1. Make yourself look really attractive
Whenever I feel like crap (emotionally or physically), I make a point to never let my interior match my exterior. That means whenever I have a cough or just am battling a bad mood, I channel that sadness into pure disgusting vanity. Yes, I’m one of those gross people who feels good when they look good. If I spend extra time in the morning putting together a cute outfit, styling my hair, and spraying a ton of my favorite fragrance all over my body, I know my mood will improve dramatically. Plus, it’s just interesting to make yourself look like a million bucks when emotionally you feel like you’re in the negative. You feel like a damn jester who’s just fooling everyone. “Oh, you think I look amazing today? Thanks. I hate myself!”
2. Take out some displaced anger on your deli guy
If you live in New York, chances are you see your deli guy more than you see your actual friends. They see you when you’re wasted, stoned, happy, or sad, and they can tell where you’re at emotionally, spiritually, and sexually just by the things your purchasing that day. “Two chocolate bars? Someone’s in a very, very dark place today!” If you ever need someone to take out your aggression on, why not do it to the deli guy?! God knows you can’t do it to the person you’re actually upset with so go ahead! Scream at the dude for not carrying Fruit Stripes gum or whatever. You’ll feel so much better and the deli guy will just be super confused.
3. Touch yourself….
I mean, duh, number one stress reliever right here. The great thing about working from home is that you can take as many “smoke breaks” as you want. Oh dear, I’ve already said too much!
4. Buy something that’s totally superfluous but inexpensive
The other day, I wandered into some expensive home decor store in a complete fugue. I was sad for no reason (It was Sunday?) and I wanted to buy something that would make me feel like an empowered domestic goddess. I wanted an item that screamed, “I AM A PERSON WHO HAS IT ALL TOGETHER! DOES ANYONE NEED A STRAINER BECAUSE I HAVE ONE. IT’S FROM SOME BOUGIE GROWN UP PLACE. SERIOUSLY, BORROW IT!” Yeah, I quickly realized that everything cost over 200 hundred dollars so you know what I ended up buying? Lemonade mix. For some reason, the store also sold fancy flavored lemonade mix and you better believe I was all over that like depression on an open oven. It was only like seven dollars, which meant that I would never even have buyer’s remorse! I immediately went home, made the damn lemonade, and drank it like I had just run a marathon. It tasted good and my mood perked up!
5. Ignore people
There’s something sickly satisfying about ignoring people’s texts and phone calls. When I’m not feeling too hot, I liberally press the “Ignore’ button on my phone without texting an explanation. Why? Because I’m in a bad mood and I don’t need to alert friends and family when I just want to spend the day watching TV and ordering delivery. I know this is 2011 but we don’t owe people anything. If you gotta do you, DO YOU. Deal with the “WTF? WHERE DID YOU GO?” later when you can actually deal with it.
6. Take a bath
Have you reacquainted yourself with your bathtub yet? If not, do so immediately. When I started living alone, I would take long baths in the winter with a cup of whiskey and let me tell you, it was HEAVEN. It’s like a spa in your very own apartment. I forgot how zonked out it makes you and how loose your muscles feel afterwards. Baths always cheer me up and they’re also perfect for curing hangovers!