“Never give more than you’re prepared to lose.”
It’s a philosophy I like to live by every day because, even if I stick my fingers in my ears, close my eyes, and cry out, “LALALALA” loudly enough, it still doesn’t change the fact that some people out there are just, well, useless.
I try not to believe it. Every ounce of me tries to make an excuse for it. Maybe they’re busy? Perhaps they’ve had a hard day? They’ve probably just been distracted. And yet, during my voyage of metaphorical avenues, I ignore the one super obvious road which makes the most perfect amount of sense to explore.
They live on “Utterly Useless Street,” don’t they?
This isn’t meant to be a rant, honest. My intention is to always turn a negative into a positive, which, as you’ll see, still remains to be the case with this piece.
So, let’s get back to business!
One unfortunate situation that does seem quite common nowadays is where people don’t bother acknowledging someone else’s existence, simply because their circumstances have changed. The other party involved, however, remains absolutely clueless as to what that change may be, leaving them a little bit bumfuzzled (AKA confused. The word “bumfuzzled” is far more amusing to read, though, don’t you think?)
So, here’s the deal. If you’re too busy to reply to someone, that’s okay, as long as you have every intention of getting back to them. We all have busy lives, so a few forgetful messages or phone calls here and there are forgivable. But, if this situation becomes repeated or if the intention to return the owed message was never there, then that’s a different story.
God wouldn’t have given us mouths if we could read minds, so you’ve got to be confident enough to communicate with it.
There’s the key word. Did you see it? It was “communicate.”
Whatever the case may be, if you want to share the multifarious thoughts that bounce around in your mind, you have to learn how to do this. Emotional clarity keeps things transparent. Everyone will know where they stand (and who wouldn’t want to know that?). Not every conversation is easy, though, I know. But that doesn’t mean you avoid having them completely.
Instead, what you do is master the art of good communication, which, you’ll be pleased to discover, can be achieved by following these five super simple golden rules.
1. Never assume.
Because to assume is to make an “ass” out of “u” and “me” – get it?
2. Express yourself.
Be confident in asking important questions and speaking your mind. After all, a healthy relationship functions best on honesty.
3. Remain positive and diplomatic.
No one will tell you the truth if they feel emotionally bombarded. So keep your cool and play nice.
4. Respect those involved.
Treat others how you’d like to be treated. Don’t go silent, don’t ignore them, etc. Just appreciate that they have feelings too, and if you like them enough, you’ll do that. Even if you don’t, though, it’s just common decency to clearly mark out the situation in a way that preserves the emotional integrity of both parties involved.
5. Remember your goal.
Ultimately, you would like to keep this relationship as solid and stable as possible. So don’t do anything that could cause irreparable damage by being hasty. Keep things clear and simple. Don’t overcomplicate situations and nip any problems in the bud early on. If you can overcome things calmly and rationally by following the first four points, whether you win or lose, you’ll have gone the right way about it.
Maybe it’s not always this cut and dry, but it definitely stops your mind going into overdrive if you do all these things, and that’s got to be a bonus!
In summary, most situations, people, etc. are out of your control. Obviously, they can be influenced to a degree, but that doesn’t mean it will always work in your favor. Therefore, the best thing you can do in any situation is to remain true to yourself and to all those involved and to accept that no two people are wired the same.
Nevertheless, respect is a two-way street – if you want to receive it, you’ve got to return it. Just remember that communication is what steers the direction in which that travels.