Why You’ll Never See A Naked Picture Of Me On The Internet

In today’s dating world, you have to be prepared to pose naked for the camera. Many of my girlfriends have admitted to sending nudes to their boyfriends, and my reaction is always the same: “Wait, what? Doesn’t that terrify you? Your vagina could potentially get viewed by the entire internet!”

I can’t, I don’t, I won’t send naked pictures of myself to someone. Call me a Paranoid Patty or a modest mouse, but the thought of a spurned ex-lover of mine posting them on the internet one day scares the crap out of me. I felt like this was an obvious reaction to have but the more I talk to my friends about it, I begin to understand that I’m in the minority. I’m told that everyone sends nudes. It’s normal. You miss your BF/GF so you send a pic of your boobs or dick to cheer them up. Duh. Why wouldn’t you?!

Um, I can think of a million reasons. I know firsthand how insane shit can get when you break up with someone. You trust them with everything, you don’t think twice about pressing the send button on that pic of your naked body and then voila, your relationship turns sour and you have an ex who wants revenge. Obviously anyone who releases naked pictures of their ex has a serious V for vendetta and deserves to rot in some hell. However, I can’t say it surprises me. Love makes you do crazy things. When it’s good, it’s great. But when it’s bad, you can be driven to do some terrible things. I don’t trust the heart. I don’t trust emotions. I love you honey, but you could hate me one day and that makes me very scared.

Am I being cray cray though? Like I said, I’m in the minority here so maybe I’m just being too much of a shy gurl. Although I really think I shouldn’t feel bad if I don’t want to send you a pic of me naked in the mirror. I SHOULDN’T FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS.

At the end of the day, I’m just a big ol’ hypocrite because you can show me yours even if I don’t show you mine. Translation: Keep the noods coming. I’ll send you back a big ol’ smiley face. TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

More From Thought Catalog

  • http://www.oneyearintexas.com Perfect Circles

    I would never release a naked picture of a lover, ever, under any circumstances.  And so I only want to date people who I feel have that same principle.  I still haven’t found one.

    • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

      Good luck with that, seeing how everyone & their mom owns a camera phone.

  • http://www.oneyearintexas.com Perfect Circles

    I would never release a naked picture of a lover, ever, under any circumstances.  And so I only want to date people who I feel have that same principle.  I still haven’t found one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1606470105 Xaxira Nathalya Velasco

    I definitely would never do that, so I guess I’m part of the “minority” as well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1606470105 Xaxira Nathalya Velasco

    I definitely would never do that, so I guess I’m part of the “minority” as well.

  • Anonymous

    Not to be a pendant, 

    but I believe that most style guides suggest that “cray cray” is hyphenated. 

    • Francesca

      Not to be a pedant, but I do wonder how one would behave as a pendant.

      • Hmmm

        ying yang symbol def

    • Brononymous

      Not to be pedantic, but I don’t think you meant pendant…

    • Anonymous

      well i certainly did get mine.

      or to put it more eloquently,

      fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

  • Andrew Edminister

    OK. Thought Catalog. This? Ryan are you an editor or something? Are you in bed with the editor? 

    • Ryan O'Connell

      yes beb im in bed with myself. and sometimes BSG. and ALWAYS kat george.

      • Anonymous

        pics?

      • Hmmm

        I think I am learning to like her more bc she likes Buffy, but like you seem to have your head on so right when it comes to ladyissues maybe that will rub off on her when y’all are in bed together?

    • Asdf

      I just find most of his lede pictures incredibly annoying.

  • Anonymous

    you’re absolutely right, don’t ever do it

  • http://twitter.com/no_cazador hunter ray

    Never sent nudes, but I guess I just don’t really give a shit whether or not the world sees me naked.

  • Andrew Edminister

    TC should be renamed ‘Ryan O’Connell’s Diary’ LOLLLZ

    • Brononymous

      ryan o’connell’s diary <3

    • Burger King

      Ryan O’Connell’s Dairy

  • Mary

    You are correct. 

  • Piscodaemon

    Why would an ex-lover keep your photos anyways? 

    If I hated them that much I’d just delete the pictures and get off to someone hotter.

    • http://twitter.com/no_cazador hunter ray

      nah dawg having their image in a compromising position is like power. like you have a piece of them they don’t give to every one.

    • http://twitter.com/no_cazador hunter ray

      and like when you hate someone you want to have like power over them right? right???

  • Julie

    You don’t think that having your name tied to crap like this is just as humiliating?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=201002708 Alyssa Johnston

      Oooh burn. That’s so harsh I can’t help but like it.

  • http://twitter.com/cream_dreamz Stephanie Jones

    tits or gtfo

  • http://profiles.google.com/tturadr Alex Hamilton

    i only send Tobias Fünke cut off pics ;)

    • klaus

      I send Zac Braff cut off pics.

    • EP

      Or you could send the accidental ball pics like Tobias and create a worldwide scandal. “We’re looking at balls.”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_Z4ZPFYUCXMJKI6KIE3EBVZJWTQ Merle Torres

    I paid $32.67 for a XBOX 360 and my mom got a 17 inch Toshiba laptop for $94.83 being delivered to our house tomorrow by FedEX. I will never again pay expensive retail prices at stores. I even sold a 46 inch HDTV to my boss for $650 and it only cost me $52.78 to get. Here is the website we using to get all this stuff, LiveCent.com

  • Andrew Edminister

    fuck you merle torres

  • http://www.facebook.com/iamahmad Ahmad Radheyyan

    Someone just requested nudes on my tumblr. I should have replied with this article. Except the article wasn’t out yet. Translation = write faster.

    • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

      couldn’t you just say, “no n00dz, sry”

      and have it be, like, the same thing?

      i am JUST SAYING

  • klaus

    This was enough, I’m done.

  • Ryan you are smart.

    I think people in creative professions shouldn’t have to worry about this as much as people who want to be able to keep their options open for having fancy white collar jobs and/or government work and/or public office.

    Also agree it is commonplace but maybe it is common amongst the same
    crowd who have really bad taste in everything temp guy at work asked me
    to recommend him for a new position 40 seconds after telling me all
    about his technique for the most flattering angles for dickpics. He did
    not get the recommendation.

    That said, totally never do it! Scorned lovers = crazy! I am so glad I
    have embarrassing naked pics of a guy who cheated on me. I would never
    ever send them out, but I love having them as leverage.

    • klaus

      >>>>”I would never ever send them out, but I love having them as leverage”

      You’re psychotic.

      • Hmmm

        and that is why you don’t send them duhhh

  • klaus

    After I get groped by a TSA agent I get back on the scanner line to leave him/her a naked picture of myself. That’s how I roll.

    • Asdf

      I just grope back. We get into a ol’ fashion groping match. It’s quite fun. Try it sometime.

  • http://www.facebook.com/grc15r Gregory Costa

    I don’t look good with clothes on, so why would I take photos with my clothes off? 

    • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

      Big ups to you for knowing that!

    • guesty

      I don’t look good with clothes on, but I think I look okay naked.

  • Tor

    I’m sending this to someone who’s been asking for nudes for a while and can’t understand why I won’t :)

  • Rainie

    Agree with you; also agree that we are apparently the minority. 

  • the sexiest guest

    Dear Ryan,
    Turn straight plz :X
    <3 straight girlz

    • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

      Disagree.

  • Reallyyyydude

    Cool story, bro.

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