Thought Catalog

Things I Can’t Believe I Ever Put In My Mouth

  • 0

1. Sunny Delight

Sunny Delight (or “SunnyD” as it’s affectionately known in some regions) is an orange-flavored drink that I’m just #NotClearOn. It claims to taste like sunshine and if that’s true, then sunshine tastes like watery orange juice and global warming. When I was a kid, I used to drink this crap up. Sunny Delight was my absolute favorite and when my mom and I would go to Costco, I would make her buy the 80 pack. Looking back, I can’t believe my mom was all “whatevs” about Sunny Delight. Besides only containing 5% juice, it once made a girl turn yellow from drinking it too much.

2. Hawaiian Punch

Hawaiian Punch was another one of those #NotClearOn drinks that I used to guzzle down as a child. I don’t even really remember the taste of it but I’m sure it was atrocious. Once, on a road trip with my family, I puked in the car from drinking too much of it and vowed to never touch the stuff again. What a blessing in disguise!

3. Donuts

Who actually eats donuts? Like, who just has a daily appointment with a donut? Oh, right. I did! I used to eat a donut every day before school because my parents were always rushing to work and didn’t have time to give us a real breakfast and I loovvvvved them. I mean, of course I did! I was, like, ten. The only things I liked to eat back then were things that deleted five years off my life span. “If it’s not going to give me early onset diabetes, I am NOT eating it.” Then, randomly one day, I just decided to stop eating donuts. I would give them up for a year and if I still liked them after that, I guess I could continue eating them. But I knew if I abstained for that long, I would have no desire to eat a donut ever again. And, sure enough, I was right. I went a whole year without them and when I ate my first one, I was like, “Ew.”

4. Otter Pops

Otter Pops look like weird vaginal discharge mixed with toxic sludge. It wishes it were as good as an ICEE but, um, it’s not. You cannot even compare.

5. Tang

WHAT IS UP WITH THE WEIRD THINGS WE USED TO DRINK AS A KID? Were our parents secretly trying to poison us with this crap? Tang was the most offensive out of the bunch. It was just this sick looking orange powder that you added to water and then, voila, you had liquid Adderall. Seriously though, Tang was my gateway drug. I don’t know what they put in that powder but my guess is that it was of the Breaking Bad variety. TC Mark

image – bochalla
Powered by Revcontent

Severe(d): A Creepy Poetry Collection

I used to get butterflies when I looked at you, but now they feel more like maggots feasting away on the heart you slaughtered.

More From Thought Catalog

Things I Can’t Believe I Ever Put In My Mouth is cataloged in , , , , , ,
  • z

    ummmm astronauts drank tang and they’re in fucking space soo..

    • G

      I walk by Peter Pan Bakery every day on my way to work. It’s a daily struggle NOT to eat donuts…

  • http://natramm.wordpress.com Natalie Ramm

    I used to dip dum dums in Tang. Talk about a sugar high!

    • feelies

      fucking genius natalie

  • Megs

    LOL my parents gave me hella Tang to drink too! SMH

  • T.

    I read somewhere that they use canola oil in Sunny Delight. It’s what gives it that thick consistency. Yikessss….

    • Kenni

      Sunny Delight isn’t any thicker than a regular juice so…

  • tralala

    it’s cute that that’s what you think vaginal discharge looks like

  • http://crookedprose.wordpress.com/ Ashley

    I still love all this shit.

  • Desirae

    Never should something I’ve eaten be compared to the looks of vaginal discharge…. Blech

  • Jack

    We all know the kid who turned yellow was drinking about 2 litres of it a day. Which is more liquid than a child should consume anyway.

  • jake

    Come on now, who doesn’t like otter pops?!

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/08/things-i-can%e2%80%99t-believe-i-ever-put-in-my-mouth/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    […] Thought Catalog » Life Add a comment You’re too young for me / but I can keep a secret / I’m in total control of this situation – Rooney, Daisy Duke […]

  • http://gravatar.com/itsmelcr itsmelcr

    I used to chug Sunny D, ughhhhh

  • polkadot

    My list would look very different than this.

  • anon

    how do you even know what vaginal discharge looks like

    did a girl show hers to you, i mean

  • alysiavictoria

    Oxnard Costco. represent.

    • alysiavictoria

      edit: the price club

      • Ryan O'Connell

        omg honey that’s the one i would always go to!

  • Mer

    I still use Sunny D as a mixer.

    • http://twitter.com/iamnzane Marissa Zane (@iamnzane)

      Also, tang and vodka. It’s totally a thing.

  • Sara Suzanne

    maybe I’m just spoiled by being in seattle, but MIGHTY-O DONUTS ARE THE SHIT!

  • http://twitter.com/jolizevette Joliz (@jolizevette)

    Have you never been to the Doughnut Plant or has one that isn’t from dunkin donuts or entenmman’s? They’re delicious when done right

  • http://redlipsandcitylights.wordpress.com nnekaayana

    I am still a victim of the donut.

  • nightshaye

    Aw, that was all very P-G of you…

    • Domino

      i was expecting the grossest things tbh

  • eastcoastsnarkfactory

    I’m so disappointed that no one has yet made the obligatory penis joke, based on this title alone.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jonathan.vanen Jonathan Reagan VanEn

    Sunny D willl turn you yellow because of all the Beta-Carotene in it. It’s the same stuff in carrots, and yes, it turns you yellow if you have enough. Turning yellow isn’t a bad thing unless you’re jaundiced from liver damage, which I doubt a not-quite orange drink does no matter no matter how may dyes and preservatives are in there.

  • http://www.facebook.com/emily.mancer Emily Mancer

    Damn, Sunny Delight was good stuff indeed. Have a feeling I’d still enjoy it if I ever tried it again..Btw, since this is basically a list of the most luridly coloured, nutritionally suspect children’s drinks, Capri Sun really does deserve a place.

  • jjj

    augh same thing happened with me and donuts. stopped eating them for a year, then tried one. aaaauuuggghhhwhat.

  • Mercedes

    I like donuts because of Tim Hortons. What can I say? :P

  • Hannah

    “Tang, it’s a kick in a glass!” It just sounds like a gateway drug.

blog comments powered by Disqus