Questions I Have For Couples Who Are In A “It’s Complicated” Relationship On Facebook

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To anyone who has their relationship status on Facebook as “It’s complicated” please tell me you’re joking. You must be because people do it as a joke all the time. For example, girls are in a “It’s complicated” relationship with their close gay friends on Facebook and it’s sort of funny. Okay, it’s not funny at all, but I at least understand the intention behind it. Gay men and the women who love them do have complicated relationships so, yes, ha ha. Good one, Janelle Jenkins and Dustin “Gliterboy” Starburst from Arizona State University. I see what you did there.

But you might not be in a Will & Grace type of situation. This could be a real relationship that has hit a rough patch and you’ve just decided to be forthcoming about the status of your feelings for one another. What I want to know though is WHY?! Why would anyone in a legitimate relationship be like, “Oh my god! Everything is so confusing between us and we must let Facebook know! Otherwise I would feel like we were living a lie. People deserve to know that our love is complicated. We must alert them to this new development!”

I just don’t understand the motivation behind any of it. If my boyfriend ever tried to “It’s Complicated” me after we had a fight, I would….feel lots of terrible things and want to disappear. The internet has already crapped on the sanctity of a relationship in many ways. We already see too much of people’s most private moments. We’re always one click away from seeing our significant other’s lives before us. But to me, putting “It’s complicated” as a relationship status is the most offensive thing you can do to your BF/GF. It’s so rude and hurtful and it also invites someone as random as your lab partner from back in high school to comment on the change in your relationship. “OMG, you were in a relationship with this person and now it’s complicated?! Eek! Prayin’ 4 u guys!”

The funny thing about all of this is that “It’s Complicated” feels like a redundant option for a relationship status. In case you didn’t already know, being in love with someone is inherently complicated. That’s why there’s no relationship status options like “It’s simple with…” or “It’s breezy with…” I mean, duh. Of course it’s complicated! Why is there an extra need to spell that out? Is it just extra, super duper complicated? Would I not be able to understand it?

So why do some couples choose to put it as their relationship status? What does “It’s complicated” exactly mean to some people? Does it translate to “It’s a long distance relationship and sometimes I’m allowed to dry hump other people at house parties?” Or does it mean “Yo, we kind of hate each other but are too chicken to end it so here’s our status!” Whatever the reason behind it is, I’m here to tell you that it’s stupid. May I suggest just breaking up or keeping your relationship off the internet? Chances are Facebook and the internet in general is what’s contributing to the complication of your relationship. So good luck with being complicated.

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