Last week, I told you how to dress if you went to a college like Arizona State University. This week, I will tell you how to dress like a liberal arts college student! Believe me, there is a heavy distinction.
Treat your college campus like it’s a runway. Have dreams of becoming a fashion model but realize you have to live in the dorms and take Religion & Spirituality In Contemporary America instead. Be resentful. Read soooo many fashion blogs. Fashion, fashion, fashion. Intern at a fashion magazine two days a week. Fashion, fashion, fashion. Fancy yourself to be very multi-faceted. “I can talk about Foucault but also talk about the fall 2008 season of Balenciaga, you know?”
Have a lot of money, duh. Come to class in an outfit that costs more than the annual teacher’s salary and watch your professor silently weep in the corner. Choose one of two style directions: Gothic princess on coke or loud zany girl on coke. Whichever you pick, know that you will always be on coke. Wear bizarre feathers in your hair, impractical footwear, and lots of leather. Look utterly ridiculous showing up to class in 5-inch heels and furry ear muffs but love every second of it.
Look terribly unfriendly. Terrify everyone. Pretend that you’re not actually in school. Ugh, you’re just so embarrassed to be there. You have other things going on like a DJ gig, hooking up with Leo Fitzpatrick, and hanging out with like five It Girls. Your world is so much bigger than this campus!
LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME! I’m weird, I’m kooky! That girl is wearing a dead bird in her hair? Well, I’m going to wear actual deer antlers tomorrow! So there!
Even the people who don’t have style at a liberal arts college know at the very least to wear Doc Martens and a floral dress. The worst dressed person at a school like NYU or Sarah Lawrence is the best dressed person at a place like Michigan State.
Channel The Following Looks: Mischa Barton In A Psych Ward, Maybe I’m Gay, I Am Every Character From My So-Called Life, The Only Thing I’ve Eaten In Three Days Is My ADD Medication, Everyone Is Jealous Of Me And I Can Understand Why, My Parents Won’t Call Me Back, This Outfit Is A Genderfuck, I Love The Craft And If I Wear Black Lipstick I’ll Be A Witch, Don’t Panic My Dress Is Organic, Stop Looking At Me, Okay, You Can Look At Me and I’m Scared 2 Graduate.
People who go to liberal arts colleges were clearly not hugged enough as a child. If they were, they wouldn’t be prancing around wearing their dead dog as an outfit. But that’s okay. It’s why we love them. Right?