Thought Catalog

How You’ll Die In A Horror Movie, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

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creepy doll
Aimee Vogelsang

ARIES

You’ll die because you piss off the killer. Even when you’re probably scared as f*ck deep inside, your egotism will get the best of you. You’ll try to prove to your friends (and the audience) that you’re brave, so you taunt the killer.

However, you’re actually THIS CLOSE to abandoning the heck out of everyone. Too bad and too late. Now you’re dead.

TAURUS

You’ll die because you’re in denial that something is wrong. Creepy sound coming from behind you? Probably just the wind. Weird feeling that someone or something is staring at you? Probably just paranoia.

You won’t believe that a killer or monster is out to get you, until it’s staring you right in the face. Even then, you’ll probably just assume it’s a prank. Bye, bye!

GEMINI

Who knew being too careful and perceptive could be a bad thing? Being the smart cookie you are, you’re probably the first one to notice something’s amiss. Unfortunately, this doesn’t please the serial killer who has barely begun their rampage.

You’ll die because you’re too nosy and asked too many questions.

CANCER

Emotions are both your strong suit and weakness, Cancer. You can be quite fragile and prone to panic. Maybe a horror movie isn’t the best place for you.

You’ll die while trying to hide from the killer, because your stifled sobs and uncontrollable shaking easily give away your location. Breathe quieter!

LEO

With your infamous pride, everyone saw this coming miles away, Leo. That is, everyone but you. Your bravery and prowess should be admired, for sure, but your thirst for the spotlight may blind you from thinking clearly.

You’ll die trying to be the hero. Hey, at least we can say you were a martyr.

VIRGO

You’ll die because you actively try to capture the baddie, Virgo. Along with Gemini, your intuitiveness and smartness will help you realize there’s danger, while nearly everyone else is clueless.

This will lead you to take action and seek help. You’ll offer to do something risky like get weapons, or call the police, or set a trap for the killer. Unfortunately, things won’t go as planned. On the bright side, your death was for a good cause.

LIBRA

Your inner hoe is your true enemy. You’ll get axed while having sex, Libra.

As gentle and peaceful as you are, you don’t really believe that the killer will target you. You’re such a charming person, after all! Thus, you’ll be that person throwing a party or going on a date, continuing to live your life as if all were in order, until the killer bursts your privileged bubble.

SCORPIO

Scorpio, you will die because you’re killed by the “final girl”. How? That’s because you’re the killer!

Nobody saw you coming until the last minute. Your death will be glorious, though. Hey, chin up! There’s a 50-50 percent chance you’ll be resurrected in the sequel (and then subsequently killed again, oops).

SAGITTARIUS

Your itchy feet will get the better of you, Sagittarius. Your friends will try to convince you to hide out in a safe place, but you’ll eventually turn restless and frustrated. You hate being confined and you’re not going to let some lame killer interfere with your life!

You’ll attempt to persuade the others to escape with you, but they won’t. With determination, you will run to your car and say “See you never, assholes!”. Unfortunately for you, the killer is two steps ahead.

The killer will predict your move, and will be hiding in the back of your car, ready to slit your throat as you drive on the highway. You almost get away. Almost.

CAPRICORN

You’re too clever for your own good! You know damn well how to survive and how to avoid the killer. However, your friends aren’t as smart as you.

Some dumbass will propose to split-up to hunt the killer, and you, in vain, will try to explain why this is a terrible idea. Sadly, they won’t listen to you. And you’ll die as a result of their foolishness.

AQUARIUS

Karma and a moral compass are your downfall. You’ll be the one that accidentally summons the demon, or unwittingly befriends a secret serial killer and introduces them to your friends.

As a result, you will feel guilty, and die sacrificing your life for your friends.

PISCES

As lovable as you are, Pisces, you’re pretty gullible. You’ll assume that you’ll be able to reason or bargain with the killer. You believe that if someone showed them a little understanding and compassion, that they’ll drop their weapon and turn a new leaf.

The killer will pretend to cry and apologize, and you’ll hesitantly buy their act. You’ll die when you hug them, only to be met with a knife to the back. TC mark

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