I truly do think of myself as a mature person. I like to call arguments “disagreements” instead of “fights,” I use a calm, mild-mannered voice while “disagreeing” and I try to avoid conflict if possible. However, there are a few exceptions to this rule that I’m sure we are all a little guilty of.
Here are a few things tiny ways that you annoy your boyfriend but, as Beyoncé so eloquently put it: “I ain’t sorry”:
1. Not responding to his texts and then getting annoyed with him for not responding to yours.
2. Making him floss.
3. Choosing to go out with your girlfriends instead of him.
4. Openly disliking his really sexist friend who always slyly puts his hand around your waist during parties.
5. Clipping your toenails in bed.
6. Constantly bringing up that thing that you ALWAYS disagree on (it’s like picking at a scab— you know you really shouldn’t, but you can’t help yourself).
7. Telling him he just “doesn’t get it” when he’s clearly trying to understand where you’re coming from (because let’s face it, he probably doesn’t).
8. Denying morning sex (because you’re “soooo tired” and don’t feel like having someone heavily breathing on you rn).
9. When you talk shit about one of your girlfriends to him for hours and then hang out with that same friend the next day.
10. Refusing to accept his compliments because your outfit is not up to your own standards and you don’t believe he knows what he’s talking about in the first place.
11. Singing over him when you are singing along to the radio in the car.
12. Always taking over the “DJ” position at your parties— or letting him think that he’s in control of the music and then sneaking in and changing it to yours.
13. Showing more affection to your best girlfriend publicly than you do to him.
14. When you make fun of his stupid outfits or his lack of socks.
15. Winning any and every game you play (bowling, chess, staring contest—you name it, you’ve won it).
16. Plugging your headphones in and listening to music instead of talking to him when you’re hanging together.
17. Watching the next episode of the show you’ve been watching together without him.
18. Surprise attacks: pulling random hairs out of his back.
19. Sneakily capturing his embarrassing moments and putting them up on your snap story.
20. When at a restaurant: saying you’re “not that hungry” and then eating half his meal.
21. Deciding you’re going to be the one who gets too drunk tonight. Another shot Mothafuckas!!
22. Shaking your leg under the table repeatedly while you’re doing homework/work because you can’t sit still.
23. Sometimes laughing at his facial expressions during sex (when he’s clearly feelin’ himself and taking himself wayyy too seriously—you’re not Jake Gyllenhaal babe!).
24. Still (harmlessly) having a Tinder (“It’s like a game!” or “I don’t even use it!” or “I’m just too lazy to delete my account.”)
25. Asking him to drop you and your friends off at concerts while you pre-game (secretly, of course) in the car.
26. Repeatedly begging him to stay when he actually has to go to work.
27. And then staying in his bed all day watching Netflix on his account.