Things I Learned This Week From Looking At Facebook And Twitter

People like to get engaged during the holidays. A lot. Then they like to take a picture of their engagement ring and post it on their Facebook with the caption: “I’M ENGAGED!” I always scan the comments to see if someone has the balls to write “Well, that’s a colossal mistake!” but they never do. It’s all just some variation of “OMG! Congrats girlie!” I haven’t done enough investigation into the future husband’s Facebook though. Do they talk about their engagement? Do they post a pic of the engagement ring? Something tells me they just write something like “I’m officially the luckiest guy in the world…” or something. After all, they don’t want to seem too enthused about such a sentimental and expensive gesture.

OMG, people are stoked on 2012. “BRING IT, 2012! KISS MY ASS, 2O11! SCREW 2011!” So many feelings about the end of the year. Apparently, 2011 was a terrible year for everyone??? No one tweets about these things until the very end of the year. Like I thought people were having a good time until they all wrote “SO READY FOR THE NEW YEAR. THIS YEAR JUST NEEDS TO BE DELETED!” Damn, girl. Tell the Internet how you really feel.

People were SO not into New Year’s Eve this year. So much pressure! They just wanted to stay in and wake up in 2o12! Alas, they all succumbed to the holiday and went out. How do I know? Because I read so many tweets about people being hungover. No one moved on New Year’s Day. In fact I think the world died a little bit. Slowly everyone crawled to brunch and live-tweeted their experience. “New Year’s Day brunch with mi boos. So crucial. Going to die now.” And then they crawled into bed together and laid there lifelessly for twelve hours. Those who were brave enough to admit that they had taken drugs the night before admitted to experiencing a comedown.

People don’t want to go back to work/reality! Work sucks. But wait, so do the holidays? I’m confused.

People really got into Downton Abbey this week — a show that I had never heard of but now feel compelled to watch. Is it good?

Things I didn’t see recorded on the Internet: all the sex people had over the holidays, the weird and nuanced feelings people have towards their families over the holidays (you can tweet about needing a break from your family and allude to their dysfunctional behavior but you can’t go into intimate detail), your anxieties about not being where you thought you would be, the amount of food you ACTUALLY ate while at home. TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.


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  • Joyhill09

    See, it more looks like you examined Facebook and twitter for a week and thought to yourself: “Hmm, how can I take all of this obvious trends and then write an article about them as if I’m superior?” This whole thing is a ficking ridiculous ego trip. Get over yourself.

    • Anonymous

      I thought it was quite an amusing and accurate reflection of Holiday Internet Behaviour.

    • Amber

      lol, u mad bro?

    • Tyrone

      fuck da po po

  • arie1281

    I laughed quite hard. So true. ALL of it. I love the last line… “the amount of food you ACTUALLY ate while at home.” I don’t even want to talk about it. hah

  • Bealtaine

    At the risk of sounding hipsterish….I watched Downton before it was cool.It’s a seriously good show not just for period classic junkies like me :)

    • Kt

      Is it bad that I was thinking the same thing when I read the bit about Downton ha ha ha

  • notoriousKAS

    lol – “well that was a colossal mistake” – love it

  • Guest

    Most people who spend time being angry at other peoples happiness are probably just angry at themselves for not having the same happiness in their own lives.  The first paragraph reeks of bitterness.  Why are all engagements “mistakes”?  Who are you to say that when you yourself admit that you know nothing about the future husband or relationship?  Hmm……

    When I see engagements on facebook, I honestly mean congrats when I mean it.  It takes a lot of courage to say “we will be together forever” and make a public announcement about it.  Start being happy for others, and more happiness will come into your life.

    • Tyrone


  • linda

    Oh shit.

  • Linda

    haters gon hate. love you ryan! keep writing

  • eski

    you write great articles

  • Your best friend

    Still discussing about pop issues? Are you trying to hit recognition, advertising buck$ or are you just plain stupid? Try talking about real issues, not about illusions. Pop illusion subjects like these keep everyone out of focus. Focus on the millions having a hard time due to national policies. Do you feel disgusted, uncomfortable or weird reading criticism? Excellent, it just proves a point: you don’t care. Your indifference feeds the injustice we are living, as a whole, as a world.

    Go play with your iPod, it will make you forget and be happy. Momentarily. 

    • A Real Intellectual

      This guy knows what’s up!!!! Would love to read some of his deep thoughts sometime!!

  • Ayanmohamoud

    Downton Abbey is a brilliant show!!! You have to watch it

  • wornwhite

    this was almost exactly my holiday. except i loved 2011. but i did start watching downton abbey?

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