I Attract Crazy People

Ever since I can remember, I’ve had a knack for attracting colorful characters in my life. Whether it was the weird kid in my first grade glass who genuinely thought he was a cat and meowed at people or my AP History teacher who wanted to be my friend IRL, made me mixed tapes, and asked me for advice on men (I was barely eighteen and, hi, you don’t know me like that.) I’m not entirely sure why this is, #NotClearOn my status as a crazy person magnet, but it is what it is. People always feel the need to tell me things and I’m too much of a Curious George to ignore them. It’s served me well in my life but it’s also been sort of a hinderance with people I actually want to get to know. It’s like, “I thought you were cool until you told me about the time you got molested within an hour of me meeting you. But what the hey, right?! Let’s go there! What’s your name again?”

I understand this is probably my fault. Subconsciously, I’m attracting these people because of reasons x, y, and z. It might have largely to do with the fact that I’m very personable and have trouble establishing boundaries. I’ve always been that person who befriends the people at my bank or dentist’s office. I can’t help it. People’s stories and personalities are interesting to me. If they weren’t, I probably wouldn’t be a writer; I probably wouldn’t spend all of my time writing about humans if I didn’t care about them.

But it’s worrisome. With the people I could potentially care about, I want them to hold back. I didn’t know that the art of self-disclosure was that hard to master but it apparently is. {Wait, I just realized that you might be calling BS on my own self-disclosure, considering I’ve spoken openly about colonics and anal sex, but you’ll just have to trust me when I say that I’m not TMI in real life.) It’s all about being aware of social cues and assessing someone’s comfort level. With instant friend connections, I have felt okay in revealing a lot about myself in the first meeting. It felt permissible and it was reciprocated, but with most people it’s a slow, delicate process. It’s exciting to learn about their lives little by little. There’s no need to rush things. Information and secrets will come out organically.

I don’t think this is something that will ever go away for me and I’ve come to terms with that. I’ve come to terms with the fact that if a crazy person comes on the bus, chances are they’re going to sit by me and tell me their whole life story. If I go to a house party, some drunk person is going to spill all of their problems on me before they spill their drink on themselves. And at the end of the day, that’s really okay. It allows me to hear every insane life story, which I’ll keep forever in the back of my brain under lock and key. Who knows what I’ll do with all of the information I receive but chances are it’s going to go somewhere real good one day. TC mark

image – My So-Called Life

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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  • http://twitter.com/miggitymel Mel Hennigar

    I as well was born with a weirdo-magnet. It sure makes for the most colourful stories. Like the time the lady on the bus told me about the umbrella she found on the back of her boyfriend’s toilet and that’s how she knew he was cheating on her. Seriously. I can’t even make this stuff up.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe YOU can’t make this stuff up.

  • Anonymous

    i immediately clicked on this essay because i, too, attract crazy people. loved the piece, totally identified with it, and thought you made some good points. i loved “It’s like, “I thought you were cool until you told me about the time you
    got molested within an hour of me meeting you. But what the hey,
    right?! Let’s go there! What’s your name again?”” so true to life, and hilarious.

  • Alex

    Sloppy editing.

  • Bonnie

    Best part of this article is that Rayanne Graff is the picture. 

  • Le Sotao

    I relate. But unlike you I am not personable and I clearly have no problem establishing boundaries – most of the times I don’t even answer or glance their way, and I’m sure the expression I wear would tip any relatively normal person off. So my guess is, if you are a freak magnet there is nothing you can do about it. Bring on the crazy dudes/dudettes on buses telling me their whole life or asking me to send some random text to someone, taxi drivers showing me family pictures, and freshly-known friends of friends who think they have known me forever or become annoying stalkers. The upside though, sweet old ladies offering me cookies and telling me stories from their younger years.

    • gueston

      Same here I try to avoid eye contact look angry walk away but STILL….they start talking to me.Wth?Also the thing with old people is cool unless an old guy starts hitting on me,eww.

  • Anonymous

    Everybody funny, now you funny too.

  • http://www.thenormalmachine.com/ Michael Zunenshine

    Wait, i don’t get the end. Will the stories remain “under  lock and key” or will they “go somewhere real good” ?

  • Chick

    I always thought I attract weirdos because I’m a weirdo.  It makes sense that some of you are probably weirdos to.  

  • http://twitter.com/mung_beans Mung Beans

    Have you considered that you too might be crazy?  

  • http://mrianmbelcurry.tumblr.com/ Mr. Ian M. Belcurry

    I have some codependent issues and have attracted crazy people. It’s pretty common.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DLV74R5N2HW2HIEAV5VA2AV6NU bill

       Hey, consider yourself lucky that people are generally paranoid drones these days that stay patched into their ipods in public places, strain to avoid eye-contact and/or conversations and generally don’t smoke as much weed as arbitrarily as people seemed to used to.  You might want to look into “narcissistic supply.”

  • Guest

    people who make a habit of calling people crazy are usually dull people, IMHO

  • Guest

    people who make a habit of calling people crazy are usually dull people, IMHO

  • Natalie

    I definitely know what you mean- I too seem to attract crazy people. But I realize that I’m crazy too, just in a different way. I’m crazy in the way that slowly reveals itself, so after a while you can step back and say “damn, you really are crazy. But we’re good friends now so although I might not understand all the strange things you do, it’s cool”. You can tell the people that I attract are crazy fright off the bat, but they are drawn to me because they can sense my crazyness. Takes one to know one!

  • Natalie

    I definitely know what you mean- I too seem to attract crazy people. But I realize that I’m crazy too, just in a different way. I’m crazy in the way that slowly reveals itself, so after a while you can step back and say “damn, you really are crazy. But we’re good friends now so although I might not understand all the strange things you do, it’s cool”. You can tell the people that I attract are crazy fright off the bat, but they are drawn to me because they can sense my crazyness. Takes one to know one!

  • spinflux

    I wish I would be molested within five minutes of meeting someone.

    Hey-yo!

    • Anonymous

      HOW AM I THE ONLY PERSON THAT HAS LIKED THIS?!?!?!

  • Tadaw

    First grade glass?

  • Anonymous

    Everyone is basically his or her own favorite topic of conversation. It’s amazing what people are willing to tell you if you’re a supportive listener.

  • Alie

    It’s a boundaries thing.  Sometimes, I will just walk away from a conversation if it makes me uncomfortable.

  • guest

    I saw this title and immediately knew I must read it, because I too attract crazy, weird people. I think there is a formula, you are all crazy, so that means that i attract you and that you attract other crazies. we are all crazy together. in the end there will be a network of compatible crazy people and the world will be a better place.

    I LOVED: “I thought you were cool until you told me about the time you
    got molested within an hour of me meeting you. But what the hey,
    right?! Let’s go there! What’s your name again?””

    couldn’t have put it more perfectly.

  • Anonymous

    Great piece. I am a reformed weirdo magnet because after waaay tooo many psycho-girlfriends (but the sex was soooo good), “starving” poets (you spent my $50 loan on drugs? Sure, here’s another 50!), and crash-test relatives (No I don’t know why grandpa likes you less than the other cousins), I realized I had to stop whining and turn off MY attraction to the weirdos.

  • Colleenegeary

    that is me in a nut shell, love this! 

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