Why We Still Care About Lindsay Lohan

I know Lindsay Lohan. Well, actually I don’t. But I know the type. Lindsay Lohan is the girl who comes to your party, does all your coke, screws your boyfriend, and leaves your house in shambles. Yet somehow after all is said and done, you’re still like “Wait, when can I see you again?” You hate her for the things she does but you’re still inexplicably drawn to her. Why? Because she’s exciting. Because she doesn’t quite value her life as much as you do, so she’s capable of doing stuff you only dream about. It’s fun to see her light the match because you never could.

I didn’t want to see Lindsay Lohan tank on SNL. Like (mostly) everybody else, I wanted to see her triumph and remind everyone why we’re still talking about her, even though she hasn’t made a decent film since 2006. That’s the funny thing about Lindsay. She only really had it together for two or three years. The movies she made as a child notwithstanding, she only was known as an actress with a capital A for a relatively short period of time. She’s been a mess more often than not, which is why it’s so fascinating that we still care.

We care about Lindsay Lohan in a way that we will never care about Emma Stone. Despite having taken Lindsay’s place while the star was drying out in one of her numerous rehab stays, Stone doesn’t have the darkness that Lindsay has that makes her so compelling to watch. Lindsay takes her messed up childhood, her drug and alcohol use, and her violent relationships and transfers all of it into her performances. It seems like in order to be an actor, you have to have some demons. Otherwise, why would you want to act? Why would you want to be someone else for a living if you weren’t trying to run away from yourself a little bit? (Obviously there are exceptions to this. However, the actors that we seem to embrace the most are the ones who seem a bit broken.)

Lindsay bombed on SNL because she wasn’t ready. I mean, don’t you think this comeback she’s embarking on is sort of a joke? All it took was posing nude for Playboy for America to think that  she was on the road to recovery. It’s like we were writing the script of her life for her. We were tired of delighting in her downfall so, as a culture, we just decided to forgive her. One photo shoot and it was done. The next act had started. Lindsay was on the mend!

Except she isn’t. Lindsay might be completing her community service on time and making her judge happy, but she is not sober by any means. Last week, when she was interviewed by Matt Lauer for the Today show, she proclaimed to the world that she was clean and sober. When asked for how long, however, she got visibly uncomfortable and replied, “Um, it’s been awhile. It’s been… a long time.” Yeah, no, that’s not how sobriety works. If she was working a program, she would know the exact number of days she’s been sober. She might’ve slowed her roll but she hasn’t left those wild days behind. Also hilarious: Lindsay told Matt Lauer she hasn’t gone out in a few months, even though paparazzi pictures indicate otherwise.

We’re rushing her. We want her to be okay again because America LOVES a comeback but as evidenced on SNL, she’s not ready. She still has to hit some kind of a bottom and we need to let her. SO JUST BACK UP EVERYONE! I don’t care about a lot of celebrities but I do care about Lindsay. Maybe it’s because I feel partially responsible for her downfall. Every time I click on a picture of her falling down wasted, I feel like I’m fueling her addiction rather than helping. God forbid if she ever did die, I would feel like I had blood on my hands. Of course, maybe this is me being too sensitive. Maybe the trajectory of her life has nothing to do with me or the American public. Regardless, I still want her to get better. And I’m not going to pretend that she’s sober and together when she’s clearly not. TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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  • Anonymous

    Totally. Love you LiLo. As a feminist, my friends always question this love. To which I say, “if you developed a drug problem, I would still love you.” After which my friends are typically offended by their ranking next to a celebrity I do not actually know. 

  • http://molokovellocet.tumblr.com/ -w-

    How does her face shape change every damn day?!

    • Herman

      Coke bloat

      • Heather

        Coke makes ur face bloat?

  • http://twitter.com/tannnyaya Tanya Salyers

    I agree with all of this, everything seems forced.

  • Erin

    It reminds me of the first Britney Spears “comeback.” MTV gave her a million awards for “Piece of Me” and tried to make everyone believe she was OK, but she wasn’t really back until “Womanizer.”

  • Anonymous

    I love Lindsey Lohan. And I still want to hit that, I don’t care if she looks like she’s 46 now. Judge me, motherfuckers!

  • Islndbks

    As soon as she’s ready I’m goig to accept LiLo as recovered with open arms. Personally, if she appeared in a 3rd remake of Parent Trap as the British mother, I’d throw her a welcome home party.

  • Andrew

    we care about her because the Parent Trap FUCKING RULES.

  • Joy Jalapit

    Waste of totally good TC real estate. Please stop perpetuating this whole Lohan business.  There are better things to write about.

  • macgyver51

    You know what’s really awesome? Books, that’s what.

    • http://twitter.com/sarahannelloyd Sarah Anne Lloyd

      Are these things mutually exclusive?

      • macgyver51

         For the most part, absolutely. I was referring to the lack of intelligence that usually comes with keeping up with such trivial topics. I should have known that being so subtle would breed confusion.

      • Nishant

        well said. trivial topics!

      • Kate

        You sound really fun.

      • macgyver51

         Standing around watching a car wreck is fun? I prefer good times and conversation with good friends.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VYDVROKY4PUBOKUHB3QF42FH2Y Paul S

    “Lindsay bombed on SNL because she wasn’t ready. ”
    I’m no fan of Lohan, but she did fine with what she was given – it was the material that was given to her that was awful and bombed, not her.

  • Age

    I’m thinking she should make a comeback in a Showgirls sequel. Elizabeth Berkley could reprise her role as Nomi Malone and Lindsay can play her even more f*cked up daughter. Hollywood gold!!

  • Jesus

    You are wrong, little boy. We don’t care about her.

  • Emily O'Donnell

    Uh, in what performances exactly did Lindsay channel her ‘messed up childhood, drug and alcohol abuse and violent relationships’? She hasn’t done a movie in years. I can’t really get on board with the random Emma Stone bashing either, just because the girl has it together doesn’t mean she’s a bad actress, or that she should be unnecessarily compared to Lindsay just because she’s a fellow redhead.

    I still hold out hope that Lindsay will make a comeback because I did enjoy a lot of her performances when she was younger and thought she had a lot of talent that has now gotten lost and wasted due to her addictive behavior and incredibly dysfunctional family.

    • Guestropod

      duh, in the 2000 TV movie Life-Size

  • http://twitter.com/_nickk Nick Morrow

    i’m slightly starting to organize people’s opinions of drug addiction in a pre-Whitney’s-death and post-Whitney’s-death world, and this: 

    “maybe it’s because I feel partially responsible for her downfall. Every time I click on a picture of her falling down wasted, I feel like I’m fueling her addiction rather than helping. God forbid if she ever did die, I would feel like I had blood on my hands.”

    definitely falls in the latter category. 

  • Hmmm

    I wonder why gay men love to idolize mildly talented train wrecks.

  • laura palmer

    Okay, Lindsay’s performances are not that compelling. She’s a mediocre actress at best. Sure, she was good in Mean Girls for her age, but her acting abilities, like her maturity, have been stunted ever since those Mean Girls days. Her problem, among many, is she’s expecting to suddenly bounce back and be this Oscar-winning actress, even though her acting is still on par with that of her Mean Girls days. Nothing great, merely adequate. I think she just needs to forget about Hollywood, fame, Oscars, etc. and duck out of the scene, live life under the radar, for a few years and work on her acting chops. Then, in true Robert Downey Jr. fashion, make a real come back and do some quality work. I don’t know though, I don’t think she has her personal problems under control or the work ethic to do that. 

    …Yeah, I’ve thought about this a lot. 

    • beatrice

      ” Then, in true Robert Downey Jr. fashion, make a real come back and do some quality work. ” 
      Well said, well said. 

    • Nishant

      i agree with you. but wow, that’s really a lot of expectations you have of her. i find it a bit incredible that you seriously think she gives a damn about acting chops. she makes a lot of money, has attention all the time irrespective of acting potential or serious, committed work. why would she change?

      • laura palmer

        The only reason I say that is because in basically every interview she talks about how she wants to win an Oscar by the time she’s 30. She said it again just last week in an interview with Matt Lauer. You don’t get an Oscar without acting chops. But like I said before, I don’t think she’s committed enough to work towards that, because you’re right, she does have money and attention for doing nothing.

  • http://twitter.com/AFDex16 Tony F.

    as a man who had many a jerkoff session to LL in her Mean Girls and Freaky Friday days, I hope for the same thing too.

  • Nishant

    “It seems like in order to be an actor, you have to have some demons.”
    Considering her age, I would have to say that most of these demons are pretense and fake. The American media creates the celebrities and discards them, people who have done nothing nor will do anything truly great or substantial. How are we giving so much credit to such a non-descript actor, a ridiculous person with no substance of any sort? 

    Is there really no one better to idolize and follow on twitter and generally care about?

  • Tonytony

    LINDSAYYYY! GOD LOVE YA!!!!

  • Pickle430

    I still want to titty fuk her though :-/

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