Thought Catalog

How To Have The Best Summer Ever

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Be outside as much as possible. During the summer months, you should avoid the indoors. They’re the enemy. They’re the thing that’s going to make you insta-depressed. If you work in an office, take your lunch break outside in the park. Or take a bulldozer to your building so you can have a million dollar view!

Listen to Top 40 Songs exclusively. Burn your Animal Grizzly Bear Collective crap and turn up Justin Timberlake. Turn it up loud! There’s no shame in the top 40 game. Summer is a light, frilly season. Just like a pop song. There’s no room for moody indie music. (This is coming from someone who ONLY listens to moody indie music.)

If you’re single, make out with as many people as possible. Make out with them at rooftop barbecues, on stoops, in parks, in a pool. Basically anywhere that’s outside. Avoid indoors because that could lead to sex and sex in the summertime is something I’m #NotClearOn. I mean, sure it can be amazing but it can also be sweaty and awkward and…slimy. Summertime sex is not for the faint of heart. I suggest only doing it with people you want to be long-term with.

Be a social butterfly. Go to every rooftop party you get invited to. Parties get 44% better if they’re on a rooftop and it’s warm out. That’s pretty much a fact. I could get invited to a party full of Mormon’s in Fresno and if the space was nice and it was warm enough, I could still get down and have a good time.

Drink margaritas, sangria, white wine spritzers (just like Drake!), and any cocktail that has watermelon in it. Avoid whiskey. Drink these summertime delights on a patio somewhere with the sun shining bright down on you. Be with your friends for five hours, drinking and laughing, losing track of time. Even if you’re too old to have a proper summer break, you can still make the summer into your own three month mini-vacay. Summer is a magical season with healing powers. You could be working ten hours a day but the second you leave, the weather and mood zaps you back to life. Everything feels more vibrant and alive. Oh god, I’m getting goosebumps just blogging about it.

Eat healthy. This isn’t something you even have to consciously work on. The warm weather makes you naturally crave salads, fruits, and vegetables. Comfort food sounds…uncomfortable. There’s nothing worse than walking around with a food baby in 90-degree weather. You’re barely clothed and you feel your tummy start to poke out of your tank top. Ugh.

Smell like sunscreen all the time. Get one gnarly sunburn. Spend an afternoon walking 90 blocks all by yourself with your headphones blasting. Embrace summer like you would with a lover. Call summer back, give it amazing head. Ride it till it breaks.

Have at least one night when you don’t go to bed till 6am. Watch the sun rise from a rooftop in your shorts and tank top, wasted on drinks or just the summer itself. Never get bored. If you’re bored in the summer, you’re doing something wrong. Most importantly, be sublimely happy. You owe it to yourself and the season. You have all the other times to be sad. Just don’t indulge in it when its 80 degrees out and there’s so much going on that could make you happy. Depression is reserved for winter, okay? TC mark

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    • Alix

      okay, please stop now, ryan o’connell. enough.

      • Ryan O'Connell

        honey????

      • Gary

        Yes, please enough. Your articles used to be good. Now it seems you just churn out bland opinions hour after hour.

        • FU-Gary

          F- you

    • Lauras1689

      I love you, Ryan O’ Connell. If you lived near me, I’m sure we’d be best friends.

      • Neil Kurtz

         He does live near me, but we still aren’t best friends… :-(

    • guest

      This resonated in all the right ways, for once.

    • jasmine

      “call summer back.. give it amazing head.” perfect

    • Emily

      Now I really want it to be warm outside! C’mon sun, I believe in you. I cant wait for this summer :)

    • Guestropod

      but it’s too hot

    • http://twitter.com/KarolineZ Karoline Zacharer

      This post was such a tease on one of the first days where it really feels like spring.  Come on summer and just get here!

    • LeoDDots07

      Perfect description of summer! Can’t wait for it to get here! :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/donald.elder Donald Elder

      This makes me so happy. I would only add to tell all your acquaintances staring now that “it’s going to be a great summer!” They’ll be like, “ok,” for now. But you’re already laying the groundwork.

    • Anonymous

      (1) Ryan, some of us have jobs. 

      (2) eating healthy and drinking alcohol do not go together. 

      • Anna Brozolo

        Fuck employment, it’s SUMMERRRRRRR!

        • h-may

          Are you ten?

      • NICOLE

        you have to eat healthy to make up for all the alcohol calories. 

    • David O'Kuche

      Stopped reading after first sentance, second paragraph. 

      • David O'Kuche

        OK, I read it all, I could not resist. The last paragraph is a win, that’s how you should do it. Get a single joint into the scene and some Boards of Canada and you’ll be all teared up in delight and stuff.

      • Nishant

        oh yes! agreed.

    • Yesspring

      Haha you have such seasonal affective disorder. It was so nice today and I was like “Ryan O’Connell’s definitely going to write something about it”

    • Jenna

      Oh boy, I’m excited. Except I’ll be sweating my balls off to 100 degree weather. But that’s okay! Agua frescas for all!

    • http://twitter.com/herenotlost Lola Li

      Reading this was the worst for someone who lives in the souther hemisphere :(

    • Dmdub16

      This made me so happy :) yes ry OC I will have a fucking great summer!

    • Gary

      Please Thought Catalog, put an end to Ryan O’Connell articles!

      • FU-Gary

        F – you

      • Miss

         Or you could just stop reading them if you don’t enjoy them and let the hundreds of people who do enjoy them be.

    • Colin Crane

      Really dude, 44%? This is the kind of junk that makes me hate a lot of thought catalog articles. Also, I don’t know about other people on here, but a lot of Animal Collective songs hit their prime in summertime. Summertime Clothes? Bluish? Di You See the Words?

      I like a lot of your articles, but this one is junkier than the top-40 songs you want us all to embrace as part of the shallowest, most sex-deprived and unbearable summer I’ve ever heard of.

      • Olive

        So the 44% thing is a joke, and you don’t have to take the music SUGGESTION so personally.

    • beatrice

      I very much liked this, even though I live directly above the equator. But oh wells, the weather does get hotter in the summer. 

    • blorp

      im so exciiitedddddd

    • Sus

      I loved this post. Anything that can literally make me LOL is an A+ in my book, and Ryan never fails. Thanks for keeping me entertained, Ryan!

    • Casey

      Oh man, can I please hang out with you this summer?

    • Blw44

      good rant, except —-get a sunburn—not smart!!!——signed NG(nagging grandma)

    • http://twitter.com/i2uthanne i2uthanne

      How do you know what I’m always thinking about?  (Haters gon’ hate). 

    • http://www.facebook.com/susana.e.mendez Susana Méndez

      Ryan, summer has come early for us in Colorado and so far I have been taking your advice very seriously. I partook in a rooftop get together this weekend, already received my gnarly sunburn and have been listening to the top 40 exclusively. I can already tell, this summer is going to be epic! :)

    • http://twitter.com/gypzAndy AndreaCarmona

      i’m looking forward to summer now! 

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