Why Would Anyone Want To Have Sex With Me?

I’m shocked that people want to have sex with me. They see me and my body and are like, “Oh, I want some of that. I need to see that body naked!” This isn’t an issue of self-esteem. On the contrary, I think I’m cute and intellectually I can understand why someone would want to get down with me. I think I would actually have sex with me too. But emotionally, I’m always taken aback when someone talks about my sexiness or my body in a positive light. I’m always like, “Really? You’re having this response to my body? Do you even know about the things it does sometimes?!”

I feel like other people struggle with this too—the idea that someone can sexualize you in the same way you sexualize them. It’s just strange to think that people can get an erection from just little ol’ me. I mean, really? That’s just something I’ll never understand. It’s impossible for me to be in someone else’s shoes, someone who desires me and wants to see me naked and do crazy things to my body. I know this is ridiculous though. I know that I shouldn’t be surprised when someone wants to get busy. After all, everyone has sex. I’ve slept with some guys who might’ve been lacking in the looks department but I found myself super attracted to them anyway. People are sexy. People are boneworthy. This is what makes the world go around—people having sex with each other—so what’s the big whoop?

I guess it’s because I’m with my body every single day. I’ve been with it through hard times and good times. I’ve seen the weird things it can do. I’ve been repulsed by it, disappointed and scared of it. That being said, I’ve also seen it look really good and have thought to myself, “Okay, fine. I would take you home after 1.5 drinks. I get it.” But something still doesn’t translate. When you’re getting intimate with someone and they’re saying those types of things you only say when you’re getting laid, I get a little uncomfortable. “You’re so hot. You’re so sexy. I’m responding positively to the things you are doing right now!” It all leaves me a little stunned. I just want to say cool, thank you and I’m glad you feel that way.

I don’t think we’re ever meant to see ourselves exactly as others see us. It would remove any element of surprise and make the moments when someone does tells us that we’re so damn hot less special. Ugh, this makes me look like I have body dysmorphia or something. I don’t. When I look in the mirror, I love what I see. I think I see a cute boy staring back at me! Yay! I just don’t wanna go down on my own reflection. But I’m glad other people do! So. Damn. Glad. TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.


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  • thedivinemisst

    I love you for this. A whole really lot. Thank you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504951716 Tau Zaman

    I’m always really self-conscious about these stretch marks on my knees. They’re un-sexy. And people are like, “Where, I don’t see them…?” And I’m like. HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEM?!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=516594268 Michelle Long

      haha this really cracked me up

  • Megan Do

    Ryan, I love you.

  • BAM!!

    I’ve never thought about this but now I’m thinking about it I’m creeped out.

  • BAM!!

    I’ve never thought about this but now I’m thinking about it I’m creeped out.

  • Meghan

    My brain, verbatim.

  • Meghan

    My brain, verbatim.

  • http://dirtyyoungmen.wordpress.com Maxwell Chance

    Hahahaha. Yes. Awesome. Sending this to my girl who always manages to be in disbelief when I call her sexy or beautiful or bonertastic. 

  • http://kelianaya.com Keli Anaya

    I’d take you home after, oh, .5 drinks or like a snack or something.

  • Raeesa

    I totally know that feeling! I thought I was the only one!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/marion010 Marion Albion

    true. one should be aloof and carfeul with such remarks. be reserved. and sometimes puzzled. but never take it for granted

  • http://twitter.com/yanyun92 Lim Yan Yun

    the moment when someone you think is hot finds you hot.  OH THAT BEAUTIFUL MOMENT.

    • ThatGuy

      The moment you decide whether you want to ruin any possible future interactions by hooking up with them that very day or play hard to get and set up a date. Usually the former wins.

  • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

    I always feel so awkward when receiving praise either before or during intimate moments. As a modern woman I probably do have some variant of body dysmorphia, but I’ve learned the “Okay, thanks!” route is usually the best one to take.

  • Guest

    I love you Ryan.
    And maybe is not just ones body is the personality and the confidence. I don’t know you personally, unfortunately, but according to what I read you have an awesome personality and a lot of confidence so that is definitely helping! 
    Love your articles, thanks for bringing a smile to my face everyday!!

  • Alex

    Can I request “Why Would Anyone Want To Hang Out With Me?”

  • Guest

    I’d fuck me.  I’d fuck me hard.  

    ~goodbye horses~

  • Na

    I actually have BDD and I am bookmarking this.

  • jack

    gap started a creative denim loft in LA

    • thedivinemisst

      click to expand

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