10 Things That Have Lasted Longer Than Kim Kardashian’s Marriage

Surprise, surprise! Kim Kardashian has punk’d America by filing for divorce from her husband, Kris Humphries, after a mere 72 days. What a great prank, Kim! I just hope that whoever bought you the $72,000 coffee pot on your wedding registry isn’t too mad! To give you an idea of just how short 72 days is, here’s a number of things that have lasted longer. Warning: I’m terrible at simple addition so some of these might not add up right. What? I’M CREATIVE.

1. The filming of Titanic lasted 160 days. That’s 88 days longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage. By the way, did you know that the Titanic set  was so intense and horrible that an angry crew member laced everyone’s clam chowder with PCP? 50 people were sent to the hospital and Bill Paxton felt “listless” for two weeks afterwards. James Cameron managed to vomit before the drug could take hold, much to the chagrin of the crew members, I’m sure.

2. Lindsay Lohan has spent more time in various rehab centers than Kim has as a married woman. The timeline for her stays in rehab go something like this: In 2007, Lindsay Lohan entered Wonderland and completed a 30-day program. A few months later, she received a DUI after chasing her assistant’s mother through Santa Monica and entered Promises rehab for 45 days. Or wait, maybe she chased her assistant’s mother the third time she went to rehab? Anyway, shortly after she left Promises, she received ANOTHER DUI and went to rehab for the third time for two months at Cirque Lodge in Utah. So just to refresh your memory, Lohan has been to rehab three times in less than a year. In 2010, Lindsay entered court-mandated rehab at UCLA and stayed 24 days. Shortly after that, she was ordered back into rehab for three months at Betty Ford Center. Ready to add that up? Lindsay Lohan has spent an approximate 249 days in rehab. That’s almost a year of her life since 2007. That’s three and a half Kim Kardashian and Kim Humphries marriages.

3. Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley’s marriage lasted longer than Kim Kardashian’s by 35 days. Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney were married for 225 days before Zellweger ended it and cited ‘fraud’ as the reason. A fraudulent marriage somehow lasted longer than one that was televised for TV. Interesting. Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock’s marriage surpassed Kim’s as did Drew Barrymore’s and Tom Green’s. The only marriage that beat Kim’s was Jason Alexander’s and Britney Spears’, which lasted for only 55 hours AKA enough time for the coke and Ecstasy to wear off.

4. Elizabeth Smart went missing for nine months, nearly four times the length of Kim’s marriage. That means Elizabeth Smart survived in captivity with psycho sexual abusers longer than Kim stayed married to Kris.

5. Trudie Styler and Sting are famous practitioners of tantric sex. It is reported that they have had orgasms that have lasted longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage.

6. In 1995, Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men’s song “One Sweet Day” spent 16 weeks at number one on the Billboard Music Charts. That’s almost double the time Kim Kardashian spent married to Kris Humphries. 72 not-so-sweet days…

7.Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil spent 216 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller List. That’s a lot longer than 72 days.

8.Kourtney Kardashian’s son, Mason, was born on December 14, 2009, which makes him almost two years old. Kim would have to get married, like, 8 times for 72 days each to match Mason’s age.

9. This one time I dated a guy I had nothing in common with for four months because it was winter and I didn’t want to be cold at night. We were together longer than Kim and Kris. What?

10. This one time I bleached my hair in the 7th grade so I could look more like Lil’ Kim. It lasted a year, which is like Kim’s marriage times five. TC mark

image – toglenn

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

More From Thought Catalog

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2311203 Kevin Pritchard

    Who is 
    Kim Kardashian?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1552230509 Blake Austin

      Some say she’s a business woman. Some say she’s a TV star. I’m inclined to believe she doesn’t really exist at all – that our collective imagination created her as a symbol of greed. Nobody knows for sure. One thing is certain though; she is an embarrassment. 

  • Steve
    • Rucker Manley

      You, Ryan, and everyone on Twitter.

  • http://twitter.com/NIKO93 Alex Nikolov

    “10. This one time I bleached my hair in the 7th grade so I could look more like Lil’ Kim.” Up until this point I thought I was reading Stephanie Georgopulos. Then it clicked.

    • http://omgstephlol.tumblr.com Stephanie Georgopulos


  • http://hotfemmeinthecity.wordpress.com/ natasia

    #4 makes me really sad. Now we’re really getting #dark. 

  • Mashka
  • Tam

    minor typo in #2 – That’s three and a half Kim Kardashian and Kim Humphries marriages.

  • Metschick15

    this list was so lame… TONS of things last longer than 72 days as they should… the filming of titanic? i thought it might have at least taken a year…  this is soooo stupid in comparison to anything… way to waste our time and give Kim K. a bigger name than she already has.

    • https://twitter.com/iamthepuddles Jordana Bevan

      no. YOU wasted your time.

    • Sarah

      UM. hello, that’s what makes it funny!  that you could take almost anything and comparatively, it’s probably lasted longer than that marriage. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1074069736 Consuelo María Lucero

    Number Three was lifted I bet straight from TIME Magazine’s Top Ten Celebrity Marriages thing. Not that I’d sue dear Ryan, because I don’t really care that much about plagiarism, unless someone plagiarized something I wrote and/or published. ;) 

    • http://twitter.com/mung_beans Mung Beans


  • Brandon h

    I’m just relieved I am no longer distantly related to her (my last name is Humphries)

  • http://twitter.com/keithpinthecity Keith Pence

    I honestly couldn’t stay married to Kris Humphries for more than 72 days.  That’s also because I couldn’t even be around him for more than 10 minutes before punching him in the face.

    • Marty

      it depends on whether he is hung or not…..if not, i would not have made it a week

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=796930187 Arushi Khosla

      Because Kim Kardashian is too intellectual to deal with the guy’s insipidness obviously. 

  • Deirdree_lynn

    this is great

  • Anonymous

    @7621fbef26334097c79c20fb4b957b66:disqus ,….…I can’t beleive…..My friend’s sister makes 96/hr on the internet. She has been unemployed for 10 months but last month her income was 8253 USD just working on the PC for a few hours. Go to this web site,……..http://alturl.com/yubgi

  • djackz

    ‎#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage = The wedding fairytale show on E! . . lolz


    Why does this read exactly like the ravings of the 9-year old from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close?

  • http://thebackgroundstory.wordpress.com/ The Background Story

    I guess it’s true, then. She wanted the wedding but not the marriage. Well, she could have just married herself if she was so keen on getting a big production number.



  • Anonymous
  • Wpsn

    How about a yeast infection…..lasts a lot longer than 72 days

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/discussion-is-monogamy-a-lost-cause/ Discussion: Is Monogamy A Lost Cause? | Thought Catalog

    […] biology, soaring divorce rates, and highly publicized 72-day marriages, some of us still believe in “everlasting love.” I do, for the most part. I’m […]

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/09/discussion-is-monogamy-a-lost-cause/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    […] biology, soaring divorce rates, and highly publicized 72-day marriages, some of us still believe in “everlasting love.” I do, for the most part. I’m […]

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/6-things-that-are-not-worth-your-jealousy/ 6 Things That Are Not Worth Your Jealousy | Thought Catalog

    […] up” icons for some time now, we all occasionally succumb to its absurdity. But seriously, Kim Kardashian has like eight trillion Twitter followers — and do you really want to be Kim Kardashian? The […]

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/10/6-things-that-are-not-worth-your-jealousy-2/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    […] up” icons for some time now, we all occasionally succumb to its absurdity. But seriously, Kim Kardashian has like eight trillion Twitter followers — and do you really want to be Kim Kardashian? The […]

  • http://tanniadominguez.wordpress.com/2012/12/06/marriage-is-a-sacred-institution/ Marriage is a SACRED Institution « tanniadominguez

    […] she approve of Kim Kardashian’s (or most celebrities actually) marriages that last for a few days or even a few hours in some […]

  • http://tastyliaison.com/2012/10/04/how-to-more-than-survive-your-first-year-of-marriage/ How to (more than) survive your first year of marriage « Tasty Liaison

    […] If the first year of marriage is about adjusting, its no wonder research has shown that marital bliss drops significantly when couples don’t spend enough time as a married couple. As much as Jay and I lived together before we got married and hence ‘as good as married’, there was an adjustment we felt throughout the year. With any change, there was a lot of discomfort whilst finding our new positions. In fact, we were almost surprised we outlasted Kim Kardashian. […]

blog comments powered by Disqus