Thought Catalog

Let's Make Some Bad Decisions Tonight

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Let’s make some bad decisions tonight. Let’s take those New Year’s Resolutions we made last week and dunk them in whiskey and use them as a sex blanket. Let’s take back what we said about 2012 getting off to a great start. Let’s dirty up the clean slate the new year has made for us. Come on. Cum. On.

Let’s do all of these things in one day: Eat a giant burrito, text your ex, have sex with your ex, get drunk, and go out. Because guess what? These “clean slates” brought on by the new year are 100% bogus and continually set us up for failure. There’s so much pressure riding on the beginning of a new year and all it does is create anxiety and push you to the brink. People fail to understand that doing “bad things” isn’t really bad at all if it’s done in moderation. Yes, yes, you’ve heard this before. “Do things in moderation,” but it clearly fails to resonate.

We feel so much shame when we do things that are technically bad for us that all it does is create a vortex of guilt and binging. People feel so terrible about getting wasted on a work night that, when they do it, they actually drink to excess, vomit, and call in sick to worK. The fact that it feels forbidden makes people want to do it to excess. Chances are if you just embraced it as a night to make mistakes and shirk responsibility, you probably wouldn’t end up indulging in too much. By removing the stigma, you’ll probably cancel the morning appointment you made with your shame spiral.

Of course, there are such things as actual addictions and unhealthy patterns of behavior that need to be stopped. I’m not talking about those here. You should really go get help for those. What I am talking about are the people who are ruled by their anxieties and swallow themselves in guilt whenever they do something that could be construed as wrong.

Your New Year’s resolutions are jerks. They just highlight your flaws and remind you that you’re not where you should be. But, hi, newsflash, when are we ever where we need to be? What does that even mean? Like the coked out band Oasis once said, just be here now! Where you need to be tonight is going out with your friends and throwing caution to the wind. Say good-bye to your neuroses and anxieties and surrender yourself to a fun night out. Bombshell: 2012 is not going to be the year you magically get your stuff together. Your New Year’s resolutions aren’t going to cause you to have 10,000 epiphanies about how you should live the correct life. You’ll change when you’re ready to change. Usually the changes will be so subtle, you won’t even notice them. You’ll just wake up one day and realize your life is going exactly the way you want.

So go. Go get crazy tonight and resist the feeling of ickiness you have the next morning about drinking too much or eating too much and just be like, “Yeah, I did that. It was cool.” Then move on. Make some bad decisions tonight and blame it all on me, honey. TC mark

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Let's Make Some Bad Decisions Tonight is cataloged in , , , , , ,
  • https://twitter.com/Sonia_Mo Sonia Mo

    Agreed. 

  • future gopher

    I already went to the gym four times and I am going right now even though I’m kind of hung over from bad decisions from last night.  

    • ..well

      um no

      • future gopher

        Make that 6 this week b/c I went today.  I only go because there are sometimes hotties at the gym.  

  • Dj DINGUS

    ANTI-ASCETICISM VIA NIETZSCHE SIMPLIFIED VIA RYAN O’CONNELL

    • guest

      nietzsche’s anti-intoxication though :(

  • Emily

    PROOF READ

  • Maxine

    Precisely what I needed to hear..  

  • http://twitter.com/barrettlane Barrett Lane

    your code is showing #baddecisions

  • Guest

    no. more like..let’s wear a really ugly hipster sweater and let some dude pour vodka into our mouths tonight.

    • Guest

      stfu

  • Banjoparty

    “Let’s take those New Year’s Resolutions we made last week and dunk them in whiskey and use them as a sex blanket.”

    Hooray!

  • LDN

    how dare you belittle Oasis to ‘the coked out band’!

  • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

    I took a roadtrip to NYC today and had Mexican food.   The superior Boston is right around my corner, greasy food makes me sick, and I don’t like being surrounded by hipsters/people far more attractive than I am.  Thus, I guess my decision to go to NY was responsible for many more  bad decisions. 

  • Alice

    this made me feel so much better about my life…I was smiling the whole time I read it 

  • Anonymous

    Let’s go home with a dude I just met at a club and then realize he stole 80 bucks from my wallet, after I’m already out of his place, with no way back in, and no phone number for him (because it was bad sex and he wasn’t as good looking once sober). Happened this week :(

    At least it’s a story?

    • LIFE

      sucks

  • http://unthoughtfulthoughts.wordpress.com/ Samurai

    there’s nothing better than burritos and lots of gaseous sex

  • Anonymous

    Does that mean you’re going to start posting these things in moderation. [Zing!]

  • Emma

    You have no idea how relevant this is right now.

  • m332

    you are the only reason I go on this website…

  • Guest

    “like the coked out band Oasis once said, just be here now!” bahahha

  • http://www.nicholeexplainsitall.com EarthToNichole

    I just ate a giant burrito/got daytime  drunk and now I don’t feel bad about it anymore. About to apply some of those horrendous nail art strips. Will probably feel bad about those.

  • http://twitter.com/LoveandDoubt Samantha

    You’re the best thing on this website, I love all of your posts =]

  • Md Morton86

    ya know, you always fucking hit the nail on the head. thanks for this one.

    i slept w/ my ex on nye, and woke up feeling like absolute stale bread. 

    move on. stare straight – fuck peripherals. 

  • rh218

    I can definitely appreciate this point of view, but that was all me last year. Last year was the only year of my life I went so crazy that I decided to try to get a little healthier, a little happier. I’m sure sex and alcohol all the time, waking up drunk, falling asleep or even blacking out next to a different person every week/night is fun and great. For me it did not do any good. This year my resolutions are in tact: I am eating/living healthier, exercising more, drinking much less, and no drunk sex with randoms. I know this isn’t the path for all, and I completely respect anyone’s decision to do whatever they want with their body; it’s your body. But I think resolutions are helpful and healthful guides for those who truly want to change, or revert to their happier ways of life. 

  • Joop

    probably the last thing i want to do after eating a giant burrito is have sex (with anyone).

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