1. To become more pretentious.
Because this is music to your ears: “Oh, you go to *insert reputable college here*?” It doesn’t matter that all you do is watch Netflix, party, and maybe attend the odd lecture. Your going to college basically grants you a membership to the elite club, and there’s no place you’d rather be.
2. To delay your transition into adulthood.
When someone asks what you’re doing, you can say “studying,” and it saves you from any real responsibilities for at least 4 years.
3. To party with other lost young adults.
All your friends are moving on to college, so you follow like the little adorable sheep that you are, in need of a shepherd. And your shepherd happens to be an outdated and similarly lost society.
4. To follow the norm.
You may not even want or need a degree, but you are too afraid of being judged to not pursue further education.
5. To have an opportunity at some elusive future job that pays well.
That you may or may not get. But let’s not think about the latter possibility until after graduation.
6. To run sh*t.
Where else can you become President so easily? At college, you can start up your own club and feel like Obama every day for your entire glorious career as a student.
7. You don’t want to start working right away.
This is mostly because you aren’t qualified to do anything other than flip burgers or babysit, but also because you do not yet feel like an adult (ties into #2).
8. You are scared of everything beyond a structured school environment.
because that is all you know. College is basically a larger version of your high school bubble – it’s a big, expensive safety net for young-adults.
9. To make mom and dad happy.
Because the only thing harder than a final calculus exam is getting that “I’m worried about your future” look.
10. To get an education.
Yes, everything is on the internet, and books do in fact exist to teach you anything you want to know. But ultimately, without massive lecture halls and a letter between A and F to validate your existence, you probably wouldn’t put in the time to truly educate yourself on anything other than party games.
Let the academic year begin!