I’ve loved everyone I’ve ever touched.
Sort of. Not really. I tried.
And you tried too. I saw it. Briefly.
The first time I touched a naked body, I was young, maybe too young, and it was early in the day. Perhaps too early. Our hands were shaking like they do in Say Anything the first time they have sex, and I remember thinking to myself, “I can’t believe this is happening to me. I can’t believe someone deemed me worthy enough to have this sexual experience.” (Depending on who you are, it can take awhile for you to stop feeling lucky every time someone lets you see them naked.)
Then time passed. I found new bodies to touch and explore. I liked it best when sex happened at 3:30 in the afternoon because it felt like the most honest time of the day. Hard to think of excuses in the afternoon. Hard to hide.
There will be periods in your life when sex will answer a lot of questions for you. It will make everything clearer. There will also be times, however, when sex enables your downfall and leaves you feeling more devastated and confused than you were to begin with. That’s just the way it is. Sex serves as a refection of where you’re currently at.
Some sex tips: Try to look them in the eye even if it scares you. Always hold them after. Don’t keep on having sex with someone in the hopes that it’ll make you understand the person better. Because it doesn’t work.
Where were you the first time sex left you hating yourself? When was the first time sex left you feeling drained instead of full, warm, and happy?
I don’t believe in love at first sight but I do believe in seeing someone from across the room and knowing instantly that they’re going to matter to you. They’re going to play a major role in your life.
Memories of sex everyone will have: someone being insecure with their body and refusing to take their shirt off, someone not being able to cum or get hard, someone selfish, someone lazy, someone generous, someone ridiculous, someone cold, someone warm, someone tender, someone rough. Someone you love so much you want to be inside of them completely. Is there a way you can feel closer to them? Whatever it is, you’ll do it.
Keep loving. It’s a muscle you have to flex. Don’t let it become weak because then everything starts to die.