I know this sounds hypocritical (welcome to humanity) but I really hate drunk people. I hate them even when I’m drunk. I look at their droopy faces and delayed reactions and want to shake them back to sobriety. You see, I pride myself on being a “good drunk.” I don’t get angry; I don’t get mad. I’m me, but drunk. Drunk me is closely related to Sober me, which means I’m usually a fun anti-buzzkill time. There’s no Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kind of situation happening. You won’t ever look into my eyes and be like, “Ryan’s gone!” because I’m always right here, even if I’m three sheets to the wind.
But I often find myself in the minority. I’ll go to a party and watch girls sob to each other in the corner of the room and talking about their terrible fathers while I witness two dudes get riled up over something so trivial. There’ll be paranoia that someone is talking crap because the alcohol has caused insecurities to rise to the surface and act completely irrational. I just hate it. I hate watching people whom I have the utmost respect for be reduced to tears and vomit.
Admittedly, I got issues. I’ve written about having an alcoholic mother (whose now sober) before and I definitely think that has a played a role in me having little tolerance for bad drunks. I’m immediately brought back to living with my mom and having to watch her stumble around the house while asking me slurred questions. Ugh, just typing that made my blood boil again! So when I see someone who clearly can’t handle their booze, I can’t help but get annoyed at them. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve done my time with alcoholics. I don’t need anymore in my life.
I’m aware that this is insensitive of me. After all, people have problems with booze and you have to exhibit compassion. And I do, trust me. I’ve accompanied friends to AA meetings before; I’ve been their cheerleader. I just have no tolerance for the person who won’t acknowledge they suck at drinking and should probably stop. There’s only so many times I can apologize for your behavior and make sure you get home. At a certain point, I can’t be your fairy drunk mother and bail you out. I did that for years with my mom and I’m not about to take on a new project.
Every day I thank my lucky stars that I have a healthy relationship with alcohol because given my genes, it could’ve gone the other way. In fact, it still could. Both my mother ad uncle became alcoholics later in life, after drinking casually for years, so you never know. I’m also not suggesting that I’m the perfect drunk to ever have lived on planet wasted. I’ve definitely had my fair share of regrettable moments. I just wish that people would be conscious of the relationship they have to drugs and alcohol. It’s a blurry line we constantly walk and you have to be mindful of not falling on your face.