OMG, I Can Get Married Now!

Right now, New York is experiencing the gayest weekend of its life. Besides hearing the wondrous news that gay marriage has been legalized, it’s also Pride weekend—a three day event in which gay men demonstrate their pride by behaving shamefully! Okay, I’m sort of kidding but to be honest, I do sometimes find Pride to be a tad ironic. It’s supposed to be a time for gay people to celebrate and be proud of who they are. Judging by a lot of people’s experiences during the Pride parties, however, it usually just turns into a weekend-long shame spiral. People use it as an opportunity to get wasted, do drugs, and sleep around…because they take such pride in being gay? Confusing.

But this year feels different. There seems to be a sense of genuine pride amongst the gays in New York and it’s probably because they’ve finally been granted the same rights that everyone else has always had. I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to live in a fantastic city during such a pivotal time in human rights. Walking out my door on Friday night, I was delighted to see the streets overrun by gay men who were cheering and smiling from ear to ear. With all of the different subcultures that exist within the gay community, it’s easy to feel alienated and disconnected from other gays. But there was a real sense of unity that night. Whether you’re a twink, a bear, or just a regular ol’ queer, it felt good to be recognized. It felt good to be able to marry the person you love or will love someday.

I just really hope this doesn’t get overturned. Remember when everyone ran off and got married in San Francisco (I’m looking at you, Rosie!}, only to have the state of California later invalidate these marriages with their Proposition 8 ruling? Yeah, that was devastating and insulting. To have your marriage be valid one day and then be deemed invalid the next is completely ridiculous. I know gay New Yorkers won’t stand for that shit. They’re going to be spending too much time and money on their weddings for these marriages to become “illegal.” “Oh, our marriage has been invalidated? Tell that to our gift registry at Babeland, and the $20,000 we spent on catering. Sorry but we paid good money to be called husband and husband/wife and wife.”

Even if it does get overturned, it won’t last. Gay marriage is here, queer, and everyone else is going to have deal with it. A hundred years from now, it will be discussed in textbooks and students in middle school will be like,”Wait, there was a time when gays couldn’t get married? That’s insane!” It’s how I felt reading about racial segregation when I was growing up. I couldn’t believe that actually happened! But it did, just like the fight for gay marriage is happening now.

What’s the world going to be like with a ton of gay married New Yorkers in it? I predict that there will be a reality show on VH1 called, My Fabulous Gay Wedding, which will be followed by My Fabulous Gay Divorce. I think that will be the only major difference.

Oh, speaking of weddings, I have to go plan mine now. I’m walking down the aisle to “Sun Was High (So Was I)” by Best Coast and instead of sitting on chairs, my guests will all be placed on unicorns.Edit: Unicorns are apparently not real so I’m getting white horses and sticking a horn in the middle of their head. For dinner, I’ll be serving “Was getting married a mistake?” ravioli followed  by “I hope there will be a threesome later” fondue. TC mark

image – aigle_dore

Ryan O'Connell

I'm a brat.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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  • Amanda Mae

    Ryan, I love you. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/iamahmad Ahmad Radheyyan

      He’s such a good writer.

  • http://www.facebook.com/iamahmad Ahmad Radheyyan

    congrats on your rights bro

    • skylar

      Cool rights bro

  • Asdf

    I guess this’ll get added to list of reasons why L.A. is the weirdest city in the world, and NYC isn’t?

    • damo

      oh get over it.

      • Asdf

        Get over what? I think perhaps you read too much into this.

  • http://twitter.com/brandollars Brandon Silverman

    How is My Fabulous Gay Wedding NOT a show yet? Jump on that pitch, Ryan.

  • http://twitter.com/DorryAlena Dorry Alena Funaki

    you are such an amazing writer! I love reading your articles!!! 

  • Anti-Climacus

    Congrats on your inclusion into an archaic, oppressive institution! Assimilation never felt so liberating! 

    Now get out there and celebrate with your “brothers” and “sisters” at Target/Wells Fargo/Macy’s/Delta/Bud Lite presents NYC Pride. 

    • xra

      don’t despair dude, have a little faith

  • Jazzy

    I’m curious why you made this specific to gay men. What about the women? They must be celebrating too.
    Congrats on the right to marry though, great thing.

  • xra

    best part was seeing this banner ad next to the headline:

    http://bit.ly/jubPHf

  • Anonymous

    technically all the legal gay marriages in CA are still valid at the state level.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/VirtualKarim VirtualKarim

    You technically have always been allowed to get married. Just not to a man.

    • Guest

      blah blah you’re so clever

  • Anonymous

    ta.gg/4vh

  • Anonymous

    I don’t understand why the institution of marriage hasn’t been abolished for all genders. 

    But on another note, I wish there were gay marriages during Regency England. It would have made Pride & Prejudice so much more interesting.  

  • Anon

    The same-sex marriages performed before Prop 8 weren’t “invalidated” so…

  • anon

    I was just waiting for you to cover this. Although long overdue, congratulations. :)

  • inflammatorywrit

    I would die happy if I was invited to your wedding.

  • https://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/15-things-that-are-way-scarier-than-gay-marriage/ 15 Things That Are Way Scarier Than Gay Marriage | Thought Catalog

    […] or a man. If anything, it’s a glorious reminder as to why we’re all here, which is to love one another! Get warm and fuzzes! Have sex! Feel less alone! I’m so tired of people talking about this […]

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/12/15-things-that-are-way-scarier-than-gay-marriage/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    […] or a man. If anything, it’s a glorious reminder as to why we’re all here, which is to love one another! Get warm and fuzzes! Have sex! Feel less alone! I’m so tired of people talking about this […]

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