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Although I am not a woman, I can relate to setting healthy boundaries. I have been hounded by people, who wanted my time, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do, so despite that they were visiting me from far away or that our mutual friend had died, I just had to stay away no matter how f-ed up that was. I just wanted my life back. In both cases, it was tantamount to female stalking. I told them “no” a thousand times.

This issue applies to both sexes. More than this, as people we have to start paying more attention to ourselves. We have a responsibility to get and do exactly what we want and I only mean this as it concerns our true passions. If our passions are a bit out of sink with what society values, as with doctors, engineers, lawyers and the like and say was are poets, for example, we have to own up and get jobs that support our true loves and fulfill our dreams: William Carlos Williams was a doctor while writing when he wasn’t working. If we still don’t know what we want, there are hints in everything we do. Do each one as it makes itself known.

It took me 56 years to finally narrow my loves down to two things, writing and philosophy, and maybe law. I was stumbling in the background for too long trying to decide. I have to do both and you have to do everything that burns inside of you because that is who you are and why you are here.

For women and men, stop thinking that you have to have children before your clock stops ticking or maybe that’s what you are here for, but imagine taking a couple generations off. Our world doesn’t need another child. We’ve got plenty. We need to stop passing our ambitions off to our children. They’ve got their own purpose. We are supposed to fulfill ours. Until you have arrived and you are certain and financially secure in that arrival, keep living for you. When you are happy, it it contagious. It sets the tone for the rest of us.

My sister and I were raised by a single mother, who inevitably had to give up her career. She could never go back because the field had changed. She was lucky and made it through the morass of having no marketable skills and my father, who died having left her enough to live on until she got married again. My sister and I got money until we were 21. How many of you have that? Life is tough. Secure your life before you can help others. Draw lots of lines.

Women stop thinking a man is going to help you. The rich-poor gap is so wide almost everyone is falling through the crack. No one is safe. My mother, as I said, came up empty as time went on. She never built her social security because it is based on taxes from wages. You have to work to get it and you have to work your entire life. We still have social security. Imagine how fragile it is? It is only one Republican president away from potential dismantling. They want to take that money and play the stock market and guess who is going to benefit?! Not you.

For gosh sake start to value yourself. It is your life. Stop letting other people live it for you, otherwise you are going to die with profound regret and you are going to be bitter. We don’t need anymore bitterness. Take responsibility!

Oh my, this touches my soul. I’m trying so hard to strengthen my self worth and re-frame my existence. Life’s choices are forever agonizing and always worth the fight.

Happily
Q

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[…] across a really empowering article today.  It´s called `10 Things Women Who Value Their Self-Do Differently In Relationships`.  It´s about having a high self esteem and knowing what you deserve to have, and the strength to […]

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