Mary-Kate Olsen tries to talk about her new film, Beastly, (arguably our generation’s Citizen Kane) but she has trouble stringing together words. My favorite part is when she takes a pregnant pause and says the word, “magicallllllll.” Michelle Tanner, where art thou?
Here’s a video of Mischa Barton behaving erratically and looking STONED AS HELL while she talks about fashion or Darwinism or whatever. Honestly, I can’t tell if she’s coming up or coming down, but even Marisa Cooper would be frightened and say to her, “GET IT TOGETHER, PSYCHO!”
Buzzfeed’s Matt Cherette made this HIGHlarious supercut of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kim Richards acting wasted during a cast trip to Hawaii. Even though Kim recently completed a 30-day treatment at some rehab, she claimed to be totally sober while filming the latest season. This would be somewhat believable if Kim never opened her mouth but, as it happens, the mixture of booze and pills makes her quite chatty. The darkest point of the episode comes when Kim and her drug supplier boyfriend, Ken, have lunch on the patio of their hotel and proceed to talk gibberish. Kim can’t even keep her eyes open as she slurs her nonsensical jokes. Meanwhile, Ken presumably keeps a Pez dispenser of her pills on hand and is ready to feed them to her in a shrimp cocktail. Also, WTF is with all of the weird things Kim is claiming to be this season? First, she called herself an Arabian horse (and then meowed) and now she’s identifying as a marlin fisher? Honey, all you are is a pilled out mess.
Looking emaciated and wobbly, Farrah Fawcett’s interview on David Letterman was downright bizarre. When Letterman asked why she was late, she explained with a confused expression on her face, “So many people…” Later on, she was telling a story about Central Park and had to slap herself in the face just to get herself to focus. Of course it took 2.5 seconds for Letterman to notice that she wasn’t sober and he spent the rest of the interview having a gay ol’ time screwing with her. Funny but also disturbing.
Was this an outtake for Britney Spears and Kevin Federline’s show Chaotic? It’s brilliant! Besides being unable to understand anything Kevin is saying, Spears also deviates into typical stoned behavior by talking about the possibility of time travel. Or, as she so eloquently puts it, “time travel…speed.”
This list would not be complete without a Courtney Love moment. This famous interview from the 90s between Courtney Love and Madonna is amazing. After interrupting a post-VMA chat between Kurt Loder and Madonna by throwing her compact at Madonna’s head, Courtney Love crashes the interview (much to Madonna’s visible dismay) and proceeds to act like a hot mess. The best part is when she falls off her chair and eats crap. God, the world would be so much less interesting without Courtney Love.