Dear Gay Dude,
Lately I’ve wanted to sleep with guys. I find myself really physically attracted to a lot of the guys I know to the point where I’m really curious as to how sex with them would be like. The only thing making me question whether this is actually true, if such a thing could be doubted, is how I’m still a virgin. So I can’t tell if my attraction is mainly out of sheer horniness to have sex at all or if I’m actually into guys. Is it possible to be this straight-curious or gay or whatever it is without having had sex yet? Is this what they call the “gay phase”?
I (Think I) Like Dudes
Hey I (Think I) Like Dudes,
Okay, where are all of these bi-curious dudes coming from?! It reminds of the little beach town I grew up in where all of the boys were kind of gay and would make out with me. Are you from Ventura, California? Anyway, this is actually a really interesting question. I, for one, never played in the vagina pool even when I was a virgin and could get turned on by something as PG as a Diet Coke commercial. But they always say that sexuality exists on a scale. I just happen to be the on the gayest side, I guess. So boring.
This past week, I had drinks with a fellow gay dude and he started telling me about how the best sex of his life was with a woman. I was shocked. This was a man who was in a relationship with a guy, had “I’m here, I’m queer!” stapled to his moisturized forehead, and here he was telling me about how much he loved putting his P in some chick’s V! It blew my 100% gay mind. I also had lunch with another gay friend of mine who used to have sex with girls and he told me about this weird prejudice that certain gay men have against other gay dudes who have never been with a woman. Like they think I’m less of a gay man for never having been with a woman or something. Doesn’t that sound crazy and weird? Isn’t it just the rudest? Furthermore, what was the point of me telling you this story?
I think what I’m trying to say is that you might just like both boys and girls. I don’t think your virginity really plays a role in any of it. If you’re getting turned on by the thought of being with another guy, chances are you’re just into dudes. Which is okay and great, and yay, welcome to the big gay bisexual whatever family!
On the other hand, this could also just be a phase. You’re pretty young right? When you’re new to the sex game, I feel like you’re more willing to experiment. You could end up having sex with a guy and being like, “Thanks but no thanks!” If that’s the case, I’m kind of envious of you. Part of me wishes I had that flexibility inside of me. But as it happens, I’m gayer than Tom Cruise and John Travolta at a Scientology chilli cook-off so I just have to accept it.
Just go where your dick takes you and try not to worry about labels, okay?