1. The dog owner who actually adopted an over-sized rat but will die defending their cuteness against the likes of a toy poodle
This one is pretty self-explanatory. I understand even the less traditionally cute dogs need love. I am not disputing that. However, let’s call a square a square. Dogs are different from humans because there is pretty much a general consensus on what make a cute dog cute. If you think a dog is cute, unlike the mysterious bartender or the chubby secretary, everyone else will unanimously agree. Please don’t be in denial. Own it.
2. The oblivious dog owner
These are probably the worst dog owners. They completely disregard/ignore their dog’s unacceptable behavior. I understand dogs are animals and cannot be completely controlled. But if your dog is obnoxiously barking at me and you don’t even spit out a strong “SHHHHH” or “Stop it,” I will give you the strongest death stare I can muster. How rude.
3. The judgmental dog owner
I think this describes my elderly neighbor. One day my dog was clearly throwing a temper tantrum. I was late for class, and he refused to walk back into the house after our morning walk. In my frustration, I spit out a few profanities. I looked up to see my neighbor staring at me as if I just beat a 6 month baby. Get over yourself lady, really.
4. The I-Let-My-Dog-Drink-Out-Of-My-Fine-China-Because-[It]-Deserves-The-Best dog owner
Your dog would eat old cat shit. It has no standards. It’s a dog. Please stop
5. The “Dog Rescue” dog owner
Let’s not confuse your passion for rescuing stray dogs with a serious (disgusting) hoarding addiction. There’s a thin line. And you independent, makeshift animal rescue “shelters” straddle that line. Who is funding you? Seriously. How do you feed 20 dogs? I’m quite satisfied NOT reading your “I just saved another pup!” daily Facebook posts or your “You should spay and neuter your pets” speech. I think ever street animal deserves a home, just not the same home.