Lies Felicity Told Me About College

1. Your dorm room will be huge!

This was a very cruel lie Felicity told me. I remember going to my dorms on the first day of my freshman year all bright eyed and bushy tailed because I couldn’t wait to see my mini mansion of a room! Remember Felicity and Megan’s? It was the size of a giant co-op in Park Slope! So imagine my disappointment when I discovered that mine was actually the size of a walk in closet. “Um, excuse me. This is not how it is on TV! Where are our separate entrances? Can I talk to my sexy nerd of an RA about this?”

2. The dorms are an amazing cultural experience. Someone is always playing an instrument and such!

Felicity’s dorm was awesome. There was always some musical prodigy playing the piano or saxophone or some scary movie being viewed in the lobby. And what a quirky bunch of kids they were, always coming to Noel for some wacky advice! In real life, however, dorms don’t have much of an ambience, unless you count late night vomiting as something. And the kids are usually dicks who have never actually talked to their RA.

3. College kids hang out at Dean & Deluca

When I first moved to New York, I made sure to check out Dean & Deluca—the place Felicity worked at all throughout college—ASAP! I imagined it to be frequented by smart college kids writing papers and gossiping and I even remember telling my new friends at school, “Hey guys. Wanna go to Dean & Deluca and study later?” They gave me confused looks and were like, “Um, okayyyyy. I have, like, no money though. But yeah, let’s!” I was confused by their resistance. Hadn’t Dean & Deluca been the place to go for students? I went after school to scope out the situation and immediately understood their hesitation. Instead of being managed by a quirky Spanish gay guy and populated by college students, it was stuffy and overrun by 80-year-old grandmas in Chanel. Ew! Felicity would’ve never worked here! To save face with my new school chums, I would always study elsewhere with them. However, you best believe that I went to Dean & Deluca in secret to channel Felicity’s spirit. For some reason, it always reminded me of California and made me feel safe.

4. Your RA will be a sexy bitch and you will probably have an illicit affair with them!

Um, no. Instead of getting Noel Crane, I got an overweight Albino Christian who was basically a sexual predator to the girls on my floor. There would be no smooching over Boggle in my future. My RA wore size 48 OshKosh B’gosh jeans, talked incessantly about the fact that he was a virgin (by choice, although we knew that was BS), and once he even sat us all down to show us an episode of Flipped—a reality show about swapping families that aired on the Fox Family channel many moons ago. His family had appeared on an episode as the creepy religious ones who try to tame a liberal family’s ways.

5. You can be a turtleneck wearing, frizzy haired psycho and people will still want to be friends with you

I’m just re-watching Felicity now after taking a hiatus for a few years and I’m alarmed by how crazy her behavior was. I mean, she is legitimately a stalker. If I were Ben or Julie, I would get the locks changed and call the police if I ever saw her khaki ass coming near me. But I guess this was seen as endearing? I don’t get it. Not only is she unstable, homegirl never likes to drink or have any fun. What’s the draw? You just know that Ben and Julie would have secret hang out sessions in which they would call the coke dealer and listen to Julie’s weird folk music till six in the morning. TC mark

image – Felicity

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

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  • http://twitter.com/ingenuegle Egle Makaraite

    WHAT are you talking about??? Felicity is my life!

  • Guest

    Hahahahahahahahahaha.

  • Guestropod

    pleeeeeeeeeeease get over your weight stuff

    • http://www.noahtourjee.com Noah Tourjee

      Sounds more like you need to get over Your weight stuff.

      • Guestropod

        just saying, fatness/the fear of getting fat comes up so much in Ryan O’C articles

  • Len Yeh

    #2 is true if you go to a nerd school though. I still have to thank my freshman year dorm floor for my incredible Rubik’s cube skills. Yeah, we have competitions. What. 

  • mashka

    haha FOR REAL. What a creepy stalker like I was cringing all through the first season when I re-watched it earlier this year. I mean it’s understandable that it never registered with me when it first came out considering I was like 13 and stalking=romance back then.

  • http://www.noahtourjee.com Noah Tourjee

    ” I would get the locks changed and call the police if I ever saw her khaki ass coming near me.” lol oh this whole article just really made me laugh you are funny my friend haha

  • mels

    omg this is hilarious! total felicity fan here and after watching again as i am now in my thirties, i never realized how whiny felicity and stalker like felicity was! i felt so bad for noel too even though i’m a total ben fan lol. goes to show how unexperienced we were as youngin’s. now when i watch again i’m like, god! shut up felicity! now i  totally see julie’s side of it now when she called her a bitch hahaha! but i guess it also showed how innocent and sheltered felicity was. she had a lot of growing up to do! lol

  • Lea1023

    Because of this post, I just added Felicity to my Netflix queue… did you know you can watch the entire 4 seasons on Instant?! God knows I probably won’t get that far, but I can’t wait to watch these horrible (slash awesome) episodes again.

  • http://somuchtocome.blogspot.com Aja

    I never watched that show because I found the very premise pathetic.  

  • Amanda

    I love this post! Rock on & keep blogging about Felicity…it was anything but pathetic. Ah, memories.

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  • http://twitter.com/Corrynmb Corryn Batykefer

    lol! I am rewatching felicity right now.. and it made e want to buy dean and deluca coffee so since i live in fl i just ordered some online. LOL

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/some-honest-advice-for-college-students/ Some Honest Advice For College Students | Thought Catalog

    […] Ah, interning! The concept has been engrained in your brains, hasn’t it? MUST INTERN OR ELSE MY LIFE WILL BE A GIANT FAILURE BUT OH MY GOD I CAN’T AFFORD TO INTERN AND WHY IS THIS SUCH A SCREWED UP SYSTEM? I hear ya, honey. Maybe this piece of advice I’m about to share with you will help assuage your fears a bit: Interning is mostly bullshit. It’s free labor and chances are it won’t materialize into a job. There are exceptions, of course, there always are, but am I the only one who thinks the importance of interning has gotten blown way out of proportion? People act as if it’s a golden ticket when really it’s just you acting like Anne Hathaway in Devil Wears Prada for three months. I interned a million times and it got me zero jobs. The connections I made at each internship were useless. They couldn’t help me get a job when they were holding onto theirs for dear life. It was all just propaganda. College kids are convinced that their career will flounder if they don’t bring some bitch in YSL some coffee but it’s not true. Sorry. YOU’VE BEEN LIED TO. […]

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/10/some-honest-advice-for-college-students/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    […] Ah, interning! The concept has been engrained in your brains, hasn’t it? MUST INTERN OR ELSE MY LIFE WILL BE A GIANT FAILURE BUT OH MY GOD I CAN’T AFFORD TO INTERN AND WHY IS THIS SUCH A SCREWED UP SYSTEM? I hear ya, honey. Maybe this piece of advice I’m about to share with you will help assuage your fears a bit: Interning is mostly bullshit. It’s free labor and chances are it won’t materialize into a job. There are exceptions, of course, there always are, but am I the only one who thinks the importance of interning has gotten blown way out of proportion? People act as if it’s a golden ticket when really it’s just you acting like Anne Hathaway in Devil Wears Prada for three months. I interned a million times and it got me zero jobs. The connections I made at each internship were useless. They couldn’t help me get a job when they were holding onto theirs for dear life. It was all just propaganda. College kids are convinced that their career will flounder if they don’t bring some bitch in YSL some coffee but it’s not true. Sorry. YOU’VE BEEN LIED TO. […]

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