These days, it’s very rare for me to actually be bored. In fact, I have to schedule it into my life like this: “Saturday afternoon—Being bored.” It’s so fun to be bored now, don’t you think? It might be better than actually doing stuff, which I’ve heard becomes overrated as you get older. If you’re lucky enough to get the chance to be bored one day, I recommend you do the following things:
Don’t leave your room. It’s where boredom essentially lives. It is your sanctuary but also your prison. On a rare day off, lay in bed or explore every nook and crevice of your surroundings. I typically like to lay on my bed facing the wall with my feet up against it. Some soft music is always playing and incense and candles are constantly burning. It’s important to make things smell good when you’re bored because it gives you something to do and who doesn’t like it when things smell like fig and amber and rich hippie?
Find new music. That’s pretty much the # 1 activity I like to do when I’m bored—surf the blogs for some new sounds. When you find something you love, it can make your boring day become the best day ever. Finding that amazing new song can keep you happy for quite awhile. When I was in high school and college, I spent most of my free time exploring new bands. Now, I don’t have time for it, which makes me feel old, sad, and out of the loop.
Eat food. Okay, you really shouldn’t do this—eating when you’re bored is a recipe for disaster and serious weight gain—but maybe you should eat a little bit just to, you know, pass the time. Munch on things like chips and crackers, things that will give you a stomachache before they actually make you feel full, and then hate yourself for the entire rest of the day. Hating yourself is a GREAT activity when you’re bored. You should try it!
Call your grandma, for the love of god! She’s obsessed with you and taking ten minutes out of your day to talk to her could make her entire month.
Your Grandma: Oh my god, is it true? Is this my grandchild calling? Do my ears deceive me?
You: No, Grandma. It is I! How are you?
Your Grandma: Oh, i’m so happy! Oh my god!
In her excitement, your grandma will accidentally shut off her phone and not know how to turn it back on, which will allow you to go back to your usual activities in a jiffy!
Think a lot. Think too much. Think about old friends or everyone that has ever loved you and feel very pensive. Take a long shower and cry. Make a ham sandwich and cry. Watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians and cry. Let it out! You got time. Ponder the things that have gotten away from you and wonder if you regret anything. Boredom leads to thinking, thinking leads to regretting, and regretting leads to tears. Yay!
Don’t change out of your pajamas. Embrace sloth. Grab it by the performance fleece.
Bask in the nothingness. Life is all about something, going from point A to point B, accomplishing certain tasks every day. Embrace it when it all stops for a second. Be happy that you aren’t accomplishing anything at the present moment. After all, if we couldn’t be bored, we probably wouldn’t be as productive. Doing nothing is what motivates us to eventually do something. So there’s your excuse to be lazy. Go.