Look, I’ll be real with you: I have no idea what straight sex is like. The closest I’ve ever gotten to a vagina is my mom’s and that was 25 years ago. I imagine it to be a lot of unflattering facial expressions though. I mean, am I wrong? Tell me! I need to know, dammit! Watch the video below for my unique take on “P in the V” sex. Special thanks to my cup of garlic aioli, Gaby Dunn, for lending her expertise and the band Widowspeak for the straight sex music.