Okay, so I made a book trailer where I talk about finding the humor in growing up with cerebral palsy, which is crazy to me because six months ago, I found ZERO lols in having CP. In fact, it was the anti-lol. But in January, I wrote a post for Thought Catalog called “Coming Out Of The Disabled Closet” that changed my life forevs. I wasn’t expecting it to. Hell, I’d already written an entire book talking about my disability, so why would a blog post make such a wild impact? But after having it go online, I immediately felt this 10,000 pound weight get lifted off my shoulders. (So cliché but it seriously does feel like a weight, okay?!!) My life can now be divided into two sections: before writing that post and after. The change was THAT insane. Coming clean about who I was and writing a goodbye letter to all the unchic shame I felt somehow solved more of my issues than spending thousands of dollars on therapy ever did.
I now have nothing to hide. I proudly limp my way into every fucking gay bar and am like, “HEYYY BABE, WHO WANTS TO MAKE OUT?!” (JK, I have a boyfriend now and I can’t say that to people.) I utter the words “cerebral palsy” casually at lunch to friends, which would be unthinkable before! And it’s all because I genuinely don’t care anymore. I realize now that NO ONE cares about any of your dark shit more than you do. Things have as much power as you give it and I gave CP sooooo much power, oh my god. CP was like a hulk-ish, terrifying figure when it really should have been a cute, non-threatening butterfly. I can’t believe I spent so many years hating myself FOR NO REASON. Everyone accepted me for who I was, except for myself.
Anyway, this is super cheesy and some of you might be lactose intolerant, so let me give one piece of advice and I’m done. Try to live your life with ONE HUNDO PERCENT honesty. When you do this, every experience just opens up to you. It’s like what I’d imagine getting let into Studio 54 felt like, except without the mounds of cocaine and David Bowie waiting on the other end.
Oh, and preorder the book if you haven’t already!