Thought Catalog

Is It Fall Yet?

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Is it fall yet? Can I wear cardigans and jeans and sweaters and stop feeling so exposed all of the damn time? Can I switch from sangria to whiskey and spend nights in my warm bathtub listening to jazz and feeling really elegant?

Is it fall yet? Can I dump my airhead summer fling who looks great in a tank top and trade him in for a fall boyfriend—someone who will drink coffee with me and talk about gender norms and Kim Kardashian and lay in bed for a long time and create a little cocoon of comfort? Can I have boring sex and great conversations?

Is it fall yet? Can I start to feel the anxiety of Halloween plans and what I should be? Can I spend too much money on a costume the day before and ultimately decide to stay in and watch scary movies instead? Can I just hate Halloween?

Is it fall yet? Can I take pictures of myself in the foliage and post them on my Facebook with the caption “OMG. FALL.” Can I make an album and call it “fall fuzz” and have photos of hot chocolate and pumpkins? Can I talk about how much I love the weather even when I’m choosing to stay indoors because it’s, like, too cold?

Is it fall yet? Can I start feeling nostalgic for things I never even experienced like bobbing for apples and going to haunted houses? Can I miss trick or treating and resent that my only option on Halloween is to dress like a whore and get wasted? Can I marvel at how the meanings of holidays change as you get older? Can I miss the innocence of getting sick on too much candy instead of alcohol? Can I miss my mommy?

Is it fall yet? Can I begin to feel nervous about Thanksgiving and Christmas and seeing my family and being reminded of how much things have changed and how much they haven’t? Can I feel old and miss being excited about presents? Can I tell my dad to go screw himself and then raid the medicine cabinet?

Is it fall yet? Is it time for me to go back to my hometown and run into people I didn’t care about it in high school and I certainly don’t care about right now? Can I feel overwhelmed by the realness of everything and being faced with the reality of time passing? Can I just go back to my city and my life and feel okay again?

Is it fall yet? Can I miss you now? I only really miss you in this season, which is weird but maybe it’s because the leaves always stun me like love. I want to lie in my bed listening to that one song that makes me feel warm and think of you.

Is it fall yet? Can I feel like an adult now living in my own apartment and living my own life during a season that’s meant for parents and their children? Can I make Hot Toddy’s before bed and feel like I’m becoming the person you taught me to be? Can I eat some damn pumpkin pie? TC mark

Image – Cristiano Betta

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    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

      answer: yes.

      “h3 style=”padding-left: 60px;”>”

    • EternalSummerFlings

      I live in Puerto Rico is like summer all the time, I want fall :( 

    • http://somuchtocome.blogspot.com/ Aja

      “Can I miss you yet?”  Hit home.  By the way, your timing is impeccable.  I’m unpacking my winter wardrobe from under my bed.  It’s always great because it always feels like you’re getting new stuff when really it’s stuff you just really love to wear when it’s cold out.  I love fall.  (I loathe winter).

    • http://twitter.com/DorryAlena Dorry Alena Funaki

      yes, it is fall. and this is retarded.

      • itstartswithay

        Rude.

    • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

      You’re speaking to me on so many levels. All hail sweater weather!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=807220175 Jessica De la Cruz

      i find it interesting how much of a ~femminist~ you are, yet you continue to use words like “whore”.
      get it together.

      • padface

        Slut is anti-feminist and bad. Whore is just a factual description i.e. she dressed in clothing suitable for enticing men to pay for sex.

        If anything it’s you that is attributing negative perceptions to being a whore, ergo you are the one being a misogynist here. Such fun!

      • http://twitter.com/cooltay105 Tay D.

        Have you ever read The Ethical Slut? Using the word “whore” doesn’t disqualify one from being a feminist. 

      • holymoly

        this is getting really fucking ridiculous now.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6IFPDSFKEQJE2ZPP3ASE35MRL4 Laura

      “Is it fall yet? Can I start to feel the anxiety of Halloween plans and what I should be? Can I spend too much money on a costume the day before and ultimately decide to stay in and watch scary movies instead? Can I just hate Halloween?”Me every single year since the age of 16. You know what’s up, Ryan.

    • Mikela

      I always find your articles the most relevant

    • http://twitter.com/scottneyspears Scott

      “Can I miss the innocence of getting sick on too much candy instead of alcohol?” SO GENIOUS

    • GUEST

      I hate Halloween, too. Finding the right costume that is neither slutty nor lame is always a challenge for me.

      Great article.

    • Danielle G

      Awwww. I’m spending this fall doing research on the Galapagos Islands and am really sad that I am going to miss my favorite season. God I love the fall. 

      • Anonymous

        I love the fall too, but jeeze, I think those islands trump almost everything for me right now.

    • http://www.facebook.com/nattusmith Natt Smith

      This Fall I expect to dress more like the artsy/creative type. I expect to dress with flair and coordination. No more jeans and t-shirts for me. It will all be vintage. If it is not more then 20 years old I won’t be wearing it. I want people to look at me and think “hmmm, she looks like she just got finished painting something.”
      From my blog: http://inneedofnatt.blogspot.com/ 

    • Guest

      Is it fall yet? Is it time for me to go back to my hometown and run into
      people I didn’t care about it in high school and I certainly don’t care
      about right now? Can I feel overwhelmed by the realness of everything
      and being faced with the reality of time passing? Can I just go back to
      my city and my life and feel okay again?

      This made me cry. The truth in this, particularly that graf, is almost unbearable.

    • Call87

      Off to grab a pumpkin spice latte, only to re-realize that I don’t like the pumpkin spice latte.

    • Jason

      i can be your fall boyfriend ; )

    • Anonymous

      as of this morning it is fall for me. the air hated my flip flops today. and the pine tree in my yard dropped a pinecone on my foot.

      I love fall, but it hates me back…

    • Luxe

      oh i love fall and i love this article and i love you, ryan o’connell

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=694130088 Ryan Peterson

      “Is it fall yet? Can I miss you now”

      THIS.

    • http://twitter.com/danielsmorfin Daniel Soto M

      One of your best Ryan… cried and everything… Sometimes I feel it’s been fall for a long time in here…

    • http://twitter.com/danielsmorfin Daniel Soto M

      One of your best Ryan… cried and everything… Sometimes I feel it’s been fall for a long time in here…

    • Guest

      “…the leaves always stun me like love”

      My favorite line. Just beautiful.

    • https://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/cant-we-just-wear-sweaters-and-hug-and-do-autumn-y-things-together-for-a-fixed-amount-of-time/ Can’t We Just Wear Sweaters And Hug And Do Autumn-y Things Together For A Fixed Amount Of Time? | Thought Catalog

      […] want to hug is great, but it’s not the best thing ever. Hugging somebody you really want to hug when they are wearing a sweater is even better, but still not the best. Hugging somebody you really want to hug when you are both […]

    • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/09/can%e2%80%99t-we-just-wear-sweaters-and-hug-and-do-autumn-y-things-together-for-a-fixed-amount-of-time/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

      […] want to hug is great, but it’s not the best thing ever. Hugging somebody you really want to hug when they are wearing a sweater is even better, but still not the best. Hugging somebody you really want to hug when you are both […]

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