In any breakup, someone has to be the first to move on. Someone has to take that first step, the first leap, and find happiness. When it’s not you, it’s going to hurt.
So when you realize the person you love has moved on, here are a few things to do.
1. Delete them on all social media
That’s right, ALL social media. Block their Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram; block their Venmo if you have to. Watching them continue their life without you sucks, there’s no better way to put it. Minimize what you see. “Out of sight, out of mind” might not completely work, but I promise it’s better than being a background character, watching their life with someone new.
2. Redownload Tinder
Okay maybe you don’t have to actually get on dating sites right away, but find new ways to put yourself out there! Meet new people, go out and give life another chance. You don’t need a rebound, but you may need a reminder that there are others out there waiting to meet someone like you. Now is the time to take a chance!
3. Learn something new
This one might be overstated, but there’s so much in the world you don’t know yet, and it’s all at your fingertips. You don’t have to learn to speak Japanese overnight, but maybe there’s a dish you’ve never even tried to make because it looks way out of your experience? Make it! If it turns out horrible, order a pizza. Don’t know how to change a tire yet? Always wanted to try yoga? Feeling the paint brush calling your name? You can learn how to do just about anything on YouTube. Remember you don’t have to be perfect at anything. Just make a list of everything you could do, anything you could learn, and check them off one by one.
4. Change your look
It’s breakup 101—the key to getting over someone is to dye your hair. I found it’s helpful to change up your look. The less you look like the person they loved, the less you’ll feel like it. Get that tattoo you’ve always wanted! Spoil yourself with some new makeup and do something way out of your comfort zone. Give yourself an entire spa day, do your hair and nails, get that tan you keep saying you’re going to get soon! Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself first.
5. Clean your house
Finally, clean up your house, you know there’s somewhere that needs it. When you’re feeling low, it’s easy to let chores pile up in your living spaces, and the mess is just going to cloud your head even more. Take little steps, the more comfortable you are in your own home, the less anxiety you’ll have stacking up. Get everything off your to-do list now. Bonus to this: it’ll keep you busier and give you less time to hyper-fixate on what your ex is doing.
When all is said and done, take a deep breath, sit down, and remember all is not lost. Your life began before you met them, and will continue long after they’re gone. They held an important chapter, but your story is not yet finished. There is so much left in this lifetime to experience, don’t miss it by dwelling on the past. When you’re ready, I promise it’ll be your turn to move on, too.