8 Reasons Why You Should Call Me Maybe

  1. Because I gave you my number and that took so much courage/five glasses of wine! I don’t usually give my number out to anyone unless we’ve already been making out at the bar or something. And even then, I’m still like, “Gee, I know they had my hand down my pants but I’m not sure if they like me…”
  2. Because I need to see you naked and in order for that to happen, you need to call me. Just pick up that phone and start dialing. My naked body will be waiting for you on the other end of the line.
  3. Because I want somebody to eat chips and guacamole with after work. I want to come home and see you there on the couch ready to eat and watch TV with me. I mean, I don’t know you, but if you call me, I hope you’ll be someone I can watch TV with.
  4. Because I need you to let me know that I’m not dead inside. I need to know that I can still connect with another person and giving you my number made me feel the most alive I’ve felt in months so I figure we’re off to a good start.
  5. Because a month ago, I got terribly sick and no one was around to take care of me. I had a vision of my future, single and alone and puking, and it scared me straight. When I told you to “call me maybe,” what I really meant to say was, “hold my hair back when I’m puking please.” If you call me, I promise not to puke though.
  6. Because my therapist told me to “put myself out there more” and I trust her because she has long flowing hair and lives in a co-op in Chelsea. If you called me, you’d be really helping me out with my progress in therapy. It’d get her off my back at least and for that I’d be eternally grateful.
  7. Because I’m nice and funny and smart and a good kisser and I will go down on you because I’ll want to celebrate your penis, which is an extension of you, and I’ll pick out the peanuts in your pad thai because you might be allergic (JK, I won’t do that), and I’ll love your body regardless of what it looks like or if it’s my type because a dick is a dick and an ass is an ass, and I’ll make you listen to my weird music, which you’ll find charming, and I don’t know. You should call me maybe because we could have fun. Everyone needs to have fun, right?
  8. Because I’m someone who’s worth loving. I’m someone who’s worth disrupting your little life routine for. Call me maybe and we’ll get to talk and meet up in person and kiss and have sex and gush to our friends about each other and go to parties and leave together hand-in-hand and fall asleep in the cab back to our home. You can’t have any of this without the phone call though. It all begins there. TC mark
image – jasontoff

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.


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  • Anonymous

    All you want and need is to get laid.

    • http://twitter.com/imwithdband Eri

      Don’t we all?

  • http://twitter.com/sunnysarah20 Sarah Knutson

    #4 and #8. So true.

  • Andrew

    Does no one edit this shit?  A little proof-reading, maybe?

    • Alex

      chill the fuck out, bro

  • girl192

    brb gonna print this, write my number  on the back, hand it to my crush and wait by the phone

    • Heathem89

      Good luck!

  • Kto

    Well then, give me your number!

  • Anonymous

    Classic Ryan. I love it!

  • cheeseplatter

    1. i just met you
    2. this is crazy
    3. it’s hard to look right at you bb
    4. all the other boys try to chase me
    5. before you came into my life i missed you so bad
    6. so bad
    7. so bad
    8. so so bad

  • Tammy

    How about you text me, maybe? Because phone calls are really confrontational and, seriously, what decade do we live in?

  • Alvarez315

    im so there for you for #5. ill get really drunk and puke with you so you dont feel bad.

  • http://artfeedsmia.blogspot.com/ mia nguyen

    We’re with you on all of these tips.

  • http://twitter.com/tipzstamatic Tipz

    LOL on the pad thai peanuts!

  • Guest

    #5 wow.. hit home. weirdly glad im not the only one.

  • Same Guest

    ^ #4. I meant #4 lol.

  • http://jenniferlua.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/im-not-dead/ i’m not dead!!! « Jennifer

    […] 8 reasons why you should call me maybe […]

  • Olivia

    LOVE IT. Especially 8 <3

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/5-things-you-arent-allowed-to-do-if-you-have-a-crush-on-someone/ 5 Things You Aren’t Allowed To Do If You Have A Crush On Someone | Thought Catalog

    […] really don’t understand how “Call Me Maybe” ended up being such a hit song, considering everyone is deathly afraid of using the phone. We […]

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/12/5-things-you-aren%e2%80%99t-allowed-to-do-if-you-have-a-crush-on-someone/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    […] really don’t understand how “Call Me Maybe” ended up being such a hit song, considering everyone is deathly afraid of using the phone. We […]

  • Thought Catalog

    Reblogged this on Sins, Shoes & Secrets of Sarah and commented:
    Its like they stole the thoughts clean out of my head…. Ehem future husband… I gave you my number… call me!

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