Thought Catalog

Reasons Why I’m Going To Have Sex With You

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I’m going to have sex with you because my body is telling me to. It’s reacting positively to the sight of your face and body and it’s telling me it wants to see more. I mean, I really don’t have much of a say in this at all. It’s not personal. It’s just an erection.

I’m going to have sex with you because I need to feel good about myself today. I need to know that I’m attractive and desirable and real life people want to sleep me because I’m a powerful ~~~gOdDess~~~. If I want it, I can go get it just like I do with everything else. Think about it for a second. Is there really such a huge difference between going out and getting a fourth meal at Taco Bell because you’re hungry, and having your fourth meal be a person because you’re horny? Don’t answer that.

I’m going to have sex with you because I haven’t tortured myself enough today. I just need a little bit more before I can reach my quota and be satisfied. I’m going to enjoy having the dull conversation one has right before they jump each other’s bones. I find the absolute indifference we feel for one another when we’re not having sex to be alternately fascinating and depressing. How could I want nothing to do with you in the middle of the day and want all of you at midnight? The second you get out of bed, you stop making sense to me. In bed, you’re 1 + 1 = 2. Outside of it, you’re 1 + 1 = no fun. When you put your clothes back on, you might as well be speaking Greek to me. I only understand you when you’re naked. Can you just be naked all the time?

I’m going to have sex with you because I’m missing something and I’m not sure what it is. Maybe I miss home, maybe I miss California, maybe I miss college, maybe I miss Taco Tuesdays, maybe I miss the springtime, maybe I miss my ex-boyfriend, maybe I miss my dog. It could be anything really. I just feel a little empty dot inside and was wondering if your penis should fill it. Maybe by sleeping with you, the dot will be filled up and I won’t miss anything anymore.

I’m going to have sex with you because it’s a bad idea. We’re very good friends and I’ve been taught that sex would screw that up. But I think I need to find that out for myself. I’m going to have sex with you to find out if I can handle certain things, if I’m able to preserve sex in a little corner of my brain that’s separate from our friendship. Consider this to be like research. It’s informational sex. The Types Of Sex I May Or May Not Be Able To Handle: Part One. Taught by myself and my sex partner.

I’m going to have sex with you because you’re much older than me. Or maybe you’re much younger. Maybe I’m going to have sex with you because you have big muscles and I don’t. Maybe I’m going to have sex with you because you’re black and I’m white. Maybe I’m going to have sex with you because your body is so different than mine and I want to experience something completely foreign. I want to see and touch something I don’t have. You’re the other. I’m othering you!

I’m going to have sex with you because you have money and can give me a nice life and make me happy in really small ways. I’m having sex with you because you’re wearing Gucci loafers and I want Gucci anything. Gimme Gucci.

I’m going to have sex with you because I love you, because I know your body so well and it feels so nice and familiar. I guess that’s a relatively boring reason to have sex with someone, isn’t it? Love. Ha! There are so many reasons why people choose to have sex with someone. It’s scary how many of them involve self-serving agendas and how few involve feelings of actual love. TC mark

image – Jason White

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    • http://twitter.com/simbelsim simbel

      It was so boring I only scrolled down to see if love was there. Good to see it is :) Best reason ever.

    • please stop

      enough enough ENOUGH

      • Joe

        jesus! Just dont read them if you don’t like them!

    • Anonymous

      “In bed, you’re 1 + 1 = 2. Outside of it, you’re 1 + 1 = no fun. When you
      put your clothes back on, you might as well be speaking Greek to me. I
      only understand you when you’re naked. Can you just be naked all the
      time?” THIS.

    • Truth.

      This is entirely too accurate. 

    • http://karyninny.com/ karyn

      “I’m going to have sex with you because you have money.”when will I experience this one? *wading in a pit of broke ass fools*

      • http://profiles.google.com/mcblaloc Meghan Blalock

        i just guffawed

    • Matisse Jenkins

      Ryan makes me feel like such a virgin..

    • http://twitter.com/kaimcn Kai

      Ryan, you rock!

      I almost always have sex because it’s a bad idea

    • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

      Jesus, are people supposed to have sex and love on their minds this much?  I feel abnormal because the only thought on my mind today was how excited I was about Indian buffet.  Mmm. I can still taste it.  Let’s see sex leave that taste in your mouth. 

      • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

        If it ever does, be VERY concerned.

    • okaybro

      christ ryan some of your pieces are good but william fucking shakespeare could not keep up such an absurd posting quota.

      not every banal thought that crosses your mind needs to be posted on thought catalog. “i only wanna have sex with you because you’re rich and like ohhh my gooddd i know right ur so hot and then i’m just like why don’t you get naked liek rite nao mmmk gurlfriend?!?!”

      • Jordan

        Yeah, not even Ryan solely, but TC has become like a 500-800 word Twitter for most contributors.  They joke about their affected 15 year old LiveJournals, but really they still have them.

        • http://twitter.com/kyleangeletti Kyle Angeletti

          Agreed – either my age bracket is no longer the target demographic or this site got really fucking boring. 

    • Eatapplesallday

      Perfect. I love your articles, Ryan.

    • http://www.facebook.com/hannaraddness Hanna Nichole Mullins

      Oh, lol. 

    • CC

      I was loling until I got to the end. way to kill the buzz with love, Ryan. GUCCI FOREVER. 

    • christine

      I’m so sad that TC puts up so many articles that sound so alike all by the same 4 or 5 people.

      Ryan, I love you but I miss the variety on TC…

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=508371039 Rayan Khayat

        I also feel like sometimes a lot of articles are too personal to be interesting

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=709095560 André Philippe Leblond

      I’m going to have sex with you because life is only too short to not have sex. 

    • http://twitter.com/nanabuuui Anna B

      I miss Taco Tuesdays, too. Did you know they have Chicken Soft Taco Thursdays now, too? :]

    • http://dirtyyoungmen.wordpress.com Maxwell Chance

      I love everyone. My sex is justified. 

    • http://twitter.com/FeHaciente Fernanda Cortes

      Whatever the reason why “I’m having sex with you” in the world is. I just care that it’s my -are my- reason-s. I really liked it, even the writting, too many articles and stuff. 

    • http://twitter.com/FeHaciente Fernanda Cortes

      Whatever the reason why “I’m having sex with you” in the world is. I just care that it’s my -are my- reason-s. I really liked it, even the writting, too many articles and stuff. 

    • http://www.lizamae.com Liza Mae

      ” I just feel a little empty dot inside and was wondering if your penis should fill it. Maybe by sleeping with you, the dot will be filled up and I won’t miss anything anymore.”
      This made me :)  … Though this is a temporary feeling, it feels great at the time.  You just need a little filling at times.

    • Kait

      I’m othering you!

    • Kait

      I’m othering you!

    • Smarls789

      Once you read the ending it’s actually not that bad

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