5 Ways To Lose Followers On Twitter

Feeling loaded down by all of your followers? Never fear! Here are five surefire ways to get them to jump ship! Don’t ever say I didn’t give you anything…

1. Retweet random people every five minutes

In case you didn’t know, people hate to follow a constant retweeter. And who can blame them? People follow you for YOUR thoughts and opinions, not some random dude in Iowa who you think has a funny Twitter account. So cut it out! Unless you don’t want followers. In which case, start retweeting the weirdest stuff. Retweet a girl with the Twitter handle “suNShIneFlorIdaGurl” when she tweets, “it’s so hot out today! :(” In fact, just retweet her entire tweetography. Your followers will think you’re having a nervous breakdown (the unfunny kind) and start unfollowing you immediately.

2. Tweet about really gross explicit things

People hate it when masturbation and poop gets tweeted about. I’m not really sure why (I love it!) but they will unfollow you if you ever get T.M.I. with them. I once tweeted about masturbation and poop in one tweet (imagine!) and all of a sudden, my Twitter became a ghost town. I think 20 people unfollowed me. I wanted to tweet, “Um, is anyone out there?” but ultimately decided against it. The cool thing about Twitter is that you get to see what people respond to and what they instantly reject. Sometimes you think a tweet will go over well, only to find out that it bombed, which makes you sit back and think, “Why did my tweet about being a Virgo get 30 retweets and my tweet about pooping in Soho only get one?” Better understanding humanity one tweet at a time.

3. Tweet too much

This is the most obvious way to get someone to unfollow you. If you tweet every 20 minutes, people will get annoyed and run away screaming. For me, this website is meant to be used as a collection of your wittiest thoughts but most tweeters obviously don’t agree with me. They use it to update their every move (“at whole foods getting some food….at home unwinding…..bored at home….going to bed”). Unless these people are famous, they will never have a lot of followers so just follow their hideous example if you ever want to shed some virtual weight.

4. Tweet @ your friends with inside jokes no one else will understand

Twitter can sometimes feel like a high school cafeteria. You join and start tweeting, but you’re not sure which table you should sit at. You have the comedy writers who have like 8 million followers and won’t even dare follow you/tweet at you, you have nightlife personalities who just tweet about which club they’re going to that night and then you have everyone else existing in virtual subcultures. People who have medium followings on Twitter can sometimes be the worst because they think they’re famous enough for people to care about the inside jokes and activities they do with their BFF. “Going with the dark crew to the MoMa opening.” Dark crew? Who’s that? Who are YOU? Where am I? If you want people to unfollow you, just use your Twitter as a place to communicate with your friends in ways that most people won’t understand.

5. Post a lot of links to news stories

Some people use Twitter as a place to share interesting links, which is great, I love that for them, but it might come off as dull to the average follower. Posting the fifth article from The New York Times about brainwaves is really going to turn some people off so do it! Link away! Maybe even include a lot of stories about politics. Politics and Twitter are like weird awkward enemies. Mention the crappy economy and Obama and you’re bound to lose a few people. TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=707272007 Alex Thayer

    6. don’t be ryan o’connell

    that guy has millions

  • Megan Do

    6. Tweet cryptic things targeted at your ex-girlfriend who also happens to follow you.

  • Chels

    1. retweeting actuallly interesting/funny/insightful tweets let’s you shine a light on someone other than YOURSELF, Twitter has enough self-obsession already. It also breaks up your own style and voice, and let’s you connect with others, which is what Twitter is supposed to be about in the first place. It’s called social media for a reason. And when I retweet, it’s because it is worth retweeting not because “it’s so hot out today :(”

    2. tweeting about gross explicit things- if you haven’t noticed, those who tweet the most ballsy, disgusting, slutty, in-your-face, tweets- have the most followers (a.k.a strippers, comedians, etc). Not saying I would typically tweet “explicit” statements, but your whole “if you do this, you’ll lose twitter followers” is way off on this one. 

    3. tweet too much-Yes I agree this is annoying, but in regards to loosing followers… if you notice, the people who have the most twitter followers (unless they are famous/ semi-famous) have over 8,000 tweets and average around 20 tweets a day. Once again, social media, requires being social..

    4.  replies to your friends- This one may be the closest to the truth in regards to losing twitter followers. 

    5. Posting link to news stories- Maybe this will lose YOU as a follower, but some people consider it valid & interesting to actually be up-to-date on the happenings in the world. 

    -I don’t care what shit I get for this, I had to… 

    Also, the whole ‘5 reasons’ thing is getting a little old, just saying. 

    Oh and yes, I am bored at work right now. 

  • Amber

    Also: don’t link your Foursquare up to Twitter and then proceed to check in at every bus stop and spin class  within 50 miles. I don’t care that you went to six different clubs in the Meatpacking District tonight. Really, I don’t.

  • guest

    “For me, this website is meant to be used as a collection of your wittiest thoughts but most tweeters obviously don’t agree with me.”
    i would be one of the tweeters who don’t agree. posting a witty tweet is fine and all, but i find it a little off-putting when someone’s timeline is FILLED with supposedly witty tweets. it just seems as though that person’s trying too hard. but maybe that’s just me.

  • Rachel Butters Scotch

    All of my friends who have Twitter use it to tweet their most passive aggressive thoughts. Seems like a winning strategy.

    • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

      #winning

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    I thought it was a social media site!

  • Arkhatron

    ABSOLUTELY TRUE… all that is said in this article is SO true!!! I honestly stop following people BECAUSE of those things. Ryan – You Rock! (like a hurricane lol)

  • http://michaelynch.com Michael Lynch

    I’m guilty of 1 and 5. I retweet anything I think has the slightest bit of value – anything that is funny, interesting or clever. I think your retweets can show your followers a lot about you – what you find to be funny, interesting or clever for instance (and of course that could pertain to numerous subjects).

    I’ve always had the ‘sharing is caring’ mentality. I mean, a tweet supposedly only lasts 40 seconds so who really cares how often you tweet (as long as the tweet holds some value, unlike the ‘I’m at the grocery store’ kind of tweet you mentioned – that’s just useless)?

    I think it’s safe to assume that not all your tweets will be read by someone so if you place that much value on them you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.

  • Vjones226

    If it were not for Twitter or Facebook I never would have known about Thought Catalog. I so enjoy reading everything posted here. This is one diverse group of young people with creative original thought. I do not post often on either account but I do read everything out there. Keep posting. I love it!

  • http://www.candicepayne.com Candice

    Nah. There’s one main way to lose followers: start behaving differently from how you did when those people first followed you.

  • http://saltwatercoffee.wordpress.com/ Sara K

    #Dark Crew

    • Guest

      seems dark

  • http://saltwatercoffee.wordpress.com/ Sara K

    #Dark Crew

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