One of the more shameful aspects of graduating college these days is not only the scarlet letter “U” for Unemployed, but rather the constant comparisons you’ll make to your friends who are doing well. It’s a race after college that no one really talks about—the race to find your dream job and have bragging rights. That’s honestly one of the biggest draws of getting a job now. You get to update your Facebook and Twitter with statuses that essentially read, “Screw all y’all. I’m doing great! SEE YOU SUCKERS AT THE REUNION!”
Oh, how times have changed. In high school and college, it was all about getting a boyfriend/girlfriend and bragging about it all over the internet. You’d post pictures of the two of you and write cute things on each other’s walls, which you knew your single friends would see and get bummed out about. When you graduate college, The Great First Job becomes the new Great First Relationship. Now, instead of promoting your relationship, you flaunt your professional life as a way to make “friends” feel bad about themselves. And if you happen to be one of those people with a great job AND a great relationship, well, you can just…go far, far away from me.
We all have those people we’re secretly competitive with. Maybe it’s the person who was the golden child of your major in college. You always compared your progress to theirs and always felt the need to one-up them. I know you’re following their post-grad life like a hawk. You’ll want to kill yourself when you see a status update that goes, “OMG, I’VE BEEN GIVEN THIS AMAZING OPPORTUNITY AT BLAH BLAH. I’M SO SHOCKED AND HONORED!” It takes all of your might to not comment, “BRB. Killing myself.” Admit it. You want to see some people fail. It gives you a sick satisfaction. Hey, I’m not judging. No shame in the cutthroat post-grad game.
I’ve talked at length about how technology is sort of ruining our lives and this is just another reason to add to the list. With Facebook and Twitter, we’re able to track people’s successes and failures, the latter of which can be particularly painful to see. We are reminded everyday of where we’re at in our lives or, in many cases, where we’re not. Um, I’m no doctor, but that doesn’t seem to be too healthy for our fragile psyches. It’s bad enough toiling away at some crappy job when you’re 26. You don’t need to be reminded that Zoe, the talentless lesbian from your fashion class, is having her designs featured in the new French Vogue.