Someone you were once close with unfollows you on Twitter
So I’m gonna just be real with y’all for a minute. Last night I found out that the boy I lost my virginity to unfollowed me on Twitter. (Whoa. That was one of the most embarrassing sentences I’ve ever typed. Apologizes to myself.) To be fair, we’re not exactly besties anymore but it still felt like a punch to the stomach. Because when you unfollow someone, you’re basically saying “Yo, I would prefer it if you didn’t exist.” It’s practically the equivalent of burning someone’s house down. So yeah, it really hurt my feelings. I debated texting him and being like “Um, you unfollowed me on Twitter? I knew we had issues but DAMN BOI.” But I decided against it because I still have some sliver of self-respect hiding inside my body somewhere. (Oh wait, no I don’t because I’m writing about it here…)
The funny thing about all of this is that I totally get why he unfollowed me. Our friendship ended on bad terms and he has a right to not read my tweets about getting drunk and Googling the Olsen twins. But the reality is that it’s taboo these days to openly delete people from your life. Because of the Internet, we’re forced to keep tabs on everyone, which definitely isn’t healthy. Some people need to be purged from your life and there’s no shame in that. Back in the day, you just weren’t so aware of it. You’d call their house line a few times and if they didn’t respond, you got the memo. You moved on. Now we no longer have that luxury so we’ve all just become a bundle of raw nerves that get upset at every little thing.
Pictures of your friends hanging out without you pop up on Facebook
Fear Of Missing Out is a disease that’s quickly becoming an epidemic. I’m not sure if it existed before the Internet though. God, I long for the days when ignorance was truly an option. Like people would hang out without you all the time but how the hell would you ever know about it? Unless they called you during the hangout (which actually did happen to me a few times. Middle schoolers are the legit spawn of Satan), you would never know. And if you don’t know that everyone is hanging out with you, are they REALLY even hanging out? #deepthoughts
The moment you realize your ex is sleeping with someone new
My favorite/ least favorite thing about the Internet is being able to track people’s relationships and know when they start sleeping together. It usually starts with a coy comment from someone you’ve never heard of before on your ex’s Facebook wall. You think to yourself, “Who the hell is this person?! I’ve never heard their name mentioned before. And I knew everyone!” Then you lurk their page and discover you have two mutual friends: your ex and your ex’s best friend. Uh oh. This doesn’t look good. Then the comments get more and more frequent, occasionally referencing some event that happened between the two the other night. Then the next phase begins: pictures! Yes. Photos of them drunk and being affectionate with each other start to appear. Yep, they’re definitely screwing. Facebook photos are their coming out party, the precursor to the relationship status change. It’s official: your ex is dating someone else. Commence feelings of crappiness now.