10 Songs I Never Want To Hear Again

1.”The Reason” by Hoobastank

Note: The music video for “The Reason” has 28 million views on YouTube. In related news, I hate everyone. All kidding aside though, I’m really glad we’re at a place in our culture where we can collectively “LOL” at the hot mess that was Hoobastank. Their music somehow managed to be dull AND grating, which is no small accomplishment. And the name! Dear god, the name. Infuriatingly idiotic just like their music. I once knew a girl who lost her virginity to this song. It was so sad.

2. “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne

Truth be told, I kind of love Avril. She makes unabashed catchy pop and makes no bones about the fact that she’s sort of a joke. But I can’t, won’t, don’t get behind the atrocity that is “Girlfriend.” It’s like she made it just to screw with us and people actually liked it?! The shrill vocals, the handclaps, the horrible redundancy. It’s like Chinese Water Torture for the ears!

3. “Who Let The Dogs Out?” by Baha Men

We can also file this under: “Songs That Were Sent To Earth To Annoy Us”. Successful pop songs have the tendency to be truly awful, don’t they? It’s like the more aggressively annoying they are, the more likely they’re going to take off. But someone, somewhere, likes this drivel. They helped make it a giant success and they’re the reason why I’m writing about it now. So let’s be real for a sec, who’s a genuine Baha Men fan? I know you’re out there. Come on, I just want to pick your brain for a second… (AND MAYBE SHAKE YOUR BODY VIOLENTLY BACK AND FORTH)

4.”Arms Wide Open” by Creed

Besides being an egomaniacal alcoholic who occasionally liked to beat up chicks, Scott Stapp also made terrible music in his Christian rock band, Creed. Again, I feel like Creed was a band that was constantly the butt of every joke but they somehow still managed to sell millions of records. What gives, America?!

5.”Hey There Delilah” by Plain White T’s

If I were the real life Delilah, I would be so pissed at the Plain White T’s for making such an insufferable popular ballad because of me. I bet her friends gave her crap for it every single day. “Thanks, Delilah! Because of you, I hear that terrible song every time I go to the dentist.” OMG, it is such Dentist Office Music, which is honestly the worst musical genre to ever exist.

6.”(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time On You” by *NSYNC

I’m obsessed with the fact that this song even exists! I mean, besides being a syrupy sentimental mess, its lyrics are hilariously offensive. Can you imagine someone telling you IRL, “Beb, God must have spent a little more time on you because, damn, you’re fine. God saw you and like totally ditched the person he was busy creating (who, incidentally, turned out to have mild retardation because of His negligence) and was all about making you beautiful and amazing. Thank God for inequity!” Ugh.

7. “Turn It Up” by Paris Hilton

We knew Paris Hilton’s music career was going to be hysterical but I don’t think we quite understood how amazing it would be. Case in point: The opening track, “Turn It Up”, in which Paris sounds like a demonic sex kitten ordering the DJ to turn up her fave jam in da club. My favorite part is the first few seconds when Paris speaks in short blasts, saying “That’s hot”, “Yeah” and coos the name of her producer, Scott Storch, who I’m sure was laughing maniacally as he was making the track while simultaneously enjoying a BJ from Paris.

8.”Hey, Soul Sister” by Train

We thought we killed Train, didn’t we? When “Drops Of Jupiter” came out, we made the decision to get rid of them once and for all. We got the torches, the slingshots, and did away with them just like we did with Vanilla Ice and Hilary Duff’s sister. But somehow they came back to life and bombarded us with this new disgusting track. Clever girls, those Train people are. I guess we’ll have to try again, won’t we?

9.”Good Life” by OneRepublic

This song is having a moment right now in movie trailers for inspirational chick flicks. It’s always set to a scene of Anne Hathaway or Kate Hudson realizing that, despite the challenges that lie ahead, she does have a good life. There is NOTHING worse than the music in chick flicks. It’s like they raid a soccer mom’s CD rack and are just like, “Okay. This music sounds like it has a vagina. Let’s put it in!”

10. “Inflammatory Writ” by Joanna Newsom

I love Joanna Newsom, okay? I thought her first album, The Milk-Eyed Mender, was actually beautiful and I even saw her in concert before she was a big D. That being said, there are some songs of her that I can’t get behind and this is one of them. Her “unique” voice coupled with the annoying beat makes for ear suicide. TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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More From Thought Catalog

  • Joy

    Foster the People – Pumped Up Kicks. Especially if you live in Atlanta..I hear that literally 2-3 times a day.

    • Bealtaine

      nooooooooooooo not foster the people! I love them…though to be fair they arent big in ireland.

    • a.

      It’s even worse in LA, since they’re from here. I love Foster the People, but good god, they have other songs.

  • A.

    disagree with N’Sync and Paris Hilton but the rest of this is spot on. my favorite part of Turn It On is the intro??? MMM, YEP, YEA, THAT’S HOT, SCOTT STORCH.

  • http://twitter.com/ohfaith Faith Wright

    “hey there delilah” is up there for me along with “first day of my life” by bright eyes and death cab’s “I will follow you into the dark”.

  • http://twitter.com/ohfaith Faith Wright

    “hey there delilah” is up there for me along with “first day of my life” by bright eyes and death cab’s “I will follow you into the dark”.

  • http://twitter.com/i9M Michael B

    that being said, “Nothing in This World” by Paris is my JAM. #notsorry

  • http://twitter.com/i9M Michael B

    that being said, “Nothing in This World” by Paris is my JAM. #notsorry

    • http://twitter.com/Melissa_Messer Melissa Messer

      Forever and always. Thought I was the only one.

    • http://twitter.com/Melissa_Messer Melissa Messer

      Forever and always. Thought I was the only one.

  • Kelly

    I love anything NSYNC sings. From the ages of 11-17 that was my favorite song. Probably still is. 

  • Kelly

    I love anything NSYNC sings. From the ages of 11-17 that was my favorite song. Probably still is. 

  • Alex

    I still love “Hey there Delilah.” I liked Train’s song the first couple of times i listened to it, but after hearing it in every damn commercial I hate it with a vengeance!

  • Alex

    I still love “Hey there Delilah.” I liked Train’s song the first couple of times i listened to it, but after hearing it in every damn commercial I hate it with a vengeance!

  • Anonymous

    Sarah Bareilles’ “Love Song”  F**k that song.

    I actually disagree with most of these, but then I’m not a hipster who hates all popular music.

    I mean, have you ever tried rocking out to “Who let the dogs out?” when you were having a terrible day? It is impossible not to laugh.

    • bahahahaha men

      RIGHT! that songgives me the feeling i got when i was seven and someone accidentally gave me two cans of pop. 

    • bahahahaha men

      RIGHT! that songgives me the feeling i got when i was seven and someone accidentally gave me two cans of pop. 

    • bahahahaha men

      RIGHT! that songgives me the feeling i got when i was seven and someone accidentally gave me two cans of pop. 

    • bahahahaha men

      RIGHT! that songgives me the feeling i got when i was seven and someone accidentally gave me two cans of pop. 

    • Anonymous

      lol is ryan a hipster? Really?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5WQXSSKAMOU4WCHKCWYMUKKKNU Aladin Sane

    This shitty laptop DJ played “Who Let The Dogs Out” at the bar I work at on Saturday night. It took all the will I could muster not to hurl a pint glass at him.

  • Okcool

    i’ve been trying to write something here for like 5 minutes trying not to sound snarky and usually i hate it when people correct things in thought catalog articles but what exactly do you mean by ‘annoying beat’ in inflammatory writ? there’s no percussion in the song it’s just vocals & piano which is playing in a 3/4 time signature and if that’s what you mean by an ‘annoying beat’ then i think there’s thousands of more songs you’d never want to hear again.

    • valtameri

      Beat is not a synonym for percussion.

  • http://twitter.com/kaimcn Kai

    “Hey There Delilah” reminds me of the friend that used to bitch about how she “used to love (inser song here) but then it was on the radio all the time and now I hate it”. To which my response was always, “turn off the radio!”
    I heard “The Reason” in a grocery store the other day, so I guess it’s inescapable. And this is why I wear headphones to the point that it’s probably risky.

  • http://twitter.com/2lost2survive JCramps

    “Who Let the Dogs Out” was the closing song of my junior prom several years back. NIGHT. RUINED.

  • blerg!

    Actually watching the video for “The Reason” makes me hate it even more. 

    • Sarah

      Agreed!

    • Sarah

      Agreed!

  • Robert L.

    Disagree with Hey Soul Sister. Girlfriend is spot on, though.

  • Daily TC Reader

    I am the only person I know that is not ashamed of liking Creed. “My Sacrifice” and “One Last Breath” are two of my favorite songs of all time. That being said, I can’t stand “Arms Wide Open.” 

    All of these songs are spot on. I never heard “Turn it Up” or “Inflammatory Writ” before this, but I know I never want to hear either of those songs again. 

    • a.

      I am so sorry.

    • a.

      I am so sorry.

  • Anonymous

    Not a bad list, but I can’t dis the guys of NSYNC.
    Great harmony. Great synergy ….. if sometimes a bit smarmy.
    That’s what love and lust are all about. Some people are hot and some are not!

  • http://twitter.com/asterdm aster

    this is all so spot on. i never understood the appeal of any of these songs. especially hey there delilah. sheesh what a train wreck.

  • http://twitter.com/tannnyaya Tanya Salyers

    fantastic! I hate ALL of those songs! I saw Hoobastank in concert when that song came out, though…it was terrible.  You know that song hit #1 for the year on a few charts…I think it was 2003? Ugh..

    • http://twitter.com/tannnyaya Tanya Salyers

      I’d also like to add every Nickelback song ever recorded, or that will be recorded.

      • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

        Sorry, I love  ‘Someday.’ 
        I cry/cried to that song when I hear it. Not out of disgust either .

  • http://westcoastwest.wordpress.com wcw

    with the exception of paris hilton’s turn it up, i agree 100

  • http://twitter.com/dianasalier diana salier

    if you watch The Reason on YouTube the related videos sidebar is LOLworthy

  • http://twitter.com/dianasalier diana salier

    if you watch The Reason on YouTube the related videos sidebar is LOLworthy

  • http://twitter.com/dianasalier diana salier

    if you watch The Reason on YouTube the related videos sidebar is LOLworthy

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