Thought Catalog

5 Lies Carrie Bradshaw Told Me

  • 0

1. People have lots of sex in New York

Um, no they don’t. Or maybe they actually do and my invite to the casual sex lifestyle just got lost in the mail. Carrie and her friends made it seem like people were just constantly sleeping with someone new. Each episode would revolve around the new person they were dating and the problems that were arising (“He lives at home with his parents”, “he has anger management issues”, “his dick is too big”}. When they would go to their weekly court-mandated brunch, they would start off with saying, “So this new guy I’ve been seeing…” How many guys can you see in New York?! I know this is TV and the premise of the show is about dating in NYC, but their unrealistic dating lives planted false hope in the Diana’s and Brittany’s of Iowa who moved here to work in fashion PR and live la vida Bradshaw. These version 2.0’s would show up to brunch empty-handed with dating stories. “So, uh, this week someone fondled my breasts on the subway. I thought about calling 911…” Dejected, they leave brunch in fugue hoping to accidentally/on purpose run into a man on the street that they can date casually for a week and discuss at the next brunch. It’s Carrie’s fault. When in doubt, blame Carrie.

2. You can thrive financially in the city just by writing a column a week about your life

Perhaps the most unrealistic aspect of the show was Carrie’s lax work schedule. Homegirl only had to write one column a week in a crappy newspaper and still managed to make rent, buy designer clothing, and eat out at fabulous restaurants. No wonder she had to whore herself out to Mr. Big. She needed to make ends meet! I always wondered why the emotionally unavailable old fart was even an option in her love life. Then I saw his apartment, his limos, and his general “I’m going to pay you to have sex with me” attitude and immediately understood. My favorite episode of the series is when they acknowledge that Carrie is terrible with money and none of her friends want to lend her money. It was a rare moment of honesty for the show, a real unusual dose of reality for the otherwise fantasy-obsessed plot. Of course, her debt and impending doom was quickly fixed by a band-aid and a blowjob to Mr. Big but whatever.

3. It’s typical to have such a diverse array of friends!

What worked about Sex and The City was that it successfully included every female archetype. There was the promiscuous one, the WASPy prude, the intelligent cynic, and the self-absorbed nightmare. Now, people go around saying silly things like, “I was a total Samantha last night. I’m bad! I’m usually a Miranda with like a hint of Charlotte but I was wasted and Samantha came out!” Here’s the deal: These girls would never all be friends IRL. Samantha would punch Charlotte in the face and Miranda would be like “k bye” whenever Samantha opened her mouth. And everyone would hate Carrie because she’s a terrible person.

4. No one has families!

An interesting aspect of the show was that it rarely discussed any of the girls’ families. Besides Miranda’s mother dying, their parents never got a mention. Samantha, for example, was believed to have just been born a power PR chick on the streets of Manhattan. This refusal to discuss the girls’ lives before they came to New York is a fascinating deliberate choice. It really reinstates the bond between the women (Remember girls! We only have each other because we’re not allowed to have parents!) and creates a sense of claustrophobia in the city. In Sex and the City, New York really is the only place in the world.

5. I can be a really bad person and still have tons of friends!

Carrie Bradshaw is a no good, very terrible, bad person. She rivals Jenny Schecter from The L Word in terms of insufferableness but, unlike Jenny, she somehow still manages to have tons of friends. No one calls Carrie out on her insane self-absorption. They just let her interrupt their story about having cancer to say that she’s feeling distant from Mr. Big. I don’t get it, girls. Is Carrie secretly paying your rent in exchange for hang out sessions? Someone please tell her to shut up and change into a less ridiculous outfit. TC mark

image – Sex and the City
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More From Thought Catalog

  • Liz

    Having sex with a soul mate is the ultimate, having casual sex is women being used by men and it’s not cute, sexy, intriguing, liberating, or anything positive, it’s boring and tasteless and well the only good thing about it is you might get a free meal or something but it’s not worth it. At all. Wait, maybe I’m wrong, it can be good. Having multiple partners I guess is good. Who cares? Why am I writing about this? I still feel like I’m 12 years old and having sex is for people who want to have babies. Fuck the sexual revolution in the ass.

    • http://twitter.com/brooklyknight David Trahan

      having casual sex is women being used by men? Get your head out of all the feminist literature and look at reality. 

      • spinflux

        Fuck that. I’m a feminist and we don’t slut-shame. Everything that Liz bothered typing is complete garbage. My guess is she’s still living with her  Christian parents. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jacob-Marek/696640989 Jacob Marek

      pretty sure casual sex goes both ways; each person is using the other — no better, no worse.  as david said, look at reality.

      • lucyao

        david, that’s not feminist. it’s close minded bull shit. a woman can do whatever she wants with her body.

    • Stefan

      is this satire. are you satire? is this comment for real?

      you might still be 12 years old if: you think (heterosexual) casual sex is sweet, innocent girls being “used” by some creepster dude who might, however, give you a free meal.

      is anything for serious anymore? I can’t tell at all with this site or its commenters.

    • Guest

      REAL???  TROLLIN’???

  • KendallF

    This is completely accurate. 

  • KendallF

    This is completely accurate. 

  • liz

    Wow, tv shows aren’t real? Really? I thought they were factual. The totally perfect people who are never naked, ever, and the weirdly unchanging sets and perfect camera angles totally had me fooled. You know what else is so real? Law and Order. There should be an article about how that…wait.

  • http://twitter.com/brodielancaster Brodie Lancaster

    I love you for comparing Carrie to Jenny. Bitches be trippin’.
    Also, for the lead in a show about female friendships, Carrie is a ridiculously bad friend.

  • http://twitter.com/brooklyknight David Trahan

    People in NYC definitely have a lot of sex. Maybe not everyone…. but a lot of people. It’s more about being part of a type of scene that gets you lots of sex, but that Carrie lesson, in my mind, is totally true.

    Also, You can have diverse groups of friends if you don’t just go to the same places all the other people just like you go. NYC if full of diversity. Get out of Murray Hill and maybe you’ll find it.

  • Mashka

    Amen! Carrie sucks. Seriously when I was in high school and naive, it was like “omg Carrie is so fun and quirky I wish I had her life lololol” now as I re-watch the episodes I’m like “holy shit girl is cray cray why would any guy waste their time with her (i’m looking at you Aiden) and why don’t her friends call her out on being such an alienating self-absorbed neurotic biiitch”

    Hindsight, man.

  • http://twitter.com/bowendesign Benedict Bowen

    Brilliant. Although about ten years too late. But brilliant nonetheless.

  • http://profiles.google.com/salier.diana.a Diana Salier

    Samantha would punch Charlotte in the face and Miranda would be like “k bye” whenever Samantha opened her mouth.

    LOL
    but yeah…who thought satc was real lyfe anyway?

    • http://twitter.com/kaimcn Kai

      Too many people!!

  • Mashka

    Also might I mention that Samantha is so overlooked when in fact she was probably the most genuine on the show, and was probably the best friend to all of the girls. Who cares if she bones a lot of dudes- more power to her.

    She’s such a great example of female empowerment in my opinion- the focus should have been shifted toward her rather than Carrie. I feel like it wasn’t simply because she was known for casual promiscuous sex. But Samantha was the one who owned being single, independent and ultimately 50+ and still fabulous. She ran her own company, didn’t take shit from anyone and never put up with getting walked all over by any guy. Miranda I suppose is a close second however Miranda tended to make passive aggressive remarks about her single-ness (i.e. when she was applying for a new apartment and griping about checking “single” boxes on the application, etc) while Samantha doesn’t complain about it, she owns it and loves it.

    As shitty as the second SATC movie was, I have to note the line she uttered to Smith- “I love you- but I love me more”. You go girl

    • Anonymous

      She said that line in the first movie near the end in their beach house. He comes back and she is standing there waiting for him to come home so she can break up with him.
      Also, Charlotte and Samantha were BARELY friends.

      • mashka

        Oh yeah my bad, sorry I get the two movies mixed up. And who cares if they weren’t that close, I still stand by it that Samantha was a better friend than any of them were.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EUL6B7WZUNAHGMO5KRCKZTGP54 Damen Handle

    This is fairly true. Except I have to make a comment:

    “In Sex and the City, New York really is the only place in the world.”

    Sounds like TC, no?

    • Anonymous

      IT IS THE ONLY PLACE IN THE WORLD, SO.

      jk.

      but also sort of not jk.

      • Guest

        but if you’re not jk you’re a dick

  • Guest

    How many times do we have to read this same article? I think that seven years after the series ended, everyone has come to terms that Sex and the City is not real life – except for the writers of TC.

    Let it go.

  • http://twitter.com/kaimcn Kai

    I’m going to feel shamed about this, but in the episode where Carrie is broke, she’s actually bailed out by Charlotte giving her the engagement ring she got from her first husband. A family heirloom if I remember right.

    Still gross though. Anyone who says “I’m a Carrie” (or really any character of this show),  should cause you to run away screaming. Nathan Lane’s character is a notable exception.

    • Mashka

      omg that episode was like, the last straw for me. Carrie was so insufferable. She marched over to Charlotte’s apartment and ridiculed her for not giving her money? Um what. 

      • http://twitter.com/kaimcn Kai

        RIGHT?! It’s awesome when a friend can help you out but NO ONE is obligated to give you money because you have some $50 000 worth of shoes and really really like your apartment that you can’t afford. And then that Charlotte responded by caving, instead of writing off the friendship. No wonder our generation feels so entitled.

    • IntensivePurposes

      further shame: i know it wasn’t a family heirloom.  trey bought it for her from tiffany.

      • http://twitter.com/kaimcn Kai

        Ok, I would give (lend, whatever) a family heirloom (“not MY family”, says the dickish person voice in my brain) but I would never give away Tiffany’s. And I don’t even like diamonds!

  • Anonymous Hippo

    we’re still talking about SATC?

  • http://twitter.com/LadyBlueShame ✔ Lady Blue

    Ryan, is this your stab at what I already did here? http://www.blueshame.com/2011/02/sex-and-city-part-une.html

    Hmmm? ;) Good post.

    • Anon

      Gratuitous winky face why

  • http://karyninny.com/ karyn

    #1: um, yes they do. 

  • Anonymous

    Just sayin’, I notably remember in several episodes that Carrie does not take the subway unless she is dead flat broke. LIES WHO CAN AFFORD CABS THESE AND THOSE DAYS

  • Anonymous

    The show was created and written by gay men. My gay friends told me that that was how some, not all, gay men acted in a NYC club lifestyle. Darren Star and the main writer guy whose name I can never remember, basically took their lives as 20 something struggling writers in MYC and turned it into a show about 4 women.

    The real damn lie that damn show told was that women could act emotionally immature and bat crap crazy and still get men of their dreams. I was mostly married during the run of that show, but when I single, I ran into women who acted or patterned their lifestyles after those 4 characters. To see them bitter, cynical, lonely, and dateless in their 30s and reaching 40 was sad.

    good blog post

  • Anonymous

    The show was created and written by gay men. My gay friends told me that that was how some, not all, gay men acted in a NYC club lifestyle. Darren Star and the main writer guy whose name I can never remember, basically took their lives as 20 something struggling writers in MYC and turned it into a show about 4 women.

    The real damn lie that damn show told was that women could act emotionally immature and bat crap crazy and still get men of their dreams. I was mostly married during the run of that show, but when I single, I ran into women who acted or patterned their lifestyles after those 4 characters. To see them bitter, cynical, lonely, and dateless in their 30s and reaching 40 was sad.

    good blog post

    • Phil Major

      “Mostly married”.

    • Anonymous

      It was based on the Candace Bushnell book, babe. The concepts of the characters were fairly cemented concepts already.

  • http://hotfemmeinthecity.wordpress.com/ natasia

    If the show was like real life, it would be boring. That’s why people watch TV. Just saying! 

    • GJ

      Here here!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_EUL6B7WZUNAHGMO5KRCKZTGP54 Damen Handle

      But that’s why everyone loves and raves about Friday Night Lights! And by everyone I mean the 19 people who watch it.

  • http://twitter.com/bethanie_m Bethanie Marshall

    Don’t forget the lie about an Upper east Side apartment by Barney’s for $700 a month, fucking absurd.

    • Anonymous

      Rent control that she got in the early 90s . . . slight possibility. I got a steal recently.

  • Chelc Williams

    Favorite part is that Carrie is an awful person. I’ve basically watched every episode and think she is a terrible human being.

  • r0semarysays

    Love you, Ryan, but it seems like this entire post was kinda bitten of a much funnier one by The Frenemycalled “Carrie Bradshaw Math”  http://the-frenemy.com/post/5366472538/carrie-bradshaw-math

  • FOKJOU

    She also taught me that Marlboro Lights are weak as balls cigarettes and that it’s easy to quit smoking. 

  • http://twitter.com/heycunthead Ben

    I adore Carrie, but she’s such an awful cunt. I couldn’t be friends with her in real life.

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