Ways The Internet Can Hurt Your Feelings

Someone you were once close with unfollows you on Twitter

So I’m gonna just be real with y’all for a minute. Last night I found out that the boy I lost my virginity to unfollowed me on Twitter. (Whoa. That was one of the most embarrassing sentences I’ve ever typed. Apologizes to myself.) To be fair, we’re not exactly besties anymore but it still felt like a punch to the stomach. Because when you unfollow someone, you’re basically saying “Yo, I would prefer it if you didn’t exist.” It’s practically the equivalent of burning someone’s house down. So yeah, it really hurt my feelings. I debated texting him and being like “Um, you unfollowed me on Twitter? I knew we had issues but DAMN BOI.” But I decided against it because I still have some sliver of self-respect hiding inside my body somewhere. (Oh wait, no I don’t because I’m writing about it here…)

The funny thing about all of this is that I totally get why he unfollowed me. Our friendship ended on bad terms and he has a right to not read my tweets about getting drunk and Googling the Olsen twins. But the reality is that it’s taboo these days to openly delete people from your life. Because of the Internet, we’re forced to keep tabs on everyone, which definitely isn’t healthy. Some people need to be purged from your life and there’s no shame in that. Back in the day, you just weren’t so aware of it. You’d call their house line a few times and if they didn’t respond, you got the memo. You moved on. Now we no longer have that luxury so we’ve all just become a bundle of raw nerves that get upset at every little thing.

Pictures of your friends hanging out without you pop up on Facebook

Fear Of Missing Out is a disease that’s quickly becoming an epidemic. I’m not sure if it existed before the Internet though. God, I long for the days when ignorance was truly an option. Like people would hang out without you all the time but how the hell would you ever know about it? Unless they called you during the hangout (which actually did happen to me a few times. Middle schoolers are the legit spawn of Satan), you would never know. And if you don’t know that everyone is hanging out with you, are they REALLY even hanging out? #deepthoughts

The moment you realize your ex is sleeping with someone new

My favorite/ least favorite thing about the Internet is being able to track people’s relationships and know when they start sleeping together. It usually starts with a coy comment from someone you’ve never heard of before on your ex’s Facebook wall. You think to yourself, “Who the hell is this person?! I’ve never heard their name mentioned before. And I knew everyone!” Then you lurk their page and discover you have two mutual friends: your ex and your ex’s best friend. Uh oh. This doesn’t look good. Then the comments get more and more frequent, occasionally referencing some event that happened between the two the other night. Then the next phase begins: pictures! Yes. Photos of them drunk and being affectionate with each other start to appear. Yep, they’re definitely screwing. Facebook photos are their coming out party, the precursor to the relationship status change. It’s official: your ex is dating someone else. Commence feelings of crappiness now. TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

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  • http://twitter.com/annie_roo annie

    I recently unfollowed my ex on Twitter. I regret nothing.

    • Anonymous

      same, and I got the “wow, you unfollowed me?” text message.

      • Asdf

        I can’t believe this really happens in the real world. I always read about it happening, but it always seems like some mystical world of theory and spice. Incredible.

      • Anonymous

         yea i didn’t know it existed either until then,

  • Shanakn

    Spot on, per ushe.

    • http://mason-jar-memories.blogspot.com/ Grace Elizabeth

      Thank you, for finally clarifying how to spell “ushe”.
      I’ve only said it aloud until now ^^

  • https://twitter.com/#!/ZachAmes macgyver51

    You forgot to add the rest of the title. “Ways the Internet Can Hurt Your Feelings If You’re 13.”

    • Ryan O'Connell

      that hurts my feelings.

    • Iamshakingmyfingeratyou

      Rude. 

  • Jb

    That last one was straight from the inside of my head.

  • Lakshitha Ramesh

    Ah, a fellow victim. 

  • anonymous

    The unfollowing on Twitter thing happened to me recently — not from an ex, but a person I had a weird thing with that I thought, at the very least, respected me as a person. It didn’t take long for me to realize that them unfollowing me was a blessing. Why should I get upset over someone who is too cowardly to tell me to my face why they dislike me? Not the kind of person I would ever want in my life. Bye. 

    • Guest

      I recently unfollowed someone that I REALLY like (and have liked for too long!), but I just didn’t think it was healthy for me to be reading all of his thoughts. So, I unfollowed, not because I dislike him, but because I wanted to think of him less often! Maybe that’s what happened with your Weird Thing Friend. :)  

  • http://mason-jar-memories.blogspot.com/ Grace Elizabeth

    Ah, so true. Not mentioned: When a random aquaintence of yours blocks you on Facebook. Not just defriends, but blocks. And you can’t message them to ask why without sounding crazy desperate.

    *le sigh*.

    • Anonymous

      In my experience, anyone who blocks you either has a really “good” reason (as in you had some sort of romantic/intense relationship of some kind that may have ended badly) or, if they don’t because they are in fact a random acquaintance, then screw em. Who needs that? Not me! Not you!

    • Anonymous

       I unfriended someone who messaged me to say “what I do?!?!??!” but must have blocked me because I couldn’t reply.

      If you’re reading this Al, we’ve never met, I only knew you through one person and a  Facebook group you run that grossed me out. I think you’ll be fine without me.

  • fenestella

    PREACH, Ryan. PREACH. 

  • M.J. Corey

    Really good point in the first paragraph, never even thought of this. We’re so used to innately knowing everyone’s shit all the time that when someone removes themselves from your orb and the knowledge we took for granted gets snatched away- we freak out. Before Facebook we naturally had thick skins – literally thanks to the limitation of only connecting through phones and eventually text messages. And the rejection was less direct, being ignored via phone can only sting so much. This has a cute title, but is a kind of profound commentary on the cultural influence of Facebook, if you think about it. 

  • http://tekniklr.com Teri

    I unfollow people I like on twitter all the time. Just because I like someone, and enjoy hanging out with them, doesn’t mean I find their 20 tweets an hour clogging up my timeline worthwhile.

    • Nishant

      Had to do the same thing for the same reason to Neil Gaiman. :/ Man, that guy is NON-STOP on twitter!

      • beatrice

        exactly why I unfollowed him a year ago.

  • A-W

    Limited Facebook profile. Ouch.

    • LP

      A guy I was seeing a couple years ago put me on limited so I wouldn’t see that he was in a relationship. Same thing happened again a year later but with a different guy. Worst feeling ever.

  • Guest

    Gee.  I thought the internet hurt my feelings when a sexually abusive adult from my adolescence tracked me down using people finder software (while i was in my late twenties) to “apologize” ‘n’ ask to meet up to “discuss things.” I was so wrong.  True internet feeling hurt is what happens to 25 year old boys who act like 13 year old girls in their vapid attempts to record every feeling, thought and acknowledgement on social networking sites.  Have an interior, get a clue and stop living your life in public.  The public isn’t worth your time anymore than you are worth theirs.

     

  • Anonymous

    FOMO. 

    • http://twitter.com/rachelisasmith Rachel N. Smith

      among my friends we call it ATMS “Afraid to miss something.”

  • http://twitter.com/rachelisasmith Rachel N. Smith

    i have unfollowed people for reasons totally unrelated to whether or not i like them.  For instance, I unfollowed a friend who’s twitter is always SUPER political.  I have unfollowed others for similar reasons, like only ever tweeting about how drunk they are, or just being a TOTALLY different person on twitter. I guess I never saw it as offensive before, but perhaps i should start telling them “it’s not you, I just don’t like to get bummed out by political tweets?” Oh, 2012. 

  • Guest

    when you get blocked from your ex on instagram and then unblocked weeks later -__- 

  • melancholik

    Haha. So true!

  • ks

    My boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s best friend added me to Facebook and put me 0n Limited Profile so she can creep me. Instead of giving her the satisfaction of a reciprocal block, those girls can just see how great I am and how much better off he is now. ;)

    • Guest

      “my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s best friend”

      it took me like 10 minutes to understand that.

  • Guest

    I’ve been blocked by the ex and his friends on twitter and instagram…It’s a good thing though, all ties need to be cut…

  • Tin

    I want to unfollow my supposed BFF because she’s too busy to hang out with me but always tweets she’s hanging out with her other friends. I’m ashamed to admit it hurts me but it really does!

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