Alcohol Is The Devil

Throughout my life, I’ve done my fair share of drug experimentation. I dipped my feet in the coke pool (too chatty and  annoying), took salvia (if only in an attempt to be closer to Miley), and even took the pill equivalent of heroin once (File it under “The Stupid Things You Do When We’re 21 And Having Too Much Fun”). So yeah. I’ve been there, swallowed and sniffed that. Wanna know what the worst thing I ever tried was though? The thing that made me temporarily go insane, put my life in danger and caused me to vomit for 24 hours? Alcohol. Alcohol was the craziest and most harmful thing I ever tried. At the end of the day, drinking an excess amount of whiskey has nothing on a few lines of blow.

Alcohol is the devil. It swallows people up completely. I’ve seen my drunk friends completely lose their personality and become transformed during a night of heavy drinking. If they happen to blackout, it’s like they don’t live in their own bodies anymore. Someone else has invaded and this someone is a scary life-ruining trainwreck.

Alcohol leads to bad and potentially life-threatening decisions. Any altered state impairs your judgement but alcohol seems to do so with gusto and social acceptability. The culture surrounding drinking is partially what makes it so dangerous. When you’re drunk, it’s your job to behave recklessly. You can do things you never would normally do when sober and it’s met with fanfare from your friends. Sleep with a complete stranger at a club and your friends will encourage the bad behavior. Pee in public, run across the street without looking both ways and eat shit on the ground—these are celebrated activities amongst the drunk. The whole drinking game is to push things as far as you can take them. But what happens if it pushes back?

Alcohol has led me to sleep with a few people I never would have touched while sober, and I can tell you that the feeling of shame that swirls around your Hangover Bed  has been worse than any drug comedown I’ve experienced. Alcohol has also definitely put my life in danger. I’ve done things that are sketchy and am thankful to have been able to exit alive—the only casualty being my dignity, of course. Alcohol makes you its bitch. It takes your personality, remixes it and laughs at the new version of you. Now, I’m actually what you would call a good drunk. I don’t cry or yell. I’m just me. But drunk. However, booze has still screwed me. I have actually not met a single person it hasn’t screwed—even the ones like myself who can handle it.

Drugs have a stigma attached to them that alcohol doesn’t. Why? Because they’re illegal and alcohol isn’t. People hide behind its legality like a shield. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve met who are complete alcoholics but have judged me for taking drugs. These are the people who have never touched pot but drink every single night to excess. Which do you think is better for you? Binge drinking or being a recreational drug user? Who do you think makes more mistakes and feels more bad about themselves?

Drugs and alcohol are obviously both bad for you. This is not a “YAY DRUGS AND BOO ALCOHOL” post. Doing anything too much is detrimental. And drugs can kill you quicker than alcohol. I guess Im just sick and tired of  alcohol being seen as NBD simply because it’s legal and celebrated in our society. Doing the occasional drug never caused me to sleep with someone disgusting, vomit bile for a whole day or consume 4,000 calories in a single sitting (well…). Like with everything, it’s all good in moderation. If you can drink a handle of vodka and puke on the street while having people cheer you on, why can’t I take a bar of Xanax while watching Buffy in the comfort of my own home? Get off your high horses, you drunks! TC mark

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.


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  • kate

    omg. what is this PSA? such a bummer.

  • abby

    xanax and buffy sounds like the best combo ever. completely on board with this post :)

  • Alex Thayer

    power to the people

  • Guest

    Four Loko is legal and pot isn't. Go figure.

    • Michael Koh

      new four loko is not-quite-four loko

  • Kelsea

    So relevant as I just happened to throw up egg salad because I drank a lot of whiskey last night. Hee hee.

  • Bots kent

    True about the drug hangovers never being as bad or as bummer as they after the morning after drinking, even prefer ekky depression over the bottle

  • Alison

    Not to sound like a PSA? Guess I got it wrong because I thought it was one.

  • wackomet

    alcohol is a drug

  • Jillypants

    apparently the people i know are really lame when they drink because all i ever see is dancing, playing games, and the occasional sing-a-long. no one cries, no one tries to kill themselves, no one bleeds, no one fights. we may puke but i'm ok with that because i'd rather a hangover than a heroin addiction.

  • duder

    Read this article because thought that dude by the toilet was me. He's a douche.

  • guest

    i feel really guilty/conflicted reading this drunk…

    • victoria trott


  • jack

    can you recommend something else for me?
    “i need a new drug”

    • Eria

      how about 12 step program? :D

  • statusandapager

    “pill equivalent of heroin” what

    • Jessica Blankenship

      if you have to ask, you'll never know.
      (and because i insist of sourcing my quotes of cuntery:

      • Jordan

        Not with responses like that.  Too cool for school.

        But someone else hypothesized he was talking about oxycontin

      • PrymaLScReam

        Most likely Roxicodone. Same shit as Oxycontin (Oxycodone), but you can crush those up into a fine powder in like a minute, sniff sniff, and BOOM.  Ten to fifteen minutes later, nothing else but that feeling is even a remote concern of yours. It's a little more effort to take the time release coating off the OCs, and Roxys are infinitely more available these days (at least where I'm around). But yeah, I know a handful of ex dope fiends who gave up the brown for the blues when they moved down to the Sunshine State. Hillbilly Heroin.

        Those things are no joke, though. Just like benzos. I've seen a lot of good people go down some terrible roads cause of that stuff (me included). And I've had to bury a friend cause a deal went wrong.

        Alcohol can be very destructive, but if you've never put yourself into an immediate risk of OD cause of an opiate craving or hit the road in a complete state of zombie-blackout-fiend-mode cause of one too many Xannys, you're probably not experienced enough to talk about those.

    • Harley Quinn

      probably suboxone or benzodiazepines

  • Guest

    “Which do you think is better for you? Binge drinking or being a recreational drug user?” First of all, alcohol is a drug. Second, I think it depends on which “recreational drugs” in particular. You jump around quite a bit in this. Comparing alcohol to pot is one thing. Comparing alcohol to drugs like heroin or oxycontin (i'm assuming that is what you meant by “pill form of heroin”) is idiotic. Maybe you've “tried” something like this once, but you obviously have never known any serious users or know enough about the harmful and life threatening situations these drugs create. If you did, you wouldn't comment on them in this way, which seems to be discounting their seriousness. 
    Also, don't blame the beer if you shit in the street and sleep with random strangers. That's your own fault, buddy.

    • Lara


  • kc

    Come back to me when you see your emaciated friend die from an infection in her arm because she used a dirty needle.
    You piece of shit.

    • Charlie

      hehe really? as if alcohol never killed anyone?

    • Ryan O'Connell

      wait. i don't think anyone should shoot up heroin. ever. heroin, crack and meth are no no no's

  • Julian Galette

    Sounds like you suck at drinking.

  • inflammatorywrit

    “If you can drink a handle of vodka and puke on the street while having people cheer you on, why can’t I take a bar of Xanax while watching Buffy in the comfort of my own home?”Exactly! The most dangerous thing I've done while high is to scare the shit out of myself while watching really awful Redbox horror movies. The most dangerous thing I've seen drunk people do, however, is legitimately terrifying.

  • Kevingallagher

    this writer hasn't even done heroin…

    • Guest

      True, the writer doesn't state that he's done heroin, though he states he's tried the “pill equivalent of heroin. 

      He says he's done his fair share of experimenting. Since he doesn't just stick to one drug to compare alcohol with (ie pot),it seems (to me, anyway) that he is comparing alcohol to all popular illegal drugs, not just the ones he mentioned. 

  • Guest

    benzo addiction/withdrawal is pretty horrible.

  • damo

    all this article makes me want to do is a line.

  • Dudez

    slowly finding out all of this guy's articles are just “hey, you're [i'm] old now, stop having fun”.

    dude sounds like a total downer, go have a beer.

  • Michael Koh


  • eferf6
  • Harley Quinn

    alcohol turns anti-social introverts to the life of the party.

    • mopey P

      or into whiny sad crying drunks who tell you all about their bitch ex and dad who never loved them enough = downnerrr. Hard to predict if someone will be a  happy or a sad drunk.

  • kyle

    i hate my father so much because he is an alcoholic. he spend 2,000 this week on booze, hes a horrible human and i hate that my mother and me and my sister puts up with this shit. i concur indefinitely with this, alcoholic abuse and mistreatment should be recognized more as a legitimate problem for the public

    • Annette Iris Rivera

      Get the fuck out of your house, man.

    • Simone

      My dad’s the same way and I hate him too. A lot of people can’t really understand that hatred.

      But anyway, he really is pathetic. He lost his job from drinking too much, never had any money to spend and just would be better off dead. He’s lucky my mom is such an amazing and nice and caring person. She lets him stay in this house, without her he would be out on the streets with all the other fucked up wastes. I had a full bottle of rum in my room last week and I came home one day and it was empty.

      He won’t acknowledge the problem. My mom tried to get him to go to A.A. meetings, and she attends meetings through A.A. as a support group, but there’s no helping those who can’t help themselves.

      I’m only 19, and I do like to party and drink, but I almost always prefer a joint over a beer.

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