Dating, ohhh dating. It is such an interesting concept that has evolved (or should I say devolved) so much throughout the past few decades. I think one of the major issues with dating and relationships in today’s society is that people, myself included, tend to lie to those that they admire. Lying has become the norm when it comes to dating because God forbid we share information about ourselves that might make us, dare I say, human. Now, this is the part where I say this article may not apply to everyone and props to those that are unapologetically themselves, but for the rest of ya’ll listen up.
We begin relationships by lying about who we really are for fear of that person not actually liking us, and not accepting any past mistakes, or current unresolved personal battles that we are too ashamed to face head-on. So, right from the start, we are already creating a false picture of our true selves. I’m not just talking deep here either; I am talking about little lies as well that ultimately shape our image. He says Sublime is his favorite band, for example, so you do a quick web search and look up a list of songs and pick one that’s your “favorite.” You don’t ever listen to Sublime, but hey brownie points for you because you just became more appealing. We align our interests with theirs and do our best to impress them. What we are really doing is thinking short-term, although we might insist we aren’t and we are actually serious about this person. I say this because if we have any intention of ever having an honest, loving, long-term relationship with this person then we should tell the truth from the get-go, and not feel ashamed about ourselves. All of those lies and secrets we held in from the start will all eventually unfold, and the truth will come out. And you might be wondering why months down the road you aren’t happy; you aren’t doing yourself any favors by building a web of lies. In the end, you are only setting yourself up for a failed relationship.
So, understand that the truth will set you free. Don’t shy away from who you are; Own your mistakes, own your flaws, and learn to love yourself so you don’t feel the need to hide away. And if that person doesn’t like the real you then don’t waste your time investing in someone that doesn’t see your value. Stay real, because you owe that to yourself.