How To Have Fun With Your Friends Without Blowing Your Paycheck

1. Don’t go outside, you psycho!

You know what costs money? Leaving your apartment. Seriously. Every step you take outside of someone’s apartment deletes $20 from your wallet. You can spend $150 on a night out without ever realizing it. The next morning, you wake up to an empty wallet and honesty think for a split second that you’ve been robbed. You call your friends in a panic and say to them, “OMG, I’ve been pickpocketed! We must catch the thief at once!” And to a certain extent, you’d be right. The two glasses of wine you had at dinner stole from your wallet, the cab ride to and from da club stole some money, and the 3 a.m. pizza run just robbed you blind. Honestly, I don’t know why we think spending a lot of money on going places will equal a fun night. Staying in with a small group of friends can actually lead to an insane time. Crazy things happen when you’re in a safe space. I’ve had more wild nights on a night that was supposed to be mellow with a friend than I have going on a bar crawl. So if you’re strapped for cash, just invite a few good friends over and prepare for things to get weird.

2. B.Y.O.B. babe!

Say it with me: B.Y.O.B. Learn it and live it, kids. Chances are buying drinks is why you’re constantly scrambling for your credit card at the end of the month. Drinks may seem cheap initially but they add up quick. Next time you wanna get cray cray, buy your own booze and bring it with you to a restaurant or pour it in a flask. Saying no to a ten dollar cocktail will never have felt so good.

3. Happy hour

If you must spend money on alcohol, go to a great happy hour. Some of them have deals that are too wasted to be true, so do some research! Another plus side about happy hour is that you’re usually drunk by 9 p.m. and just want to go home and sleep, which is free!

4. Whatever you do, say NO to attending the birthday dinner

I don’t care if it’s your BFF’s birthday, under no circumstances should someone on a budget attend a birthday dinner. They’re designed to actually delete all of the money from your paycheck. You might as well give up your wallet the second you enter the restaurant and just be surprised by how much everything cost later. Birthday dinners are an evil insidious invention brought to us by rich people. I know we want to feel grown up and go drink wine and eat truffle mac and cheese with our friends but don’t get it twisted honey. We have no BUSINESS being near truffle mac and cheese. Get some canned foods and call it a day.

5. Go to a park, you dirty hippie!

Parks are free. Parks are pretty. You can lie in them for hours for free.

6. Hang out with a friend who will pay for things

Ok, this one is sort of evil. Make sure you’re genuinely friends with this person before you take advantage of their generosity. And to pay them back — paint them a picture or something. Rich people LOVE homemade gifts. They think they’re so cute and precious.

7. Be a girl

Girls get a lot of things for free. (PS. That stuff isn’t free. It comes at the price of your self-respect but, whatevs, let’s do sake bombs! LOL!) When I went to Las Vegas with my girlfriends, I was shocked by how frequently I was punished for being a male. Getting into clubs cost them nothing while I had to fork over thirty bucks. TC mark

image – © Jitalia17

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.


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  • Gregory Costa

    Break out Apples to Apples.

  • Aladin Sane

    Add one more: SAY NO TO DRUGS. Nothing like a 20 bag of blow to make you think your ATM card is magic.

  • lalala

    we do lots of of drinking at parking lots! 

    • Gregory Costa

       Wait…why parking lots? 

  • Sarah

    Now you need to write an article about how to date a new boyfriend on the cheap.

  • Sophia

    I have a question: BYOs are super super common here in Philadelphia, but before moving here I had never heard of that being acceptable. Is that really a common thing – outright bringing bottles of alcohol to restaurants?

    • EarthToNichole

      no. hence the flask.

    • Michael Koh

      only in participating restaurants, for more information, just visit a loc

    • Tanya Salyers

      nooo, rock a flask and covertly pour it into your virgin fruity drink under your table when no one is looking!

    • beatrice

      yes it is. Some restaurants may charge for corkage though, if it’s wine

  • EarthToNichole

    And when you skip the birthday dinner your friend will get all pass agress. and start to hate you, so you end up not having to buy them a birthday present. More savings!

  • Missy Rojas

    Love it!

  • Rishtopher

    #4 is very true. Even when I’m not exactly on a budget, I always walk away contemplating if I should sell some of my clothes to make up for the cash I burnt through. 

  • Soraya

    lesson: don’t have friends, save money!

  • future gopher

    What is money? It’s just paper; fiat in essence.  But friends?  You can never have enough!!

  • mya

    Had to go to a friend’s birthday party once when I was unemployeed…ended up getting just the hummus.

  • Marcellis C.

    I’ve always felt this way about birthday dinners.

  • Gee

    I’ve signed up!

  • Ian

    Good article! Perhaps the most important thing is to make friends who feel the same way as you. If you’re the only one who wants/needs to save money, you’ll spend many an evening alone.

  • Dsteenjr

    your gay the park would be stepping outside my apartment and i wouldnt spend $20

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