6. “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
I basically judge songs based on how great they are to drive to because driving music is the absolute best, especially when you grow up in California. I actually first heard “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” in my father’s car and immediately fell in love with the sound and lyrics. “Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain.” So #dark. Was Tom Petty “addicted” to weed or something? I would love to hear the backstory on this.
7. “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac
l usually can’t stand cokeheads (too much bad breath and nonsensical conversations) but I hold a special exception for Stevie Nicks. Her intense coke habit in the ’70s and ’80s probably singlehandedly kept Pablo Escobar in business but it’s cool because she’s clean now (?) and managed to actually make some amazing gems out of that coke haze. “Landslide” became popular in the ’00s though and god damn it if it’s not the most beautiful thing you ever did hear! Every time I listen to it I think to myself, “There’s no way I’m going to tear up his time. NO WAY.” But sure enough, by the time it’s over, I’m silently weeping in my room and thinking about life, death, and that one rumor about Stevie shooting coke up her ass in the old days to get a faster high.
8. “Gimme More” by Britney Spears
I know this sounds terrible but I kind of miss the daze when Britney Spears had a relationship with a creepy paparazzo, was presumably fed horse tranquilizers by her “best friend” Sam Lufti, and liked to drive around Los Angeles wearing a pink wig and talking in a fake British accent. It’s not because I liked it when she was clearly having a psychotic breakdown. I just loved the music she created during that time. I’ve talked about my love for Blackoutbefore and I’ll reiterate it again: It is one of the best pop albums of all time. The opener, “Gimme More” sets the tone with a beat that almost sounds sinister. Britney’s vocals on this track make her sound like a terrifying psycho killer, which I’m apparently really into, and the whole song just sounds creepy but in the best way possible. It’s like she’s saying to the listeners, “The rumors are true y’all! I lost my damn mind. Now have fun dancing to the sounds of my psychosis!” I will, Britney. I’ll have a lot of fun.
9.”Under Pressure” Queen & David Bowie
It’s really too bad that no one likes “Under Pressure” by Queen and David Bowie. It’s tragic actually. Whenever I request it at a bar or a club, the DJ laughs in my face and tells me, “If I played that song, it would incite a riot. People would try to burn the place down. That’s how much they hate it!” I guess I understand why it’s the most loathed song in America. It’s too joyous! Just hearing it causes people to involuntarily smile and that’s not what people need these days. I stand by my love for it though. I don’t care if it alienates me from my friends, I’m obsessed!