very same.

I love you. I don’t know how, I don’t know why. And anyone who knows me knows that it’s insane. That it can’t happen, it shouldn’t happen. It’s reckless, it’s stupidity, it’s nothing short of a suicidal plunge. Yet, I tell you the three words that can be understood in any language across the world: I love you.

I love you in languages you don’t comprehend. You love me in a language I’m aching to understand. I love you across continents and you love me against the fabric of time.

We, – yes we, for we suffer in love together – love against all odds, knowing there may be nothing more to this than the pain of distance and constant yearning. We love anyway, knowing that one moment of pure clarity and peace – staring into each other’s eyes with more love than we’ve felt ever before – is more than enough to help us survive the ache inside our hearts.

I love you and you love me. Maybe, just maybe, that will be enough to overcome barriers that are too human, too base for a love like ours. Maybe, just maybe, one day, in harmonized tongues, you and I will finally become, “we.” TC mark

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