The Single Life Didn’t Choose Me; I Chose The Single Life


“Why are you so against being in a relationship?”

I get asked that a lot.

It’s almost as if it is a sin for a person, especially a girl, to want to be single and independent.

Especially with the millennials being seen as the generation with a prominent hookup culture, there is a stigma attached to being single. It is almost appalling to some people that a person might willingly choose to not be in a relationship.

This is not some sort of an excuse. I’m not lying and saying that I don’t want a relationship just to hide the fact that I don’t have anyone to be in a relationship with at the moment. The truth is, even if there’s someone I had feelings for and that person reciprocated, I still would not want a committed relationship right now.

While there are many people out there who are in fulfilling relationships, there are also others who are in one just for the sake of keeping themselves from being lonely or bored.

The latter are so obsessed with having a significant other to take cute selfies and create new “relationship goals” with that they are constantly in one relationship after another.

But I don’t want that.

I’m not ready to get into a commitment with another person simply because of boredom or a fear of being alone or to say, “Yes, I am dating someone.”

I don’t want to be in a relationship that might not even last. I want to wait for the one that will be meaningful. The one where I will feel so strongly about the other person that all my issues with relationships will suddenly disappear. The relationship where I can see a real future.

One day that person will come along, and all the pieces will fit perfectly.

But I’m not going to try and find that person right now. I’m not in a hurry.

I’m not going to spend all my energy and time trying to find another person; I don’t need a significant other right now.

I could give you a hundred different reasons as to why I should not be in a relationship right now. And every single one of those reasons would be valid, trust me. But honestly, at the end of the day, the only reason that really matters is this: I shouldn’t be in a relationship because I don’t want to be in one right now.

I would much rather make use of this free time I have by focusing on myself. I want to put my education and career first. I want to be with my friends and family.

I’m going to find a way to succeed in life. I’m going to learn to be a better person, and I’m going to get my life together before I start looking for someone to share it with.

I have the whole world to explore. I have so many new people to meet, so many new places to visit, and so many new memories to make. And I genuinely feel that if I were to get into a relationship right now, I would feel stifled. I would not be able to branch out as much as I do when I’m single.

So here’s to all the people who want to be single right now: Don’t let anyone stop you. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do. You are the best judge when it comes to what you are and aren’t ready for, and no one else is allowed to get in the way of those decisions.

Put yourself first. Be a little selfish. If you want a relationship, go out there and make it happen; but if you don’t, then do not let society pressure you into it.

Step outside, see the world, and enjoy the beauty of life. If and when you do decide you want a relationship, then go for it. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Sai Sailaja Seshadri

I have a verified twitter account @saisailu97

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