Ten Reasons Why You Should Get Over Your Ex

1. Chances are they’ve already moved on. They picked themselves up already and go through entire days without thinking of you. Their new Facebook album is pictures of them skiing in Colorado with friends. I’ve looked through all of them and they’re totally sporting an “Over it” face. In an ideal world, you’d be the one skiing the slopes of I Don’t Care mountain, but you’re not. You’re still paralyzed. The quickest way to regain feeling, however, is knowing that your ex is moving forward. You don’t want to be the one ghost haunting the relationship that everyone else forgot, do you?
2. Mourning a relationship is a full time job. Caring is exhausting. You owe it to yourself to lighten your load by beginning the healing process. Life is not a Drew Barrymore break up movie. Put away the ice cream. You want to hurt your ex, not yourself.
3. You find comfort in still grieving the relationship, don’t you? Holding on to their memory somehow feels comfortably uncomfortable and getting over it feels terrifying instead of a relief. Because that means they’re gone for good, that the relationship is actually over. No, you think you’re not ready for that. One more mope session please. You don’t want to be cut off! Except, hi, you need to. Becoming addicted to the grief is a scary reality and it should be incentive enough to get your ass in gear.
4. Your friends will start to hate you. Every time you mention your ex’s name, they will roll their eyes and be like, “K, stop. This egg roll we’re eating shouldn’t have reminded you of your ex.” It’s your friends’ job to help see you through this horrible time but it’s also their duty to tell you to get the hell over it.
5. You don’t want to hate yourself. Moping over your ex is the fastest way to get to self-loathing. You’ll beat yourself up and think you’re pathetic and lame. This kind of thinking will only get you further into the k hole that is self-hatred. Own the fact that you’re bummed while still making a concentrated effort to get out of the funk.
6. Wanna get laid? Good luck trying if you’re still spending your nights looking at old photos of your ex on your computer and crying yourself to sleep. No one will want to tap that when you’re in that state of mind. And the ones that do are creepy and like to advantage of people in a vulnerable state. You’re not going to get screwed when you feel screwed.
7. You can stop relating to cheesy songs about heartbreak and sexist rom-coms. You don’t want to ever relate to a character Katherine Heigl has played and you shouldn’t ever listen to a Dashboard Confessional song and think, “Hmm, Chris Carraba was on to something here.”
8. You can feel empowered again. Realizing that you’re a strong person who can overcome a mountain of shit is liberating. You spend so much of our time feeling powerless and letting certain people/things control our moods. The moment you reclaim that power and discover that you can heal yourself will be life-altering.
9. You can run into your ex in public without feeling like you’re going to die. You can tell them, “Oh, I saw those pics of you skiing on I Don’t Care Mountain the other day. I went there last week! Byeeee.”
10. You can have the beauty of hindsight. Now that you’re no longer in the throes of the relationship, you can actually see things for what they were and be like, “J/K, it wasn’t that great.”

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