Why You’ll Never See A Naked Picture Of Me On The Internet

In today’s dating world, you have to be prepared to pose naked for the camera. Many of my girlfriends have admitted to sending nudes to their boyfriends, and my reaction is always the same: “Wait, what? Doesn’t that terrify you? Your vagina could potentially get viewed by the entire internet!”

I can’t, I don’t, I won’t send naked pictures of myself to someone. Call me a Paranoid Patty or a modest mouse, but the thought of a spurned ex-lover of mine posting them on the internet one day scares the crap out of me. I felt like this was an obvious reaction to have but the more I talk to my friends about it, I begin to understand that I’m in the minority. I’m told that everyone sends nudes. It’s normal. You miss your BF/GF so you send a pic of your boobs or dick to cheer them up. Duh. Why wouldn’t you?!

Um, I can think of a million reasons. I know firsthand how insane shit can get when you break up with someone. You trust them with everything, you don’t think twice about pressing the send button on that pic of your naked body and then voila, your relationship turns sour and you have an ex who wants revenge. Obviously anyone who releases naked pictures of their ex has a serious V for vendetta and deserves to rot in some hell. However, I can’t say it surprises me. Love makes you do crazy things. When it’s good, it’s great. But when it’s bad, you can be driven to do some terrible things. I don’t trust the heart. I don’t trust emotions. I love you honey, but you could hate me one day and that makes me very scared.

Am I being cray cray though? Like I said, I’m in the minority here so maybe I’m just being too much of a shy gurl. Although I really think I shouldn’t feel bad if I don’t want to send you a pic of me naked in the mirror. I SHOULDN’T FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS.

At the end of the day, I’m just a big ol’ hypocrite because you can show me yours even if I don’t show you mine. Translation: Keep the noods coming. I’ll send you back a big ol’ smiley face. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

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