10 Reasons Why You Should Go See Magic Mike Tonight

  1. Move over dog food enthusiast Nomi Malone! There’s a new mentally-challenged stripper in town and his name is Magic Mike. We’ve desperately been needing some campiness in Hollywood lately and judging by the hilariously bad trailer, this movie seems to deliver in spades.
  2. Do you like naked oily men? Do you want to be a naked oily man? Well, then this is the movie for you! Let’s be real, the waxing and bronzer budget for this movie was probably as big as Joe Manganiello’s dick.
  3. You can get wasted in a dark room and no one will judge you for it. Seriously, if there ever was a movie to get drunk at, this would be the one. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were ambulances waiting out the theaters, ready to take people with alcohol poisoning to the hospital.
  4. There’s the possibility of seeing penis on the big screen, which is super rare. Dicks are an endangered species in movies today but thanks to Shame and Magic Mike, it looks like schlongs are making a comeback. THANK GOD.
  5. It’s fun to watch Channing Tatum act because he can’t. Although, who knows, he might actually be good in this one because it’s sort of his life story. Apparently homeboy used to be a male stripper before he graduated to Nicholas Sparks movies in which he helped chicks with amnesia. If that’s not the American Dream, I don’t know what is.
  6. Movies that are “events” are secretly fun. Standing in a long line, fighting for a good seat, feeling claustrophobic: we complain about these things but deep down we love to participate in major pop culture moments. We love to feel like we’re a part of some larger conversation — especially if that conversation involves male strippers.
  7. You could meet your future husband/wife. Imagine this romantic scenario: You’re trying to cut through the row and in the process you step on someone’s feet. “Ow! Watch it!” someone yells at you. You turn around and see their beautiful face. “Oh, sorry!” you smile coyly. “I didn’t see you there.” And then you have sex. And then you have a baby. And then that baby grows up and you tell them they were conceived at a viewing of Magic Mike.
  8. Because your boyfriend is fat and you haven’t seen a six pack in forever.
  9. Because you secretly want to be a male stripper but you’re too embarrassed to tell your friends. Watching Magic Mike might be the catalyst for you to go after your dreams!
  10. You shouldn’t need this much convincing. It’s  basically Cheez-Whiz on a g-string. Go see it.TC Mark
image – Magic Mike

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

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  • Ln

    I’ve been worried about you lately.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brandonwhumphries Brandon Humphries

    This movie has shame spiral written all over it. Matt Bomer makes me feel like a failure as a gay man.

    • http://thebookstoner.blogspot.com Eva, The Book Stoner

      You made my day.

  • http://linkhoarder.wordpress.com Sara

    I cannot wait to see this with ym girlfriends

  • http://thebookstoner.blogspot.com Eva, The Book Stoner

    There’s Jason Biggs’ dick in American: Reunion too. Bad movie, but hey, there’s a dick shot so it’s all good?

  • MM

    Actually it was a great movie. Channing Tatum has earned my respect as an actor and it’s more than just male stripping. It’s a soderbergh film so there is drama and mixture of fun and hard times. So if you are just looking for only stripping you might be disappointed.

    • quintavius

      “hard times” haha, i get it

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  • guest

    i saw it and i was so disappointed, so over hyped : (

    there was no good acting in it other than matthew mcconaughey (aka no good acting)

    tatum of course was amazing when dancing but do you really need to pay around 12 dollars to see him dance when you just saw it on the trailer? (there is not much else beside the trailer)

    not nearly enough stripping to make it worthwhile and not nearly enough development/substance to make it worth while

  • Erin

    Hahaha number 7… happened to me.
    (kidders)

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