Having A Slurpee With You

Having a slurpee with you is even more fun than smoking weed in the gardens of Versailles, or eating a soft serve vanilla ice cream cone from McDonald’s on a balmy summer day when you feel young and fresh and slender. Partly because you make me feel higher than any drug possibly could, partly because you make me feel like I’m worth loving, partly because you can make me feel warmer than the sun.

It’s hard to believe when I’m with you that I could feel this childlike and safe. A giant sense of relief is lifted off my shoulders because I now know that I never have to spend another night wondering if anyone could ever adore me on a cold winter day when I have a puffy face and stomach and my scalp is itchy and my mouth tastes like blue cheese and my jeans no longer fit and I start to look less like the person you first met and fell in love with. I don’t have to get my eyebrows waxed or buy the right skin creams or go to the gym after work and buy jeans that make my ass look good. I don’t need to trick anyone anymore.

and all those songs about heartbreak I heard on the radio turned out to be about no one at all
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever wrote them

I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the naked pictures of Ryan Philipe in the world except possibly that ass shot in Cruel Intentions occasionally and anyway you haven’t even seen that movie, which thank heavens so you can watch it for the first time with me. And the fact that the curve of your back is so stunning takes care of my subscription to XTube. At home I never think of the boys who once loved me, even the one who had all of me and threw it away because you’re here and I’m queer and I don’t want to deal with anyone else but you. At work I don’t want to read Lorrie Moore or Joan Didion anymore because they never knew you. They never wrote a novel about the dimple on your cheek or your porcelain skin so why should I care about what they have to say?

It seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it. TC mark

Image – lsiegert

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

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  • newbornrodeo

    “Relax, girl. Sip some of my Slurpee.” – Pharrell, 2002

  • Anonymous

    “I would rather look at you than all the naked pictures of Ryan Philipe in the world except possibly that ass shot in Cruel Intentions occasionally ”

    right on!

  • Inmyfruitcup

    I still want to read Lorrie Moore D:
     

  • craycrae

    this is quite beautiful.

  • b.

    this is a really pretty homage <3 

  • star

    “I never have to spend another night wondering if anyone could ever adore
    me on a cold winter day when I have a puffy face and stomach and my
    scalp is itchy and my mouth tastes like blue cheese and my jeans no
    longer fit.”

    The very reasons I’m dreading winter. I hope I can find someone who makes me feel this way by the time my confidence fades along with my tan.

  • Joy

    fuck yes, Frank O’Hara!

  • Mgreen185

    So beautifully written. 

  • lolastrawbunny

    blue cheese mouth? yum..barf

  • Karina

    frank o’hara & ryan o’connell!
    All the parallels! 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=508371039 Rayan Khayat

    did Ryan meet someone??

    • Wonderin'

      Ummm was going to ask the same thing….

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=508371039 Rayan Khayat

        I hope so! and not at the same time.

        Ryan!!!!!!!!! I looovee you!! please reply to me and validate my existence!!!!!

        #RyanOconGroupie!!

  • http://twitter.com/mung_beans 371747

    ” young and fresh and slender. ”

    you have weird weight stuff, man, it comes up in everything you write

  • Emery

    I just came in here to say how much I fucking love Slurpee. May it live on forever. 

  • Guest

    “Partly because you make me feel higher than any drug possibly could, partly because you make me feel like I’m worth loving, partly because you can make me feel warmer than the sun.”
    Ahhhh!

  • Guest

    “Partly because you make me feel higher than any drug possibly could, partly because you make me feel like I’m worth loving, partly because you can make me feel warmer than the sun.”
    Ahhhh!

  • http://twitter.com/AbeAxis Abe Lara

    This made me tear up.. So beautifully written!

  • http://twitter.com/gayworldproblem Gay World Problems

    CRUEL INTENTIONS reference? Yes please. Loves.

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