Here’s Why You’ll Never Find The Guy You’re Looking For

As your thumb starts to cramp from swiping left on Tinder, you begin to wonder if you’re ever going to find that perfect guy. The barrage of dating apps available today should make this easy, right? Just when you think you’ve found Mr. Right, you swipe right and it’s a match! Five minutes into the conversation it turns out you’re looking for dinner and a movie, while he’s looking for a one night stand.

Welcome to the wonderful world of dating. Wait a minute, it doesn’t have to be like this. Recently, I decided to purge my phone of dating apps. I’ve done this before, but it didn’t last long at all. One day, it just hit me. Each and every single time I looked at my phone screen, served as a constant reminder that I was still not in a relationship. There’s no denying that you’re early 20s are overwhelming. Therefore, we constantly seek out a relationship because we think it’s going to solve our problems, make us happy, and make us whole again.

You’ve got your head in the game now. You have a mental criteria in your head of what your ideal guy is. He’s got nice hair, a killer smile, a great personality, and we’ll even hope for washboard abs. Alright, now you’re ready to find him. You take to Tinder, Happn, and maybe even Grindr (good luck) to find your mate. 797 matches and what feels like thousands of swipes left later, you still haven’t found him.

If your life is anything like mine, you can never actually find something when you’re looking for it. Also, a strict criteria is great if you’re buying a new car, searching for an apartment, or even applying for jobs. When you’re looking for Mr. Right, you’ve most likely got a list of unrealistic expectations that you’re going to spend the rest of your life searching for.

Purging all these dating apps has given me back my sanity, and also quite a bit of free time. It also removed the “hunter” mentality from my approach to dating. I was constantly on the prowl, looking for my ideal guy. Then I realized, he doesn’t actually exist and if he does, I’m not finding him anytime soon.

Granted, you’re still going to have a “type,” which is completely fine. You’ll also find yourself being attracted to guys you would have previously overlooked. So delete the dating apps and flirt back with the guy at the office, smile back at the guy on the subway, and most importantly stop looking. You just might find that you’re totally into the guy at the office, the one you would have never been into before. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog